Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
Follow the Hollow Tree on Facebook!Follow the tweets!Let's pin together!Look! Square pictures!Google Plus us!HTV's on the YouTube, too!Subscribe via RSS feed!Get yourself some Bloglovin'!I'll send htv to your email inbox!

Headlines From Every Mom's Trip To a Restaurant

funny list of headlines from every mom's trip to a restaurant by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Did you hear that Hillary Clinton stopped to eat at a Chipotle in Ohio last week? Of course you did; you can't swing a burrito bowl around the Internet these days without seeing an article about it.

What's the big deal, you ask? Oh, it's quite newsworthy according to every news outlet on the planet taking time to investigate all aspects of ChipotleGate; from the political strategy behind her apparent attempts to avoid being recognized (Sunglasses! Crafty!) to the campaign implications of Hillary carrying her own tray, no salsa packet has been left unturned in the public's insatiable need to talk about something other than bikini bodies for a few minutes.

Some might say the Web should calm down—after all, it's only lunch! But moms tend to disagree; every mother ends up feeling scrutinized at restaurants at some point or another, and whether it's because you're a presidential candidate or because your toddler is having a Level Five meltdown over french fries, nobody likes to be the center of attention while they're trying to eat. Who wouldn't love a little anonymity the next time they go out?

Anyway, it's lucky most moms aren't famous enough to warrant 874 Google search results when we stop to grab some fast food, because I can imagine what the headlines would be.

funny list of headlines from every mom's trip to a restaurant by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

  • Mother Spends Entire Meal Hissing at Child to 'Get Up Off That Filthy Floor'
  • Child, Age 6, Too Busy Coloring Menu to Select Entree
  • Local Eatery Believes Five Napkins Fulfills Mom's Request For "A LOT of Napkins"
  • Distressed Mother Reports, 'If I'd known they were going to order nuggets, we'd have just stayed home'
  • Disaster Befalls Teen Seen Eating With Parents by Peers
  • The Intense Planning Behind Lunch Involving Squirming Toddler, Revealed!
  • EXCLUSIVE: Mom Describes Casual Dining as "Expensive Opportunity to Cut Child's Food Up in New and Exciting Location"
  • Study Shows Booth Seat-Kicking Is Leading Cause of Mothers' Restaurant Apologies
  • Attempts to Strap Baby Into Horrible Wooden Restaurant High Chair Becomes 3-Hour Ordeal
  • Informal Poll Names 'Anywhere But Home' as Best Place For Child to Discover the Joy of Blowing Milk Bubbles
  • WATCH As Mom Fails to Convince Child That Restaurant's Mac and Cheese Is Not Like the Kind at Home
  • Parents, Embarrassed But Starving, Able to Consume Food Only While Toddler Converses With Strangers at Next Table
  • Lidless Cup Given To Toddler Results In Literally Everyone, Everywhere Getting Drenched
  • Mom and Dad Suddenly Remember Why They Don't Do This More Often

photo credit: Camera smile! via photopin (license)

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?