Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Quiz: is that a crappy Halloween costume?

October is in full swing, and it's easy to tell; there are gourd-based tablescapes cluttering up my Pinterest feed, leaf-based messes cluttering up my yard, and pumpkin-spice-based everything cluttering up my everywhere else.

But aside from all that, I know it must be October because, according to my kids' unreasonable demands to be transformed into pirate-demon-Spiderman-fairy-shark-princess-ninjas, we've officially kicked off dress-up season.

That means parties, school functions, and (of course) trick-or-treating all call for us to scrape out the dregs of our Holiday Creativity Reservoir and mold it into some kind of fantastical costume that perfectly toes the line between "so impressively magnificent that you must not have a life" and "made at the last minute out of crap I already had sitting around the house."

A quick, funny 10-question quiz to find out the truth - is your costume super cool, or super crap? Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

I'm sorry to say this, but I think a lot of people (cough - teenagers - cough, cough) lean toward the latter. However, laziness and being a teenager aren't the only elements that typically shape a potentially crappy Halloween costume. I'm sure you've seen plenty of folks walking around this time of year and thought to yourself, "Oh, I would never call that lame pile of garbage a costume" (or something slightly less harsh, if you're nicer than I am).

But how do you know?

Homemade Halloween costumes are like cutting your own hair - when you're that close to a project, sometimes it's hard to tell if it sucks. But never fear! Like a witch-mummy-Batman-mermaid-superhero, I'm here to swoop in and help! Just take this quiz to find out . . .

Are you guilty of wearing a crappy Halloween costume?

  1. Are you just an older/younger/pregnant/zombie version of yourself?
  2. Are you the slutty version of an inanimate object?
  3. Do you believe that wearing a pair of sunglasses automatically makes you one of the Blues Brothers?
  4. Is your costume supposed to be ironic?
  5. Related: Will you have to explain your costume to more than 80% of the people who see you?
  6. Is your costume entirely comprised of a wig, fake mustache, or other facial accessory?
  7. Would you have hated this costume when you were a kid (hobos and ghosts, I'm looking at you)?
  8. Are you wearing mostly Lycra or (worse yet) full body paint?
  9. Does your costume reference a news story that hasn't been in the news since the 1990s?
  10. Does your costume involve a Snuggie in any way?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, for shame! Go back home, put on your robe and curlers, and head to your next party dressed as a tired housewife, like I am.

So, Is your costume this year absolutely unbelievable? Or unbelievably lame? (Uh, like mine.)

This article republished with permission and originally appeared on In The Powder Room.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Molly said...

I go as the same thing every year - a tired mother with smuggled candy melting in her pockets. (Some of which I won't find until AFTER it has run through the wash.)
My kids always have awesome costumes because I (OK, my mother) sews their costumes. What can I say? I clearly have a better mother than they do.

Devon said...

My son keeps asking my husband and I what we are going to be; we keep telling him we are going as "Mommy" and "Daddy".
"But that's what you ALWAYS are! You're ALREADY a Mommy and Daddy."

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Moms are so awesome - until they're making you LOOK BAD! ;) I'm sure your kids' costumes are great, but yours is sure to be my favorite (pssst... pass the melty chocolate).

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Oooh, that's a good one - I'm going to see if it'll fly with my kids. If they don't buy it, I'll tell them I'm going as someone *else's* mommy.

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