Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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My Winter Break Schedule, and Finding the Funny!

I've been working on this one blog post for about eleventy-seven days, but it never seems to get finished. I'm starting to think it has something to do with my (really stupid) Winter Break schedule.

5 AM: Remove baby's fingers from my eye.

5:01-6 AM: Lie very still, hoping I can trick baby into falling back to sleep in a fit of Sleep Deprivation Insanity. Think about getting up to write. Sustain several additional injuries to the eyeball. Give up on coherent thought.

6:05 AM: Stare at the coffee pot, unable to fathom why coffee isn't coming out of it.

6:15 AM: Oh yeah, I have to make coffee happen myself.

6:20-7 AM: Mainline coffee using turkey baster.

7-9 AM: Breakfast Blur, during which various children get up at random times and ask for miscellaneous breakfast items with some kind of supernatural kid precision that ensures that the cereal gets soggy while I'm investigating a burning smell coming from the toaster which started when I went to go see if we had any Pop Tarts hidden in the dining room cabinet.

9-11 AM: Space out, allowing the background noise of video games/bickering/bickering about video games to lull me into a trance-like state.

Noonish: Lunch. Take baby upstairs for a nap, during which time I plan to write. Instead, spend the entire time responding to hate mail and getting time-sucked into facebook.

2 PM: Crap, the baby's awake. I mean, YAY, THE BABY'S AWAKE! I guess I'll write after she goes to sleep tonight...

The Rest Of The Day: I have no idea what happens during this time period, but I know I don't stop moving for more than four seconds, nor am I ever in the bathroom alone.

Sometime between 8:30 and wheneverthehellshefeelslikeit: Take the baby to bed.

9:30 PM: C'mon baby, settle in and fall asleep.

9:45 PM: Seriously, baby, Mama needs to write this blog post.


9:53 PM: I'm unconscious.

As you can see, I'm just swamped with super important crap that keeps me from writing all day long. Luckily, just when I was losing hope that I'd ever have anything amazing to post here ever again for the rest of Time, my friends Anna from My Life and Kids and Kelley from Kelley's Break Room said they needed some co-hosts for the funniest link-up ever, Finding the Funny!

I'm not gonna lie, not only did this save me from having to remember which post I was supposed to be finishing, but I kinda feel a little famous as one of the co-hosts for the next few months. So starting now, right this very second, THE VERY MOMENT IN WHICH YOU'RE READING THESE WORDS, we're all (that means you, too) linking up our funniest posts on the first Wednesday of every month. Then we click, read, laugh, share, and probably add years to our lives in the process.* So what're you waiting for?

*Life-lengthening properties not guaranteed. Laughs are, though.

Meet the Hosts

Anna @ My Life and Kids

Kelley @ Kelley's Break Room

Robyn @ Hollow Tree Ventures

JD @ Honest Mom

Kerry @ HouseTalkN

Keesha @ Mom's New Stage

Meredith @ The Mom of the Year

Anna @ Random Handprints

Toulouse @ Toulouse and Tonic

Paige @ There's More Where That Came From

The Rules

Link up an old or new funny post. Link up as many times as you want (we're serious.)

The party is open from Wednesday - Friday at midnight. The earlier you link up, the more clicks you'll get.

Click around and meet the other funny bloggers that are linking up.

Follow the Finding the Funny Pinterest board. We'll all be pinning our favorites throughout the month.

We don't ask you to link back to us or include a button on your blog, but we do ask you to send out a tweet or post about the party on your Facebook page. Be sure to use #findingthefunny.

Please click below while I space out a little bit again... mmmmm, blank brain....
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Abby said...

Hmmm...sub in a day of "work" at the office, the gym and then a needy cat that--lo and behold!--wants attention and food EVERY DAY, and that's why I haven't written a blog post. (EVERY DAY, I say!)

Oh. And I don't have much to say, so there's that as well. In other words, we're basically superheroes for every publishing anything. That should hold us over awhile...

Anonymous said...

Sounds about right.

RobynHTV said...

My son just marveled that I fed the cat for once without commenting on his incessant need to eat every, single day. Apparently I need to work on my inner dialogue as much as my outer dialogue.

RobynHTV said...


Am I using that right? **consults Urban Dictionary**

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness, we are living a very similar life. And yes, I have decided, they ARE trying to make us crazy! Thanks for the laugh! And distraction. And now I think my kids are killing each other. Gotta go!

The Third Partier said...

I'm just marveling that you fed the cat at all.

The Third Partier said...

We don't have a turkey baster. Also, we've never made a turkey. Also, you are.

If you're really getting hate mail, you'd best forward that junk to me so I can *take care* of some people.

RobynHTV said...

Sorry, the ruckus you hear probably isn't your kids - I'm willing to bet you can hear my kids from there. :) Thanks for being here!

RobynHTV said...

I took care of it, honey - what do you think happened to our turkey baster?!?

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

Get some ice on that eyeball. And get a welder's mask. And ear plugs. You definitely need ear plugs. Ellen

RobynHTV said...

That's no joke! Do you think I could sleep in chainmail? Because my spleen takes a beating, too.

Unknown said...

Looks like great fun! Will try and visit some of the posts!

RobynHTV said...

You're in for a treat - these linkups really are fun! :)

Kathy at kissing the frog said...

The last two hours of your day sound exactly like mine. Baby went to sleep at about nine, as well as I, and I laid him down at 9:30, only to have him wake up less than an hour later. Now he's sleeping on me, making it difficult to write what I had planned. I'm glad you can find the humor in it though.

RobynHTV said...

It's the kind if humor you grit your teeth through ;)

TNMom said...

Who in the hell would send you hate mail?? Douche bags!
I LOVE: wheneverthehellshefeelslikeit !!
Funny stuff! <3 Devan

RobynHTV said...

That's a valid clock time, as you well know. I really don't get much hate mail, except for on my old posts about hating Lifetouch photography. People feel surprisingly strongly about that crap for some reason. ;)

Sorry kid, your mom doesn't play well with others said...

Sounds about right for a snow day...or any day for that matter! You? Hate mail? Maybe your email is one letter off from a ****** (insert democrat/republican of your choice). I read your stuff pretty frequently and haven't seen anything offensive, but at the same time someone could post a picture of a puppy in a superman costume and ruffle some feathers..

RobynHTV said...

You just never know - I think no matter WHAT you post on the Internet, *somebody* will find a reason to get mad about it. ;) Super Puppy *especially.*

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