Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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March Photo Challenge 11: Someone You Talked To Today

When I came downstairs this morning, these two were already up.  Zoe was watching Scooby Doo, probably an episode she'd already seen eleventy thousand times before, but I wouldn't know because I can't tell the episodes apart (SCOOBY DOO SPOILER ALERT: The Gang arrives someplace groovy, often because their piece of crap van breaks down.   General mood transitions from groovy to slightly creepy by the first commercial break.  Mummy/Ghost Pirate/Frog Man chases The Gang.  Velma says, "Jinkies."  The Gang catches Bad Guy, removes mask, reveals True Identity of monster, sometimes with the help of a Globetrotter.  End scene.  Every time.)  Jake was rearranging the apps on his tablet, or was playing Fruit Ninja, or surfing YouTube for videos of naked Lego ladies, or whatever.  I don't know.  What I do  know is that neither one so much as shifted their eyes slightly to the right to acknowledge that I'd entered the room.

Me:  Good morning, kids!

Kids: ...


Kids: (mumbling)  Good morning...

Me:  Did you sleep well?

Kids:  ...

Me:  Hellllooooooo?  Did you sleeeeep welllllllll?

Kids: (unintelligible)  yeahuh...  grumble... hmmm

Me:  Would you like some breakfast?

Kids: (perking right up)  Yeah, we want WAFFLES!!!!

Me:  (laughing too hard to respond)

Kids: (dejected)  Okay, cereal.

Um, no kids.  Sorry.  When we just had a birthday party yesterday, and you had cheese and crackers and a quarter ton of sugar and adrenaline for dinner, and the baby never took her afternoon nap, then no, I will not be bouncing out of bed at O-Dark-Thirty the next morning to prepare hot waffles with sliced fruit and a drizzle of Vermont maple syrup that I strangled out of a tree myself.  Nice try, though.  I really enjoyed our little chat.

I ended up giving them Cookie Crisp.  There, I admitted it.  I feel a little better.  Please vote for me by clicking below, because obviously we're besties and I'll tell you anything.
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