Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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I Didn't Learn Anything From Giving Birth

Okay, that's not exactly  true.  I learned that it hurts, and that you can burst all the capillaries in your face from pushing, which makes you look sort of like you lost a paintball war to a tiny red paintball team, and I learned stuff about placentas that I'm still too horrified by to discuss here (you're welcome, Dad).

But delivering babies did  make me realize how little I know about delivering babies, since every single time I did it I ended up being surprised, despite my research (e.g., Googling "I'm gonna do WHAT, and it's happening WHERE?") and prior experience.  And, I'm sorry to say, I don't mean "surprised" in a good way; after all, it's hard to be pleasantly  surprised when you're in the middle of an activity equivalent to expelling a bowling ball from your tear duct.

Unfortunately, my ineptitude isn't limited just to bringing kids into this world; it holds true in regard to Parenting In General, as well.  No matter how long I've been doing it, just when I start to feel like I know what I'm doing, Life comes along to prove that I don't actually know much of anything at all.

But since actually delivering the babies is what got me into this whole parenting mess (well, not exactly, but for the sake of simplicity we'll say it is), my track record with birthing remains my go-to reminder of how I should never get too full of myself, thinking I have some kind of clue about being a mom.  Because I don't.

That's the idea behind my guest post today at Sippy Cup Chronicles, "Always Expect To Expect the Unexpected When You're Expecting" (catchy title, no?).  I'm over there sharing my birth stories (minus placenta talk) to illustrate how it doesn't really matter what you read or who you talk to or how much experience you have under your belt (gah, no pun intended - don't be gross) - Parenthood is all about being slapped upside the head by things you never saw coming.  Please take a minute to click on the link to read all about it, and feel free to share any stories about how you were blindsided by childbirth or parenting - or about how you've been totally prepared every step of the way (liar).

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