Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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5 things you shouldn't say to your mother

My mom came over today to watch the baby while I got some writing done, and as luck would have it she was sitting right there in the room when I found out that one of Mama Kat's writing prompts this week is "5 things you should never say to your mother."

How perfect is that?

So, my mom and I worked together to narrow down the very, very, disturbingly long list of things we don't want to ever hear come out of our kids' talk holes, and came up with the top 5, which I then put in this purty graphic because just typing them would've been entirely too simple and efficient.

5 things you shouldn't say to your mother

How'd we do? What shudder-worthy phrases do you hope your kids never say?

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Unknown said...

any mention of sexual activity before they finish high school. I will loss it.
anything with a motorcycle.
piercings in places covered by undergarmets.

Evil-Step-Mom (in training) said...

Your Just like My Mother!!

Explanation, I am not there Mother! I am there Step-Mom and well three of four are old enough to know whats what with step families, and way too much about there mothers. The little guy slips on occasion and calls me Mom! He is 5, I have been in his life since he was 1.5 so yeah it happens. And what they call me is there choice, not mine, and I don't care what they call me. One calls me Evil on occasion when she is having a huge sissified fit, and I just stare blankly at her waiting for it to end, and she says something like aren't you going to call the school!?! Or whatever crazy response she gets from Miss Bipolar Addict herself. I say no. She says why? I say because if you are dumb enough to get bullied by a five year old on the bus because he forces you to let him sit with you, you can solve the problem yourself....... She says HOW?.......with tons of attitude and enormous eye roll..........Seriously I have to explain to an 11 year old that is more than twice this kids size....... DON'T MOVE OVER! She says, Wow your just Evil!

Why yes, yes I am! And we should name you Flower cause thats about how fragile and sicking sweet you are to people who are not worth your time or energy.

If any of them older kids ever make that comment to me they better run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both (yes there are X bad mistake one and two) are nasty, irresponsible, alcoholic, addicts with diagnosed personality problems so I best not ever be told that!! Or I will send them home to her, that will shut them up! (better yet send them home to each others mothers!! Bwhahaha now that right there is some Evil Shit!) LOL

RobynHTV said...

^^^ All excellent guidelines of what they'd BETTER avoid, if they know what's good for 'em!

RobynHTV said...

Oooooh, the old "You're just like someone you can't stand" routine! I think your punishment is perfect - fine, go enjoy her company, then! ;)

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

How about: "I got casted on the next season of MTV's Real World!!!"

RobynHTV said...

The mere thought made me throw up a little.

The Third Partier said...

Thanks for the yuks, Babe! I needed that after the way the ol' alma mater played tonight. Phlbbt.

Bracket = Busted

RobynHTV said...


Kat said...

If my kids told me they were adopted I would be devastated! ;)

RobynHTV said...

Me too, but it sure would explain a lot. ;)

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