Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Happy Memorial Day, and an Announcement

Don't worry, this is going to hurt me
more than it's going to hurt you.

Happy Memorial Day, all you American-types out there (and happy regular-old-Monday to those of you tuning in from non-America places).  Some of you may be aware that this is the day when we, as a country, honor the men and women who fought in the United States Armed Forces and paid the ultimate price for the many freedoms we enjoy.

Mere words of thanks for such a sacrifice are doomed to fall short of fully expressing the depth of the sentiment which inspired them.  However, though I know a few clumsy syllables are by far an inadequate repayment, I would like to convey my gratitude for the fallen heroes we commemorate today, and for their families as well, who also paid dearly for the protection and betterment of our great country.

Arlington National Cemetery (source)

And though I mean those words with all my patriotic heart, two paragraphs is apparently my upper limit on writing without cracking a stupid joke.

So... ::moment of silence::... Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'd like to move on and whip up a quick list of American Freedoms and Rights and Stuff For Which I Am Grateful.

American Freedoms and Rights and Stuff For Which I Am Grateful
(title brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department)
  1. I'm grateful for the abundance of food, and quality goods, and non-quality late-night informercial goods, and really-good-deal-until-the-last-second-when-somebody-outbids-you eBay goods, and goods that look way better online than in person and are sold by some super-creep on CraigsList goods - all available for purchase with the click of a button or after a short ride in the car, and speaking of cars I'm grateful for those too.  Especially when the AC works.
  2. I'm grateful for the right to buy as much of that stuff as I can afford - or even more  than I can afford sometimes (thank you, VISA).
  3. I'm thankful for a home, and the right to fill it to the brim with all my precious, precious junk.
  4. I'm grateful for the freedom to watch Hoarders: Buried Alive  and the people selling stuff on American Pickers,  and to judge them for their gluttony from atop my mountain of unused ShamWows, secondhand Precious Moments figurines, and retro Atari video game system which doesn't work but is positively drooling sentimental value.
  5. I also appreciate shows such as Pawn Stars  and Antiques Roadshow,  for giving me hope that my junk might be worth something and therefore providing an excuse to keep it all forevahhh.
Hmm, I really didn't intend for that list to have a theme, but there you go.  I must be getting sick of my junk.  Or extra-loving it.  Even I  can't tell.  Maybe it's because one of our Nationally-Agreed-Upon Expressions of Appreciation on Memorial Day (other than grilling nauseating amounts of meat) is to have Giant Close-Out Sales on everything from furniture polish to Chevrolets.  Those ads get inside your head after a while.

Anyhow, the other America-related thing I wanted to tell you was that we have a super-patriotic announcement to make, and no, I'm not pregnant and a pox on you for even thinking that.  No, this is about the husband.  Remember him?  He's the guy who inspired this.

We can't help ourselves.

He also inspired an unshakable fear that I'm going to be strangled in my sleep by a murderous marionette, a fear that was in no way alleviated by his behavior the other night when he crawled up silently beside the bed and crouched there until I noticed a blurry hulking figure peering at me from the edge of the bed with my nearsighted eyeballs, and I burst several capillaries in my face from suppressing a scream, because my top priority (above and beyond not being killed by the creepy crawling killer) was to not wake the baby.

So, you remember him, yes?  Well, forget I said all that stuff about his Fun Side and get Serious, because we're pleased as punch to announce that he's running for office!  Not just any office, either - we figured he'd have a better chance of winning if he went for a specific office, so he's running for Michigan State Representative (can I get a holla from the 78th district)!

Please note: This is an old post. He's not currently running. But feel free to vote for him anyway.

Obviously we're not your typical political team, in that he has never run for office before - but that's part of why he's running.  We need some fresh ideas and non-career-politician types in government, don't you agree?  And don't worry, he's a lot more serious than I am, so please don't get the impression that he'd be up in Lansing doing all the dumb stuff I'd be doing, like accidentally running over bald eagles in the parking lot.  He's actually really, really good at this.  And smart, to boot.

So pretty please, check out Gerry's Facebook page and like it, even if you don't live around here - we could really use the support.  You can also go to Gerry's website, though be forewarned it's a work-in-progress because his Staff Web Designer doesn't know the first thing about making a website, which really slows down the process, and also because she has cramps and ate too much potato salad and is busy writing this post.

Need a reason to click on over?  How about the fact that he continues to support HTV wholeheartedly, even though I'm probably a huge political liability?  Or the fact that there's a family photo on his page that features 8 of my 11 chins, highlighted by my hasty rubber band up-do necessitated by the 198mph winds during our photo shoot?  Or the fact that he's taking care of the baby right now and  he just brought me a sandwich?  Or the fact that he's NOT getting into this to become a career politician, he just really has a sincere desire to make his community a better place.

Thanks, guys - for being here, and for backing us up, and for reading this even though you probably  don't come here for the stimulating political discussions.  MuaaaAAAH!

And here's that damn Click Here To Vote banner, like you haven't done enough for me already!
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Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms said...

What a post! Appreciate the remembrance, the list, and Gerry! Gerry supported me so I'm shooting it right back.
Hope the potato salad blues passes soon Web Designer.


RobynHTV said...

Ellen, you're the best! Thanks so much for the support and the huge smiles (you know that backing you up was his pleasure) (eeek, that doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean). :)

Vanessa said...

Congrats! I did read about this previously, on your husbands own blog. Kind of made me wish you guys were Canadian and all since it really struck me that your husbands words were coming from his heart.

RobynHTV said...

Well thank you, Vanessa - he really is passionate about it, so I'm glad that comes through. :)

just keep swimming said...

I love your sappy Memorial Day side and that you were able to keep it up for two whole paragraphs! If I lived in Michigan, I would vote for Gerry. Instead, I'll cheer him on from the sidelines, cross my fingers for him, and dedicate all blown out birthday candle wishes to hoping he wins the election. Yes we DO need more commonsense in ALL of politics. You guys rock!

Marie Nicole said...

I am a Canadian who holds a Green Card (my most prized possession) who has been in Mexico for a while. I'll tell you one thing, if there is ANYTHING I miss most of the States is the ease of:
1- Finding a prize on the internet (thank you eBay, Zappos, Amazon)
2- Purchasing said prize on the internet (thank you PayPal)
3- Obtaining said prize in less than a week (thank you USPS you cheeky monster of an amazing service)

Good luck to Gerry, and yes, this world needs more non political representatives ; For the People + By the People = LOVE

The Blue Orchid of Texas said...

Actually the ONLY reason I come here is for the stimulating political discussions so it's about time! Gooooooooooo Gerry!!

RobynHTV said...

Thanks so much, Marian - we REALLY appreciate your support! I don't mean to brag on the man, but he has such great ideas that (although it feels weird for me to say as a person who rarely gets fired up about politics and rarely says anything that isn't sarcastic) I know he could make a difference. It's fun taking part in the process, but we wouldn't get anywhere without support like yours!

RobynHTV said...

That's so true - if nothing else, the U.S. has totally streamlined the entire purchasing process. :) Is there anything that gets your heart soaring like the approach of the USPS/UPS/FedEx truck? Thanks for the well-wishes!

RobynHTV said...

You, sir, must be an extremely patient man. Thanks for waiting around - cheers!

Plant Seeds of Happiness said...


Kimberly said...

Soooooo...you're a hoarder of the finer things.
Confession: I love that show and often wonder if those people ever actually get paid that amount for their junk...errrr...beautiful things.
I hope that you enjoyed all the things greasy yesterday.

RobynHTV said...

There are houses for sale in my neighborhood - I'm just sayin'... But if you absolutely can't move, thanks for sending the good vibes - we like those, too. :)

RobynHTV said...

I love that show, too, but it can make me kinda mad sometimes - like when a 200 year old journal written by Abe Licoln and signed by Babe Ruth that's encrusted in the Queen's jewels is worth $4, but then somebody will bring in a painting of a horse's rear that makes me throw up in my mouth a little, and it's worth millions. And in the end it doesn't even matter because they always claim they'd never ever sell it anyway. ::end rant::

Stacey said...

Wow, running for office is like somethig a for real grown-up would do. I wouldn't know anything about that but I'm glad there are people like Gerry who see what's wrong, want to fix it, and start by doing it locally. Very admirable, indeed.

Also, with a few well-placed billboards of Hypno-Baby in your district, they won't even have to count the votes.

RobynHTV said...

Gah, I hadn't even THOUGHT of using the baby yet! That's it, you're the new campaign manager. Don't worry, you don't need to really be a grown up, you just need to be able to play one on TV.

Unknown said...

First, thank you Wife. That was actually kind of touching, and I know that you do not frivolously talk about Serious matters on your blog. It is probably a good way to alienate some of your readers, should they disagree with my politics. But you did it anyway, even though I would never have asked you to. You are THE stuff.

Second, (I just had a freudian typo) Sexond? Anyway, I want to thank any of you who did go check out my pages (that Robyn put together for me because she's awesome), and even those who didn't, because I appreciate your appreciation of my wife's talent.

Third, she's going to be embarrassed by this.

Fourth, I notice that in your assessment of how we are not the typical political team you only cited that I had never run as a reason for the unconventionality, and I was curious as to what YOUR contribution would be to the aytpicality of our political couplehood. Say that five times fast. Ilu

p.s. Those who've commented: It helps to hear from other people who feel the way I do. It makes me feel a little less crazy. Cheers.

RobynHTV said...

Aw, thanks, Husband. :) And yes, I am embarassed, but glad I'm not the only one making up words around here (sexond, I'm willing to bet, will be heard more than once or twice in this house in the future).

I would say I'm an atypical political wife mostly because Jackie O hardly ever blogged about her boobs or tweeted about her baby farting. As far as I know.

p.s. Aren't HTV folks the bestest? Yeah, they are. But YOU are the stuff.

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