Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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As The Dollhouse Turns: Dinner Time

Dinner Is Served - Sort Of

As darkness falls outside, Sunny heaves a sigh of relief. It's been a long day - the baby got shots at the doctor's office, she politely sat through a two-hour pitch from a traveling vacuum salesman, she lost her internet connection just when she was about to Facebook about how annoying the salesman was, and on top of everything else, the school had an early release day.

But all that's behind her now. She sits down to reward herself for a long day's work with a little "liquid snack," when the family suddenly joins her at the table.

What do these clowns want?  she wonders.

She glances nervously at her wine, but then relaxes. She knows it can't be an intervention. That would require Buzz to organize a family activity without her help.

They stare at her expectantly. Someone's stomach growls.

At this point, Sunny realizes she forgot to make dinner.

She forces a smile. "Of course, dinner! Let me go get it."

In the kitchen, she pokes her head in the fridge and starts opening Tupperware, looking for leftovers she can toss in the microwave. "Hmm, there's not enough of that to feed everyone. No, the kids wouldn't touch this the first  time I served it, let alone reheated. Eww, I don't even know what that is!" By the time Chenille walks in, she's resorted to shuffling through her collection of carry-out menus and expired fast food coupons.

No, I'm not eating cookies back here
while I look for something to feed you.

"Mommy, Daddy wants to know what's taking so long."

Sunny scowls. "Tell him to hold his horses - he's welcome to make his own dinner any damn day," she grumbles.


"I said, 'Tell him, of course his wholesome dinner is on the way!'"

A few minutes later, Sunny emerges from the kitchen.

"Good news, everyone," she announces with artificial glee. "We're doing something special tonight - breakfast for dinner!" She places a bowl of cereal in front of each member of her family.

The girls squeal with delight and dig right into their bowls of Krack-Koated Kandy Bomb cereal. On Buzz's side of the table, however, the meal is met with silence and disbelief.

"Um, I thought we could have a nice pot roast tonight, honey. What about that? Can't you whip that up real quick?" Buzz asks.

Sunny speaks slowly, through clenched teeth. "I suggest you drum up some enthusiasm, honey,  because right now," she jabs her spoon in the direction of his bowl, "this is happening." 


Maybe it's the tone of her voice, or maybe it's the murderous look in her eyes, but Buzz finally seems to catch on. "Oh, yeah, this is great, right girls?" he backpedals quickly.

Sunny smiles and almost sits down, thinking the light at the end of this tunnel of a day might have reappeared - but before her khaki pockets can meet the seat of her chair, Chiffon flips her bowl upside-down, spilling milk and cereal bits all over the floor, then Chenille, having consumed two spoonfuls of food, declares, "I'm full. What's for dessert?" and Charmeuse starts yelling about how the baby's milk has absolutely ruined her new favorite butterfly t-shirt.

Sunny isn't sure if she's going to laugh, cry, or run screaming from the room. She looks pleadingly at Buzz, who instinctively starts sopping up milk with his napkin. Then, for the win, he says those words that every woman longs to hear at the end of a tough day.

"Can I pour you more wine, dear?"

More real-life dollhouse drama next time - until then, please feel free to catch up on previous episodes of As The Dollhouse Turns. Then please click the Top Mommy Blogs banner below, while I check the Grape Nuts I have simmering in the crock pot.
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Anonymous said...

Are you sure this wasn't from "How ROBYN'S House Turns"?

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I used to be a huge fan of KKK Bomb cereal until I found out they supported the wrong side of one obvious issue. Of course I'm talking about the North American Free Trade Agreement.

RobynHTV said...

Ha! My husband does all the cooking - every time I enter the kitchen, something burns and something else boils over. The wine part is totally autobiographical, though. :)

RobynHTV said...

Naturally! There WAS another K in the name of the product, but about two hours before the post published I found out that particular cereal company was going to put an ad at the top of the post, so I took the company's name out because, even though it was a coincidence, it felt like I'd accidentally written a sponsored post. I mean, I'm a sell out and everything, but if I'm going to sell out, I want to at least be compensated for it.

The Third Partier said...

Man, it's a good thing you clarified that point. A reeeeeeal good thing.

I love the pic of Sunny peeping over the fridge door. That totally looks like you sneaking cookies in the dining room.

BadParentingMoments said...

"What do these clowns want?" Still giggling. But, seriously, what DO they want? (pours another glass of wine and air cheers in Sunny's general direction). We have B for D once a week here because I'm terrible.....ly awesome.

The Third Partier said...

As if we *pour* wine around here. "Sunny" usually walks around with a box of Franzia strapped to her back with a long flexi-straw clipped to her hoodie.

That alone should be enough to clue people in to the fact that ATDT episodes are rarely autobiographical in nature.

RobynHTV said...

Oh yeah, I forgot, eating cookies that I don't want to share with the kids is also autobiographical.

And of COURSE I gave you credit for cooking! If I make you mad, I'll starve to death.

RobynHTV said...

You sure are! That's just smart mothering - most cereals these days are marked right on the front with the fiber and vitamajiggy requirements they fulfill. With fresh meats and produce - who knows? I'm suspicious of foods without nutrition labels.

RobynHTV said...

I'm going to need you to construct me one of these wine backpacks. Stat.

Kristy said...

This is awesome!! I can so relate to that first paragraph! Haha! Fortunately, cooking is probably the one thing I am able to manage most days, but getting both of them to always eat it is another matter. :/ Breakfast for dinner sounds like a great idea! :)

RobynHTV said...

I hear you on that one - the more people you have, the fewer things you can serve without somebody complaining. We actually had pancakes for dinner tonight - and nachos. Because people can't even agree on which kind of garbage to have for dinner. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

Unknown said...

OMG, you are hilarious! I especially love the names.

My husband has become mighty insistent that I have a glass of wine every night. I guess I'm more tolerable this way. :)

TNMom said...

LOL!! Mmmmm, liquid snack, it's what's for dinner, when are the rest of these people gonna catch on??? <3 Devan

RobynHTV said...

Or maybe you just have him properly conditioned? ;)

RobynHTV said...

I don't know! I'd even be willing to pour some grape juice for the kids - that's like making TWO meals!

Kristy said...

Either you're too accommodating, or I'm too mean, haha! My one rule is that I make one dinner. If they can't find at least one part of it that they'll eat, well, then they starve. :)

RobynHTV said...

No, I think you're spot on - I don't think we've EVER had two dinners before, and the kids got at least 50 warnings not to expect it again! ;)

Kathy at kissing the frog said...

Ahh, so Buzz has some redeeming qualities after all!

RobynHTV said...

Or maybe he was drinking, too. ;)

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