Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Photo Collage Friday

Here's a random, photo collage recap of the week:

  • This week I'm afraid it might be time to bid a sad farewell to fall, and if you know much about botany (that's nerd-talk for "plants") you can tell a lot about the changing of the seasons by studying the trees.  At the beginning of October, trees are still all green and lush.  This is what scientists call the It Still Appears To Be Summer When You Look Out the Window But It's Chillier Outside Than You Think phase.  Within a few days, most of the trees have burst into full technicolor, which is breathtakingly beautiful and lasts for exactly five minutes.

Then there are approximately two days of the Bare Branches Against Bright Blue Sky phase, which is also pretty; these are the two days during which you'd better go through a corn maze and take a hay ride if you plan on doing it, because it is closely followed by our next stage, which is called Wet and Creepy Branches Against a Bleak Gray Sky. This stage is perfect for Halloween, but unfortunately Halloween is only one night, whereas this stage in the progression of seasons lasts for two months, or until there is such a thick coating of ice on the trees that all the branches break off, whichever comes first.
  • I was made painfully aware of my age this morning when I told my kids that "I pity the fool," and was greeted by blank stares.  That's right, my kids have no idea who Mr. T is.  What is this world coming to?
  • I posted a few days ago about our trip to the orchard where we got our pumpkins and carved 'em up.  However, I had forgotten to take pics of the kids' finished Jack-o-lanterns; I'm glad that I did take a picture right after that, because despite Gerry's efforts to spray them with preservative, as of this morning they're more mold than pumpkin.

Ummm, gross.  So much for that preservative.
  • Jake gets pretty excited about taking pictures these days.  He borrowed my camera and took these pics of his Lego knights.  I've added their actual dialogue.
  • Occasionally Gerry nags me enough so that I prepare him a bottle for him to feed Maddie.  We found out this week that she can hold it herself now!

Okay, so who needs us?  It looks like she can take it from here - we're going on vacation.  Please note that in these pictures she's wearing a onesie that says, "Sorry ladies, my Daddy is taken."  I love that - it makes me snicker every time she wears it.  My sisters-and-mom-in-law threw me a baby shower, and for one of the activities each guest decorated a onesie.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.  They're so cute, and we ended up with a billion onesies.
Note:  There's supposed to be an adorable photo here of a billion onesies hanging on a clothesline, but my computer's being dumb, and I'm even dumber when it comes to making computers stop being dumb, so you'll have to use your imagination.
  •  Walking to school the other day, Jake said he was going to ask Santa for teleportation powers (I believe he may be getting tired of walking to school).  Hopeful, he said, "Santa gave me what I asked for last year!"  My mom and I shot each other the quick "yikes" look.  In a stroke of genius, she reasoned, "But if Santa had teleportation powers, wouldn't he use them himself?"  She and I attempted to plant the seed that Santa and his reindeer must get exhausted, going from house to house, landing delicately on each roof, so if he had the ability to teleport he'd probably be using it.

That's when Zoe, the Leading Authority on Whatever Happens to Come Up in Conversation, chimed in.  She informed us that the reindeer don't get tired because they can fly (which apparently doesn't fatigue them), and because (and here's where I learned something) the sleigh actually lands on the ground, and then Santa rides on the back of one reindeer to get up to the rooftop.  So Santa doesn't get tired either!  Curious, my mom asked, "So, does he ride a different one each time he lands, or is it always the same one?"  It seemed like a good question to me, but Zoe said, "I  don't know," as if it were completely ridiculous for us to expect her to be able to tell the reindeer apart.

The upshot was that the kids weren't buying our story about Santa not being able to provide super powers as a holiday gift.  So I guess for now I should appreciate the oncoming Wet and Creepy Branches Against a Bleak Gray Sky season, since it looks like I have some issues to deal with, come Christmastime.  Chief among them will be sorting out how to wrap teleportation powers.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


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