Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Video Evidence

Zoe is turning out to be a great reader - however, she's an ambitious child who often tries to read outside her ability range, as evidenced by the fact that, when given permission to choose anything she wanted at the used book store, she selected Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul (please note, she's 6 years old).

Right now she's into a chapter book about the tooth fairy, and she looooooves to "read" it to people, which really means that she looks at the pages and makes up the story as she goes along.  She likes to pretend to read almost as much as she likes to actually  read - she'll pretend your ear off, if you let her.  Sometimes it doesn't even make sense, but she'll just keep right on rambling in her reading voice.  Last night I got some video; here are some quotes and stills from her story - be forewarned, it's a little confusing, partly because all the characters seem to be named Joey.

"I do not want to play with Joey's."
"But you have  to.  Remember a deal... when... we got back, it was like, 'Joey, once it gets old, you have to play with the... with Joey's  kitchen when it gets old.  Not mine.'  And you said, 'YES, COMMANDER.'  You're probably still into that Toy Story movie, and your favorite person... well, a lot of people."
Zoe nods, very serious.
"But the tooth fairy's coming!  I want to play with yours!"
"But you're just going to make mine all busted up, like Joey's is.  That's why she never plays with it.  Because you busted it up, and ruined it.  With SLOBBER."

You can see she really enunciated the word "slobber."  That could be because, at about this time, the baby on my lap woke up and was very interested in grabbing and eating the camera.

"But, but - I didn't learn how to not  slobber," she said.
 After some thought and some page turning, the story got back around to the tooth fairy.
She made another note to the tooth fairy and said, "I have no idea who you are or what you wear, but...  P.S. This is a short note.  P.S. again - I am losing a tooth.  And my baby brother... [whispers] is weird."

Then she couldn't decide what happens next, so to buy some time she pretended to study the page as if she couldn't figure out what it said, while she quickly made something up.

Just as Madeline began nearly digesting the camera...

...Zoe continued, but there wasn't any good video for a few minutes, as the lens was fogged up with baby breath.
Chapter Nine.  This is funny.  So she told the tooth fairy, "But I want some money."  And the tooth fairy said, "You can't have any money, but I'll give you... this milliondy dollar ribbon."  So the kid said, "But I don't want a ribbon, because we can't take ribbons to school, because... it's a rule.  But we can take money, so I want some money.  But not the clangy... loud money, only paper.  Because the other kind is too loud, so we can't take it to school."  And she kept singing all the way to California - but she lived in America!  She sang, "Lalala, my legs are tired, lalala."
As you can imagine, this went on for some time - the video is ten minutes long, and I only recorded a fraction of her performance.  Finally, when Zoe was way off on a tangent about ant hotels, and Maddie started to get so wild that even her feet were getting in the shot...

 ...I said to Zoe, "I'm starting to think maybe you're not really reading anymore.  Is all of that really in the story?"

Zoe paused for a looooong time.  Finally she said with a laugh, "Naw, I'm just makin' stuff up."

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