Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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That's My Girl

Zoe has a funny way of spinning a situation with her little-girl reasoning to get what she wants (or to avoid what she doesn't want).  However, I have to preface the up-coming illustration of that point by reassuring you that our house is NOT infested with spiders.  It's purely coincidence that this will be blog post #2 about a spider being on the premises.  Plus, I have my doubts about whether or not this spider was even real, as it was playing a big role in Zoe's excuse not to clean her room.

Anyway, Z absolutely hates to clean her room.  On more than one occasion I've threatened to bring in a trash bag and toss out every last toy that was touching the floor.  But without getting a single feather ruffled, she briefly weighs which she enjoys more, playing with toys or not  cleaning her room, and says, "I'll probably get more toys someday."  (And yes, once I had to round up all the toys in a trash bag, a sight that would have thrown any other child into a panic.  Zoe, on the other hand, crawled into bed and took a nap.)

So when I saw her bedroom door closed one morning I had to wonder how deep the piles of toys had gotten, and we had the following conversation.

Me: Hey Zo, why's your door closed?

Zoe (wide-eyed): To keep the spider in there.

Me: Spider?

Zoe: Yeah.  It's like this big.

She holds her fingers as far apart as they'll go, grimacing as if willing her fingers to stretch even wider.  She looks from me to the improbable spider-size estimation she has on display and back to me, as if trying to figure out if I'm buying her story.  Uh-huh, right.  I don't know WHERE she learned to exaggerate like this.  I start to walk toward her room and she follows.  I open the door.

Me: Where's the spider?

Zoe (pretending to look): The worst thing about it is, it's exactly the color of my carpet.

Me: That should be no problem - I can't even see your carpet.  Where did you see this spider?

Zoe: We heard him behind the kitchen.

She points to her large play kitchen in the corner.  Now, Zoe has a habit of almost  using the right word, so I was assuming she didn't mean "heard."  Like, one time she said, "Maddie realizes me, " instead of "recognizes," or, "That kid looks similar," instead of "familiar," or, "They're doing mouth to mouth precipitation," when she saw people kissing on TV.

Me: You heard  it behind your kitchen?

Zoe (recognizing that I was prompting her to correct herself, but unsure about what she should change): We hear-ded it.  We hear-ded it walking over some papers.

That's right, she was sticking to her story - she could hear it walking from across the room.  That's one big spider, stomping around, overturning dollhouse furniture and crushing Matchbox cars underfoot.

Me: Well, he's gone now.  We should probably straighten up your room, though.

Zoe (wide-eyed again): But what if I find him while I'm cleaning????

I know my daughter, and she was more horrified by the idea of cleaning her room than the possibility of seeing a spider.

Me: He's long gone.  He doesn't have any reason to hang out in here.  Besides, what are you going to do, board up your room and never come back in?

Zoe:  No.  [long pause]  He might die someday.

Perfect!  She's not going to abandon her room FOREVER, just until the spider dies.  In the meantime, she has absolutely no concern whatsoever about not having access to her clothes or toys, or not having anywhere to sleep.  I like the carefree way she's thinking, so I'm going to follow suit.  I'm burying my wallet in the back yard until the economy perks up, locking up my closet until I can fit into my size 6 jeans again, and putting tape over the gas gauge in my car until prices come down at the pump.  I'll let you know how that works out.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Sperry said...

Hahaha! She's got potential greatness in her! I was the same way so much so that when I actually did clean my room my parents took commemorative pictures...

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