Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The wrap-up in which NickMom happens

Here's how our dinner conversation went the other day:

Me (to the kids): You ever heard of Nickelodeon?

Kids (barely paying attention): Mmm hmm.

Me: You ever heard of moms?

Kids: **crazy eyes**

Me: You ever heard of the Internet?

**cackles wildly, because I always find myself to be hilarious (when I'm sleep deprived)**

Zoe: I know we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the internet.

Everyone else: **crazy eyes**

My husband (to Jake): We haven't given her The Talk yet.

Zoe: I don't get it.

Me (forging ahead, even though we're way off topic and everyone is ignoring me anyway): Guess who writes for NickMom!

Gerry: Santa?

Zoe (finally excited): One Direction?

Thanks for nothing, family, but the answer is ME - I write for NickMom! And my very first piece was published there this week, so I'd love it if you guys checked it out - it's the Top 9 Foods Commonly Found in a Toddler's Lunch, and every word is true. And funny. Because NickMom is serious about their funny.

top 9 foods commonly found in a toddler's lunch by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV on NickMom

As wonderful as that is, assuming your mind isn't completely blown from all the wonderfulness, here's some more wonderful junk:

 photo weeklywrapup20131109_zps16dfcfe9.jpg

I wrote a few things, but not many, because I'm lazy, and because, meh. I did, however, use a few weeks' worth of commas in that sentence, so that's practically like writing! Just click on the pretty pictures below to find out how dolls deal with lice, why PMS is your husband's fault, why my cat is drunk, and what happens when dumb people rely too heavily on spell check.

As The Dollhouse Turns Lice Outbreak by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV
It's not PMS - it's Manopause! by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV
Do you party with your pet?An essay about feline wine by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV
Spelling is for loosers - an essay on spellcheck by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

If your brain hasn't yet switched gears from jack-o-lanterns to pumpkin pie, you might be interested in a funny graphic explaining how to tell which kids are too old for trick-or-treating, or learning what would cause me to kill my husband before the zombies get to him, or seeing if you agree with these 10 signs of a crappy Halloween costume.

I'm also co-hosting a giveaway from CheckedTwice, in which you could win $500!!! I'm not allowed to win it, so you might as well - go enter!

Finally, some more laughs courtesy of CraftFail - Anna from Random Handprints shared her glitter pumpkin meltdown (thanks for the comments everyone, but I KNOW those aren't green beans - it was a joke), and Kelley from Kelley's Break Room let me write about her son's birthday party debacle (and no, dear readers, she couldn't just turn the 6 upside down, but don't ask me why - I barely even know how to spell pinata, let alone how to hang one up).

Thanks for reading, everyone - seriously. Stay tuned for more fun stuff next week!

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Amy at Funny is Family said...

You and NickMom are a match made in funny joke, graphic-centric heaven. Congratulations! Also? I keep my green beans next to my glitter pumpkins, too!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Well thanks! I hope you're right and they don't break up with me when they realize I spend most of my time eating, procrastinating, or eating as an excuse for procrastinating. As for the CraftFail post, it just proves what I've said all along - green beans are the best vegetables for food-related photo bombs.

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