Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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(Editor's note:  Before we get started, I'd like to thank you for hanging in there with me while I vented yesterday about my issues with photo editing and my new arch nemesis, Goofle.  I'm happy to report that I am indeed now a computer genius of dizzying intellect, by which I mean that I have absolutely no idea how I got my "solution" to work, nor am I positive I can get it to work on a regular basis in the future.  To test things out, I added to yesterday's post that visual aid I mentioned that describes my various talents, since I couldn't do it earlier; I don't think the breakdown depicted in the chart will surprise you.  So hopefully my storage, if not editing, issues may be resolved - unless you open this post and there are no images there, in which case I guess it's back to the drawing board.)

I think we can all agree that Maddie is typically a very happy baby.  And if you don't know her personally, go ahead and trust me on this one.

"It's true, I'm extremely well-adjusted and carefree."

However, at a still-very-clingy nine months old, she reserves the right to fly into hysterics at any given moment if she
  1. doesn't get her way,
  2. gets even the slightest sneaking suspicion that someone other than Gerry or myself might try to hold her, or
  3. remembers some time in the past when she didn't get her way or someone tried to hold her
For this purpose, Maddie often keeps one pathetic little tear perched on the edge of her lower lid, loaded and ready to go in the event she needs to get some Emergency Sympathy.

Actually, of course I really have no idea why that tear is always there - I think sometimes it's just because the sun is a little too bright, or because Gerry made her laugh so hard she snorted.  But if you ask me, it's more fun to imagine what she might be thinking about if she were  on the verge of a Mini Breakdown...

"What?  Did you just call me chubby?"
"I had a nightmare that you found some way
to keep socks on my feet for more than 2 seconds."
"Mommy, don't look now but there's a little old lady
about eight blocks away who's probably gonna want to touch my face."
"You do  realize that you've made me miss
Ice Road Truckers, right?"

"Remember that time Mommy tried to have a minute
to herself to take a shower?  She should be ashamed."

"How many times have I told you not to
photograph me in this terrible light?"

"Joanie and Chachi's wedding was just so... magical."
"Dear Lord, are we going outside again?"

"Tell me the truth - is that cat sneaking up behind me?"

"I have to eat solid foods, you say?  Oh, I disagree."

Who knows, I'm probably WAY off.  But it's possible  that's what she's thinking.  I mean, who doesn't tear up when they miss Ice Road Truckers?

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Anonymous said...

Congrats on your tech savvy. Now you'll have to make fewer snarky comments so you can increase the computing piece in your pie chart. Aunt Kris

The Third Partier said...


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