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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Honest Advertising Slogans For Moms

'Tis the season to go shopping, fa la lalala lala lala!

Well, that's not really what the season is for, but YOU'D NEVER KNOW IT based on the number of commercials, slogans and taglines bombarding us constantly, especially this time of year. The very least these stores could do is be honest, so we'd know what to really expect at all the places we'll stop, in person or online, during our holiday shopping travels.



Toys R Us: It's an all-toy Costco, without the low prices!

Game Stop: The store that makes you wish your kids still only wanted stuff from Toys R Us.

Target: Come for the everything, stay for the Starbucks.

Wal-Mart: What, Target didn't have what you were looking for?

Lowes: Your disguising-a-chore-as-a-gift headquarters!

Kohl's: Come in to use up your $10 Kohl's Cash, spend $50 to earn $10 in Kohl's Cash.

Bed, Bath and Beyond: The "that thing your SIL wants" store.

Best Buy: When you're out of other ideas, get a gigantic TV!

Apple Store: A big wallet suck for your biggest time suck.

Yankee Candle: For when you care enough to say, "Here's a candle."

Claire's: Yes, we still have the same scrunchies we stocked when you were 12!

Victoria's Secret: He says it's for you, but we all know who it's really for.

Things Remembered: Your #1 source for last-minute engraved pen sets!

Jared: The "I'm just looking" store.

Forever 21: The fastest way to feel twice your age.

Hickory Farms: Nothing says "Happy holidays!" like mall kiosk sausage.

Sephora: Because if you're doing all the holiday shopping, you deserve a little something.

J.C. Penney: We're so much more than polyester pants now! (We're also pleated polyester pants.)

Radio Shack: Batteries! And probably some other stuff.

And then there's always...

The Mall: Where there's something for everyone! Too bad you can't afford any of it.

The Food Court: Because at the mall, a giant pretzel counts as lunch.


So, where will you be shopping this season—and what should their slogan have been?

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


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