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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The Ultimate Automated Dial-In Menu For Moms

Motherhood can be hard, but this hilarious dial-in menu for moms can help you deal with all those kids' pesky problems and crazy complaints. Too funny—you'll LOL at number 6!


As much as I hate getting stuck on the phone with a robotic voice every time I try to call the cable company, I understand why it’s a necessary evil. I mean, they can’t possibly have a real person field millions of random requests and complaints 24 hours a day!

Hmmm…. who else does that? Oh right! Moms.

Wouldn’t it be nice if moms could set up our own automated menu to sort through the constant demands from our kids? To decide which ones are legitimate requests in need of real live help and which ones can be answered just as easily by a robot?

HERE’S WHAT IT WOULD SOUND LIKE:

Ring, ring, ring…

Thank you for calling your mother. Your call is very important to me…unless I haven’t had coffee yet, in which case back away slowly and try your call again later. I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, but considering I’m probably busy cleaning your pee off the bathroom floor or washing the laundry you crammed between your bed and the wall, I’m doing the best I can. Please listen carefully to the following menu; your issue will be resolved in the order in which it was received, provided no one drops the phone in the toilet before then.

If you want mac and cheese, press 1.

If you want mac and cheese but I’ve basically ruined your life by serving it to you in the wrong bowl, please press 1 really hard and hold it down until I get you a new bowl or go insane, whichever comes first.

Check out the rest on Mommy Shorts!

Motherhood can be hard, but this hilarious dial-in menu for moms can help you deal with all those kids' pesky problems and crazy complaints. Too funny—you'll LOL at number 6!



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