Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Invitation From A Naked Girl In A Dress

If you know me, then you're already aware that I'm not generally fit for social interaction.

If you happen to be new here, suffice it to say that I really should not, under any circumstances, go out in public.

That's why the introwebz is perfect for me; no one wants me to come over to their real house because I never know what to talk about and I end up making inappropriate snarky comments, and also I don't get to shower as often as I'd like.  But none of that matters on the webz, so occasionally someone will invite me over to their blog, where my odor is inconsequential and they can safely delete me if I start to get rambly or stupid.

I'm really extra special deluxe excited today, because I've been invited by Kelly Sajonia to guest post on her blog, Naked Girl in a Dress.  This is serious, guys.  Kelly actually teaches classes about blogging, and she's a community leader at Studio30Plus, the writers' community I told you about back when (due to a computer malfunction, no doubt) they featured me for a day.

I was going to squee when Kelly emailed me, but my excitement got stuck in a big lump of nervous in my throat.

At Naked Girl in a Dress, Kelly is all about being insightful and inspiring, so I'm going to try my best not to use words like "craptastic" or write really terrible imagery like the pile of garbage in that last sentence about nervous lumps.  But then on the other hand, Kelly is really supportive and cool, so she'd probably encourage me to craptastic it up, i.e. be myself.

That's why I decided to share my tips on preserving a happy marriage without doing any real work.  You see, a marriage is like a car (just go with it).  If you start out with a good one, take care of it and keep up the maintenance, you're not going to have to rebuild the transmission or buff the chassis or whatever else you do to cars when they're broken and neglected and up on blocks in your front yard with tangled weeds growing through the rusty holes in the floorboards.

You don't want rusty holes in the undercarriage of your relationship, do you?  Then please, check out my guest post, and I promise not to wax poetic about cars anymore.

If you're visiting here from Kelly's blog or elsewhere in the interworld, welcome!  Please feel free to prop your feet up on the coffee table and check out some of HTV's popular posts.  (Seriously, please click.  As horridly unprofessional as the page looks, it took me about five hours to hack Blogger and get it to work, assuming that it does actually work; you'd really make my day if you just peeked at it so I didn't feel quite so much like I should've used those five hours for something useful, like crocheting a macrame purse.)

And, if you happen to like what you read, I'd love it if you clicked the Top Mommy Blog banner below to vote.  Or, if you hate what you read, you're welcome to bang your forehead against the banner in frustration; as long as you have a touch screen, it's all the same to me.  And if you haven't read it yet, don't forget to check out my guest post at Kelly's place, where I discuss how to fine-tune a marriage and probably horrify her regular readers.

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I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Marian said...

So I tried to be polite and comment on Kelly's page, but her page appears to hate me.

I think I could be sure of my husband's love for me if he brought home a pint of Ben & Jerry's for me. Could you e-mail him and ask him to do that for me? He doesn't text, even when we're sitting right next to each other on the couch.

RobynHTV said...

Your comment eventually came through over there, but you know I love comments here, too! I believe my advice at Kelly's place was along the lines of passing your husband a "Do you love me? Check one: yes or no" note (old school!), or you could be more direct: "Will you get me some ice cream? Check one: yes or yes."

The Third Partier said...

Are you trying to tell me you want ice cream?

RobynHTV said...

Hmmm, well I'm not opposed to ice cream... for now...

Note: I tell my husband not to get ice cream at the store because I don't want to be tempted to eat it, then I complain at 11pm that I'm craving it but we don't have any. He never knows if we're supposed to have ice cream in the house or not. This is another excellent marriage tip, called "keeping him on his toes."

Marian said...

THAT is what my husband does to me.
10:00 a.m. "Don't bring any junk into this house!"
10:00 p.m. "Why isn't there any junk in this house?"
It's good for adding spice to the marriage.

RobynHTV said...


Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

I never know with these kind of things if I'm supposed to comment here or over at the guest post blog so I decided to do both and then go eat some ice cream.

And FYI, this is the comment I'm leaving here.

Jen said...

Read your post on Kelly's blog. I wrote a post much like that a couple of years ago for a friend who had just gotten engaged. Much the same advice but I added in "compromise." It means watching Sportscenter when you don't want to and your husband putting up with far too many throw pillows. Men hate throw pillows.

RobynHTV said...

As usual with your comments, I feel like I should be taking notes.

I believe the proper response is to leave a comment on both blogs, and then send me a pile of cash. As an alternative, you could send the cash first.

RobynHTV said...

Great minds think alike! I love your "compromise" tip - except I have to find something else for Gerry to put up with besides throw pillows. I can't have throw pillows without getting grossed out by people using them to prop their feet up. ;)

BreeBree said...

Howdy, just wanted to fill you in on the gossip that you made the front page of my blog under my favorite blogs. Congrats! :D


RobynHTV said...

Well, thank you so much - that's such an awesome surprise! :D

Unknown said...

Robyn, seriously. Are you writing a book? If not, you should be. Your guest post and everything else you write is hilarious. I'm studying your writing because I want to be just like you...with my own voice of course. Can I do that?

RobynHTV said...

I'm afraid you won't have time for that, because I love you and I'm going to scoop you up and keep you in my pocket so you can whisper nice things in my ear whenever my self-esteem meter dips toward "E" which is always.

You just reminded me tat I DID start writing a book a zillion years ago, but it makes my toes curl up and I do a full-body cringe whenever I try to read it - it's that terrible. I should publish parts of it here, just because it's accidentally the funniest thing I've ever written.

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