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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Rules For Being a Kid

If your kids are anything like mine, they're in some kind of huge hurry to grow up.

In the spirit of full disclosure and responsible parenting I try to warn them how much being a grown-up sucks, but they don't listen. They see adulthood as a homework-free zone littered with pizza delivery boxes, where free credit cards rain down from the heavens and all your problems are solved by the fact that you have a driver's license. To them, adulthood is a golden path to freedom from all these pesky rules I make up about bedtimes and broccoli.

Of course, they're looking at it all wrong.

While kids rankle at the idea of being subjected to the rules of childhood, scarcely an adult on earth wouldn't jump at the chance to swap places.

And they wouldn't do it just to avoid heavy responsibilities like paying taxes or finally deciding, once and for all, whether the upstairs bathroom should be Glacier Blue or Polar Sky so they can stop staring at those test swatches they painted on the wall two years ago every time they sit down to pee. Nor would grown-ups re-do childhood just to take advantage of their parents' rules, although I certainly wouldn't mind someone making me dinner with a salad and then telling me to go to bed at 8:30.

No, adults would trade places with their children because they know that, whether they realize it or not, kids have their own rules - and adults remember that their rules for being a kid totally rocked.

These were Neighborhood Rules. Clubhouse Rules. Unspoken but fiercely upheld, each person's rules for being a kid define their childhood in ways that boring old bedtime rules never could. I sure remember mine - can you relate?

  • Tires are for swinging.
  • Blankets are for making forts.
  • All financial concerns can be addressed with a lemonade stand.
  • All heebie jeebies can be addressed with a nightlight.
  • The biggest splash wins.
  • There is no such thing as an inappropriate time to be naked.
  • There is no such thing as an inappropriate place to wear dress-up clothes.
  • The floor is lava.
  • The bed is a trampoline.
  • Mirrors are only to be used to watch yourself sing into a hairbrush.
  • Swimming = Bath
  • Mail with money in it is probably mine.
  • What happens at slumber parties stays at slumber parties.
  • Sing, LOUDLY, regardless of skill level.
  • Always be prepared to administer a cootie shot for a friend in need.
  • Popsicles count as hydration.
  • No sleeping without a proper tuck-in.
  • I decide what constitutes a proper tuck-in.
  • Proper tuck-in standards are subject to change without notice.

SO, what rules did I forget? WAIT, before you answer that, check out this short video I made with the rest of my kids' rules - proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that kids' rules are WAY more fun than ours. And that adults really shouldn't wear pigtails. Or do most of the other stuff I did in this video.


Seriously, that was some good, old fashioned childhood fun, and I'd love to hear what your rules for being a kid are. If you click that little button below, it has a message all loaded up to tweet to me with our hashtag, #PopsicleRules - all you have to do is add your rule for being a kid, and click send! So tell me - which rules did I miss?

Tweet: My rule for being a kid is [TELL ME YOUR RULE HERE!], @RobynHTV! More here: http://ctt.ec/1atP1+ #PopsicleRules

Oh, and yes, this story is a sponsored by Popsicle by way of NickMom - but it's still the most fun I've had since the last time I was in a tree. All opinions and sopping wet sundresses remain my own.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


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