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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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March Madness madness

If you live in the midwest, or probably anyplace else in the basketball-loving world, you might've heard of a little something called March Madness.

March Madness refers to the mouth-foaming insanity surrounding the NCAA basketball championship, when hoops fans watch game after sneaker-squeaking game with the same rabid intensity that normal people reserve for frantically urging beloved family members to Run faster! during the zombie apocalypse.

Part of the madness, as you already gathered if you're familiar with calendars, is that the fervor spills from March into April and isn't scheduled to calm down until after the Championship Game is over and people have stopped lamenting how sucky their brackets were (so, like, June).

"Brackets," or "charts of sporty sadness" as they are also known, are the tools fans use to track who they predict will win each game as the playing field narrows from 32 teams, down to the Sweet Sixteen, then the Elite Eight, the Final Four, and finally the Terrible Twos. Based on what I've learned during my lifetime in the Basketball Belt of America, no one in the history of EVER has been happy with their brackets by the time the Championship is decided. I imagine it's really hard to pick the winner, probably due to stuff like point spreads, injury time outs, hideous uniforms, and "upsets" (which I believe is Latin for "Hey, we didn't know that team was better than that other team").

You can tell I know a lot about it; that's because my husband is one of the rabid fans, and I mostly listen to a lot of the things he tells me about college basketball, right up until my eyes glaze over and I start thinking about frappuccinos. He'll be quick to tell you he hasn't watched an entire game so far in this series (note: kids can be a real time suck), but that hasn't stopped him from exhibiting many of the signs of NCAA mania. As the basketball season grinds slowly and painfully to a close, I decided to put some of the more prevalent symptoms of March Madness madness into a bracket of my own.



Now I'm really starting to feel the excitement! The smart money is on the incessant phone checking for the win - but now that I have my own bracket to babysit, I'll probably be a lot more sympathetic. If all goes well, at least one of us will make it through the next few days without a busted bracket, and we might even have some beer and cheeseballs left over for football season - when my own sports insanity really gets a chance to shine.


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