Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Mom's favorite hiding place (in limericks)

Perhaps you'll think I'm speaking in poor taste
when I tell you all about my favorite place.
I visit when I'm feeling low,
or when I feel an urge to go
far from the people whining in my face.

"Mom, I need some fruit snacks right away!"
"Mom, she's repeating every word I say!"
"Hey, I got here first!"
Caillou's on - ugh, he's the worst.
This kind of crap goes on all night and day.

Sometimes moms just need some privacy -
we sneak off, just my iPhone and me.
With the internet I rest
from the laundry and small pests
while I'm pretending that I have to pee.

Before long, there's a knock upon the door.
"Are you in there?" "Just one minute more!"
"You going number One or number Two?
I have things you need to do,
and we've crushed your cookies on the kitchen floor."

I sigh, and press the flusher on my seat,
wash my hands, unlock the door in my defeat.
I smile at their shining faces,
of my annoyance there are no traces
(because I'll always have my porcelain retreat).

Thanks to Mama Kat for her writing prompt today, "write a poem about your favorite place to be." When you're a contributor to a book called I Just Want To Pee Alone, how can you choose any other favorite place?!?

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Jessica said...

This is perfect! My favorite place, too (just my iPhone and me). :)

Unknown said...

I'll confess to doing this at work. At home with a teen and a young adult I can't get the bathroom long enough to even think about my smartphone.

Amy said...

Lol, I know this might be a little inappropriate, especially because my boys are teen and preteen......but I got them to stop bugging when I escaped to the bathroom by putting a note on my bathroom door that say's "I'm changing my tampon, is it important?". I swear it works, not only do they not bug me, they don't come within 10 feet of the bathroom door because just the word tampon is like a repellent. Is that wrong???

Amy said...

Loved your poem! I do this at home too - but I also have Mom's quiet zone - after 8pm in my bedroom. No kids unless they whisper! It's been a life saver!

carol daniels said...

Cleaver and very fun to read limerick!

LA Botchar said...

"porcelain retreat"

I'm seriously making a fancy door sign and then pinning it to share with other closet phone pee-ers. tinklers? meh..I'll figure it out on my favourite thinking spot. seat. whatev.

Karen said...

Such a great post! Mr. Lim E. Rick would be so proud. Except he wouldn't really understand because he is not a mom. But we all do and we love it!! Thanks!!

Sue - The Spin Cycle said...

How you kept Eff Bombs out of all of those is beyond me.

Kudos to you, my limerick-y friend.

RobynHTV said...

The cool kids can always be found scrolling their Facebook feed in the bathroom. :)

RobynHTV said...

You take all the work-bathroom time you need! If memory serves, you often need to hide from your coworkers even more than the kids.

RobynHTV said...

Inappropriate? That's PERFECT! I'm soooo doing that from now on!

RobynHTV said...

Smart! I wonder if it's too late to change my kids' habits... and maybe create a full-house quiet zone?

RobynHTV said...

Thank you!

RobynHTV said...

Take your time in there - and be sure to share your sign design. I'm gonna need one of those!

RobynHTV said...

Wow, thank YOU! Glad you could relate - you never know if people will read something like this and then act like they *never* do the same thing. ;)

RobynHTV said...

Ha - thanks! The eff bombs are always mumbled under my breath, so I guess they didn't translate to the written version. ;)

The Third Partier said...

Yes, it's wrong. :/

And noooooo you're not.

The Third Partier said...

There once was a lady who wasn't from Nantucket
Who sat in the loo all day on the bucket.
To the door her baby would creep
Turning the knob to take a peep
Which worked because she forgot to lock it.

There once was mom who hid in the john
From her kids who were not in on the con
But her husband he knew
Her secret he blew
Cuz it doesn't take an hour to use a 'pon.

Love you. :)

RobynHTV said...

You hush.

RobynHTV said...

Oh my God, you are so incredibly awesome. Love you 2.

TNMom said...

This is awesome - of course we all do it!
Your hubby's poem is AWESOME!! :)
<3 Devan

RobynHTV said...

He's awfully talented with those limericks, isn't he?!? :)

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