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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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12 Yoga Poses for Moms

yoga poses for moms

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. On the one hand, it's so full of funny that it's almost too good to be true! But on the other hand... everything else.

Pretty much everything else on Pinterest, I'm pretty sure, exists solely to make me feel inferior - and in no section of Pinterest is that more true than Health & Fitness. The endless photos of toned buns and flat abs are bad enough, but I think the posters might be worse. You know the ones, with a jillion exercises all mapped out, complete with people demonstrating each move so vigorously that your eyeballs start sweating just looking at them, as if not knowing how to execute the exercises with proper form was the only thing preventing me from actually getting up off my computer chair and working out.

I used to do yoga, but these days the only contorting and straining I do is in an attempt to pull my old jeans up past my knees. I'd consider trying it again, but I'd prefer it if the poses were a bit better adapted to my life as a mom. And really, after forcing myself to look at some of the pictures on Pinterest to refresh my memory, all it might take is simply renaming the poses. So here they are, 12 yoga poses that might look familiar, but are now tailor made just for moms.




Formerly Downward-Facing Dog, now:
yoga poses for moms
Finding Polly Pocket Shoes



Formerly Revolved Side Angle Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
Hand Me the Allen Wrench,
I Almost Have This Crib Assembled


Formerly Extended Side Angle Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
Left My Wine On the Counter


Formerly Twisted Warrior Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
Wave At the Bus Stop,
Cover Mustard Stain On Pants


Formerly Sugarcane Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
WHAT DID I JUST STEP IN?


Formerly Eagle Pose II, now:
yoga poses for moms
Please Lord, Let Them Fall Asleep By 8:30


Formerly Reverse Warrior, now:
yoga poses for moms
Shut Up Back There
Or I Will Turn This Car Around


Formerly Extended Side Angle II, now:
yoga poses for moms
Throw Diaper Into Trash
Keep One Hand On Baby


Formerly Pyramid Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
Very Funny... Now Untie Me


Formerly Standing Half Bridge, now:
yoga poses for moms
Impromptu Indoor Dodgeball


Formerly the Standing Spinal Twist, now:
yoga poses for moms
There's Play Doh On the Floor...
AND the Ceiling?!?


Formerly Corpse Pose, now:
yoga poses for moms
Still Corpse Pose

photo source: Fitsugar

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


58 comments:

Wretched Refuse said...

I'm not a mom, but one of these poses does apply to me. Unfortunately, it's corpse pose!

(snare sting)

Raine Vollor said...

so funny! I love the wine on the counter one :)

De said...

Oh my gosh....I am not a mom but those are hysterical! Thank you for making me laugh so hard this morning :)

Sam said...

I think I just died. Hilarious! You just made my day better. Stupid pinterest. :-)

Stacey said...

Oh my gosh!! I giggled all the way through this one! So funny!!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

If you're only going to do one, that's the one I'd pick!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

It's a handy move, because I like to play with the kids on the floor - but I like it even more with wine.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

That makes me happy - thanks! :D

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

So glad to hear it! I love Pinterest, but I do curse under my breath at it a lot, too. ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks - so glad you got a kick out of it!

Maria Whitehead said...

This was AWESOME! I just shared it on Facebook. I've inadvertently done several of those poses as a mom - impromptu indoor dodgeball just recently! (:

Kelly @ In the Mom Light said...

Please Lord let them take a 3 hour nap today!!! Love the poses :-)

Gerard Welling said...

Haha! I do some of these. I never knew I was doing yoga, though. Do over-the-head backwards/upside-down curls with a 2 year old count as an exercise?

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks for sharing - and congrats on successfully saving face (literally) with the Impromptu Indoor Dodgeball pose! :)

Lindsey Duncan Renuard said...

So true! You are hilarious. Visiting from MamaKat's.

fishducky said...

I'm sending a link to this post to my friend--a yoga instructor!!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Right?!?! Ah, the 3-hour nap, salve to a mother's soul. ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Oh dear! Tell your friend that I got tired of doing real research, so yes, I know some of the "before" yoga pose names are made up. Some call it lazy, but I prefer to call it "artistic license." :)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks - so glad you were here!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I get tired just thinking about it, so I'm guessing they do count. I count them, anyway, when I'm deciding how many bowls of ice cream we should have at 11 pm.

Christian at PCPPP said...

My favorite one is the cover mustard stain on pants. Partly because I really like mustard but mostly because it's hilarious.

Julie said...

Lol...thanks for the laughs! :)

Dyanne @ I Want Backsies said...

Okay, got the corpse pose down.

The Tired Mother said...

I'm never going to be able to keep a straight face doing yoga again (not that I ever really did.). These are brilliant!

Gina Jacobs Thomas said...

Namaste Robyn! I will never do another Downward Dog again without thinking of alternative names for it. I've totally done this move looking for crap under the couch. Thanks for the funny!

Julia said...

Um, LOVE. Seriously, your names would be SO much easier to remember! (And MUCH more realistic!)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I like mustard, too - maybe I should just start wearing yellow pants.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks! Keeping a straight face during yoga is strictly optional. No wait, I meant strictly impossible.

Piper said...

That was the best!! I laughed so hard!!! Being a mom, I think I may have done a few of the these poses!? LOL....I know I've done the wine pose...lol...I like that one... ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

It's a useful move for finding out whose tricycle you backed over in the driveway, too!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Coming up with new names is a good way to occupy yourself while the chiropractor realigns everything I twisted out of whack trying to do yoga.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Being a forgetful lady who enjoys wine, I get a lot of use out of that pose. ;)

Piper said...

You and me both!!! I loveee this site!

Shannon said...

OH.MY.GOD. You've always been hilarious to me, you're one of the first blogs that I started following and one of only 2 'mommy blogs' that I still read, and through all the good stuff that you've put out there, I don't think I've laughed as hard as I just did. I am now officially re-naming Child's Pose - 'I'm going to pretend I didn't see that'

rorybore said...

Way funnier than anything I've ever seen on Pinterest! My husband keeps challenging me to improve my Plank Pose time. What he doesn't get is it's not a lack of strength that has me give out in 10 seconds.....but having my nose that close to my smelly carpet.

Mary Jo Johnson said...

This made me laugh so much, and I can totally relate. "Left my wine on the counter" is my favorite!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Love that move - I hate it when I have to use it, but I do love the move. ;)

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I wish I couldn't relate to the smelly carpet! But I only get close to mine in child's pose - no planking for me!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Hahaha - that's a great one! Thank you so much for all that nice stuff you said - it really, really means a lot to me. :D

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Aww, thank you!!!

Miranda Ramsey Evans said...

Love the poses! These are hilarious!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks! The day I can't laugh at the thought of exercising is a scary day indeed. ;)

Darcy Perdu said...

This is hilarious! Very clever! My favorite is the Dear Lord, Please Let Them Fall Asleep by 8:30!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I do that one every day!

mamakatslosinit said...

I am dying laughing, these are so hilarious and yes I'd say I've already mastered quite a few of them.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Thanks so much, and thanks for sharing the post! I'm about to sink into an extended corpse pose, myself. :)

Adrienn said...

I love this post! Ha! I used to teach yoga...a million years, 30 pounds ago and very unqualified-like but anyhoo...laughed at every one!

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I'm going to count that as a professional endorsement - thank you very much!

Katherine S said...

I'm not a mom and I can't stop laughing! This is the best! I have nieces and nephews and this is so appropriate...LOL

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Bonus points for having to do all these moves when they aren't even your own kids - kudos!

Thereza Howling said...

Thanks for the laughs! I teach kids yoga and we usually rename many poses in a fun way, but yours are humorous in adult style! My favorite was "covering the mustard stain"!
On a side note, I don't use Pinterest and after your comments I still have no desire to.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Cool, I bet the kids love the fun pose names! Really, though, Pinterest isn't so bad - as long as you avoid the fitness stuff. Too much pressure!

SisterhoodoftheSensibleMoms said...

They were all good! I especially like the Play Doh one and the praying one. You really should take this show on the road (for real). Ellen

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

Of I tried to actually do all these poses, it really *would* be a show! But, uh, not in a good way.

Christie said...

Wow! I've been doing yoga all this time and didn't even know it! It's like finding $5 in your back pocket!
Over here from Finding the Funny...love "left the wine on the counter pose". I have that one perfected.

Robyn of HollowTreeVentures said...

I'm doing that one right now! Thanks for coming over from FtF. :D

John Smith said...

Great yoga poses like this article :D and nice pictures :D

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