Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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February Photo Challenge 18, 19, 20, 21

I've been playing a little game I like to call Oh Muhgosh Where Did the Time Go I Am Really Far Behind.

Oh, you know this game?  Good, then I don't need to explain myself.

"What problem?  I don't have a problem.
I can quit eating eggs any time I want."
Let's just say I've been taking my February Photo Challenge pictures in a timely fashion, and then selfishly keeping them all to myself, a byproduct of being distracted by other responsibilities, life and whatnot, not to mention Madeline's troublesome scrambled egg addiction, which has us all quite concerned and also a little disgusted.

PLUS I couldn't think of one, single amusing thing to say about several of the latest Februray photos, which (for me) takes all the fun out of it.

So here they are (and with an introduction like that,  I know you're on the edge of your seat):

18) drink
Yes, having a beer is a relatively rare and special treat when you're trying to produce non-alcoholic beverages with your body for a tiny person who has an equally tiny liver.  I know, I know, they say you can have up to a half gallon of wine a week, or a day, or something, but since I obviously can't keep the guidelines straight I just generally steer clear of it to be on the safe side.  But I did indulge in one the other day, a brew Gerry made himself.  It was yummy.

This is a photo of me celebrating the empty bottle, though it looks like I'm toasting the sun ("Way to shine," I cheer enthusiastically).  If the tree across the street looks oddly symmetrical, that's because I Photoshopped out the ugly house that lives there, but I was pretty lazy with the cloning tool.

19) something you hate to do
These are Zoe's pants.  While Zoe is by all estimations a reasonably coordinated child, she finds time at least once each weekday to locate the filthiest spot on school grounds and fall down onto it.

I don't mind laundry all that much, but I am sick to death of pre-treating and scrubbing the mud and grass out of that girl's clothes.

20) handwriting
This is an example of our grocery list, which we keep on a magnetized notepad that hangs on the side of the fridge.  The children have been instructed to ignore it - not because there's anything bad on it, but because Gerry and I make a game out of misspelling everything on the list, and I don't want them to grow up thinking that it's spelled "pickuhlz," or that their parents didn't graduate from kindergarten.  As you can see, when Gerry's at the store and asks me to text the list to him, sometimes I'll add a sweet little heartfelt message of love, tucked between the reminders to get seereeuhl and baykun.

21) a fave photo of you
Although this challenge involves taking a photo each day, I have to assume they didn't really think that today, of all days, I would not only take another self portrait but that it would also turn out to be the best picture that had ever been taken of me.  Not likely.  So I dug up an old one.

But Robyn,  I hear you say, the picture you've selected here is, quite frankly, godawful.  Do they not sell Chapstick where you live or do you refuse to use it for religious reasons?   Well thanks.  Thanks a lot.   I already know it isn't a great picture, but I appreciate you pointing it out.

I'm sure there are metric tons of one or two photos of me that are at least slightly more flattering than this one.  Let us not overlook that part of the blame is owed to poor photo quality; it was taken on Gerry's cell phone because by the time we got to the hospital I was thinking maybe I'd give birth to Madeline in the car, so our carefully packed hospital bag (with cameras) was left behind in favor of obtaining timely medical attention.  But I like this photo, because behind the dark-rimmed eyes and overall total exhaustion is a woman looking at the guy she loves, holding their brand new baby, blissed out about how complete her family finally felt, and grateful that the labor (unmedicated against her will) was finally over and hadn't (despite her predictions) resulted in her own untimely demise or that of everyone around her.  It was a good day.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Jen O. said...

Mispelling your grocery list is the most hilarious thing I've heard. I looked at the picture first before reading the explanation, and I was all "Uh...stay in school, kids."

RobynHTV said...

Jen O., yeah it's pretty bad. There've been times I've dropped it while I was at the grocery and spent the rest of the shopping trip just hoping no one would find it and (gahhh) give it back to me.

Stacey said...

You have a cloning tool??! Do the science people know this? Assuming there are science people, of course.

Yeah, that grocery list is pretty cool.

The Third Partier said...

uh, babe... i can't help but notice that "taco seasoning" is not misspelled for some reason. unless it's supposed to say "bread crumbs" or "chocolatey chips." then, it is indeed misspelled, but will be difficult for me to decipher. try to stick to more phonetic misspelling.

i love you, too. that was indeed a Good Day. :)

RobynHTV said...

Tumbleweed, it wouldn't matter - the science people stopped taking my calls a long time ago. ;)

RobynHTV said...

3rd party, as you may recall, taco seasoning itself was a joke when I added it to the list, because you knew full well that I'd accidentally asked you to get it on the last eleventy trips and so we already had enough taco seasoning to last us through the end of days. I thought misspelling it too would just be over the top. :P

ParkerMama said...

Often if I can't remember how to spell a word, I'll abbreviate it. Then I get to the store and can't remember what the abbreviation stands for.

I'm awesome like that.

Tammy and Parker

RobynHTV said...

HA, ParkerMama! I do that too - and it isn't limited to just grocery lists. Sometimes I'll write a reminder on my hand, but there's only so much room so I keep it down to a few letters. Once I got home from work and I was all, "MTG? What's that? I don't remember any meeting I'm supposed to go to." A few days later I remembered - I hadn't paid the mortgage.

Little Miss Alaska said...

I love your grocery list! Bahaha. I'm going to do that when I send the hubs to the store :) ... What a fun way to make not-so-fun errands bearable!

RobynHTV said...

We like to think so, Tory! I enjoy picturing him standing in the soup aisle trying to sound things out; I'm sure other shoppers just assume he can't read. :P

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