Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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As The Dollhouse Turns - At the Beach

As The Dollhouse Turns - at the beach

Worn out from the daily demands of running a household, Sunny looks forward to a long-awaited family weekend at the lake.

“This is going to be so relaxing,” she says to herself, despite all evidence to the contrary.

As The Dollhouse Turns - are we there yet?

“What day is it?”

“When are we leaving?”

“Can I put my swimsuit on yet?”

“Mommy, guess what! It’s only 97 more hours! Now it’s only 96 hours and 59 minutes! Now it’s only 96 hours and 58 minutes...”

Eventually the girls count down to zero hours and zero minutes, and it’s time to go.

Or rather, it’s time to get in the minivan and wait for Buzz to repack it eleventy zillion times in an effort to bring an extra cooler of beer. Under her breath, Sunny mumbles words of, um... encouragement.

As The Dollhouse Turns - packing the van

Sunny is determined to start unwinding as soon as they hit the road, no matter how many requests to stop at McDonald’s, demands for a bathroom break, or complaints about one of the kids touching another one of the kids she has to ignore.

She resorts to letting them listen to a KidzBop CD before they reach the end of the driveway, and uses up her entire reserve of bribery snacks before they get down the block, but $400 worth of gas later, they arrive at the beach.

“Girls, none of us are going to have any fun if you get sunburned. Come over here and get some sunscreen on,” Sunny calls. Of course, the girls are happy to cooperate.

As The Dollhouse Turns - applying sunscreen

Already stressed out five minutes into her relaxing vacation, Sunny takes a new approach. “Never mind - it’ll be more, um... fun... if you just swim fully clothed, anyway.”

Sunny heads down to the beach, and the girls immediately scatter in every direction.

As The Dollhouse Turns - relax

“Finally. Time for me to just sit by the water, read a book, relax...”

Four seconds later...

As The Dollhouse Turns - look at me

“Mommy, look at me!”

“No, look at me!”

“Hey, this water is too cold.”

“Eww, seaweed touched me! Get it off, get it off!”

“Watch! I can do a handstandddddbbbbbbppppppp...”

As The Dollhouse Turns - underwater handstand

Sunny realizes she’ll never get a moment’s peace with the girls in the water. “Why don’t you come up here and play on the beach for a while instead?” she almost immediately regrets suggesting.

As The Dollhouse Turns - eating sand

“Mommy, can you go get my plastic shovel? It floated away again. And make Chiffon stop eating the sand out of my bucket!”

As The Dollhouse Turns - sand castle stomp

“WAHHHHH! Charmeuse ruined my sand castle!!!”

Sunny sighs. "Okay, who wants to go over to the dock and feed the fish?"

As The Dollhouse Turns - dock

"GAH! Never mind! Get away from the edge of the dock!!!"

Eventually, after an afternoon full of fun (and zero relaxation), Sunny drags the waterlogged, exhausted girls up to the cabin for dinner, baths, and bed. Later, she sneaks back outside to enjoy some quiet time, just gazing at the water.

“This place really is relaxing. Where on earth has Buzz been, though?” she wonders. “I really could’ve used his help today at the beach.”

As The Dollhouse Turns - buried in sand

Thanks for joining us for another episode of As The Dollhouse Turns! You can see previous episodes here, and be sure to check out more dollhouse fun on the As The Dollhouse Turns Facebook page!

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Kate Hall said...

Oh Buzz, so typical. That beach towel cracked me up! And picturing you out in public positioning all these dolls and snapping photos made me laugh. So funny! That part about the kids counting down the minutes before leaving is so freaking true. My son does it almost every day with his favorite tv show. I've tried turning it into a learning to tell time situation and that ends up being torture for us both bc he doesn't want to have to learn when it's not school-time. Ugh!

Abby Heugel said...

THIS is why your vacation wasn't that relaxing. You had to watch all their children as well. Exhausting! Loved it ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

You never saw that beach towel! (Note to the owners of the lake house we rented: No, of course I didn't take any of your bath linens to the beach! That is most definitely NOT one of your wash cloths.)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks, Abby! I do sometimes wish that watching my own children was as easy as sticking them into my suitcase. ;)

Gerard Welling said...

Do our kids all fit in suitcases? That would make for one heckuva cheap flight!

I would like to point out that Buzz is NOT an avatar for me, and his actions in almost no way mirror my own. Sometimes I think your readers assume...

fishducky said...

So when can I buy this book?

Carrie said...

Too cute! Vacations really are a lot of work. Especially with kids!

The Shitastrophy said...

Love these! It's like a look into my world - Look At me!!!

Carisa Miller said...

At least this time Buzz was not to blame, except for letting himself be buried.

I love picturing you packing up the dolls so everyone can go on vacation together. I also enjoy wondering whether you scrounged the beach for doll sand toys/a discarded soda lid, or brought provided your own.

rorybore said...

We just got back from a camping trip. it's an odd combination of work and fun. I brought a book to read for those quiet moments on the beach, or at the end of the day.
I just unpacked it from where it was buried at the bottom of my suitcase.
It never saw the light of day.
A vacation with kids, is no vacation really at all.

Christian at PCPPP said...

Ooooh, an episode shot on location. This is like when the Bradys went to Hawaii.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Oh fishducky, you sure know how to flatter a gal!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

No kidding! Of course my pre-kid vacations were a lot less adorable too, so there's that. ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I'm glad - but also deeply sorry - that you can relate. :)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I snagged the side lid off the kitchen counter before I went down to the beach, so I owe an apology to whichever family member was unable to close their beverage after that. The hardest part, really, was keeping the kids from seeing the dolls - I feel sure if they'd played with them, one or all of them would still be at the bottom of the lake (dolls, obviously - not the kids).

Lichen said...

There should be a new word for "vacationing with children" and I think it should be a stression. Because really vacationing with kids is more like a family field trip, a deployment -nothing relaxing about it.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I hear ya - kudos to you for even taking a book! I like your optimism.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Hopefully not like when Fonzie jumped the shark...

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

"Family field trip" - YES, perfect!

Darcy Perdu said...

So funny! And I can identify so much with the line: Eww! Seaweed touched me -- get it off, get it off! Sounds like my kids! Eww! This sand is so sandy! Eww! This water is wet! :o)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Hahaha - you TOTALLY get it! ;)

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