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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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A Realistic Guide to That Box of Chocolates

I'm one of those women who tells her husband every year that she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day - and I mean it. It's not a trap or a test to see if he really loves me enough to plunge us into massive credit card debt for a diamond tennis bracelet I'll never wear. I don't need a little red dust-collecting bear holding a puffy heart that cleverly declares, "I love you BEAR-Y much," and watching $50 worth of roses wilt and die on my kitchen counter over the course of several agonizing days never struck me as particularly romantic, either.

In fact, I would be completely fine with skipping the holiday entirely.

If it weren't for the chocolate.

Sure, samplers look beautiful and filled with possibility, but as Forrest Gump famously said, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” There’s usually a chart meant to be useful inside, but with descriptions like “Truffled Artisan Ganache” and “Roman Nougat Whip” you still have no idea what’s coming your way when you take a bite.

That’s why I created a helpful chocolate box guide with real descriptions of the chocolates you always find inside. You can send me a bar of chocolate to thank me on Valentine’s Day.

Real Guide to What's Inside Your Box of Chocolates by Robyn Welling on Mommy Shorts



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