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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Kidioms - idioms rewritten for parents

Idioms - folk sayings, maxims, proverbs, whatever you want to call them - are clever little phrases that speak a universal truth.

Or at least, they used to.

Just like my ancient oven mitts, we keep using idioms because they've been around forever and they (sort of) get the job done - but unfortunately, many of them have lost their usefulness over time. They've simply gotten a bit outdated; sure, "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," but how is that relatable? I buy my birds in the frozen meat section and they're worth about $2.97 per pound.

I know, that idiom isn't supposed to be about literally catching birds, but I'm a MOM - I don't have time to decipher what my kids are saying with their mouths full of Fruit Roll-Up and translate these old-timey words of wisdom into new-timey words that make sense. So, in case some of you were having the same problem, I invented Kidioms - idioms that parents can actually use.


kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

kidioms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV
If you got a laugh out of these, check out MORE in Kidioms Part 2 and Kidioms Part 3!


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


28 comments:

  1. Amy at Funny is FamilyJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    You are so clever. I would be more jealous if I didn't love you.

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  2. Susan Bristow-McleanJanuary 13, 2014 at 11:07 AM

    Love these....especially the Lego one!

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  3. Even though I'm not a parent, I love these so much (especially the last one.)

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  4. You are one sharp lady, Robyn!!

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  5. hollow tree venturesJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:55 PM

    I'll take that as and extra-huge compliment, because I could say the same about you! xo

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  6. hollow tree venturesJanuary 13, 2014 at 2:01 PM

    Thank you - and thank you for all the new friends you sent my way on The Facebook! MwwwwAH!

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  7. Hey, you don't have to be a parent to hate glitter. Glitter's an equal opportunity annoyance.

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  8. Hilarious! Lego hell and glitter are definitely my favorites--- which tells you an awful lot about life in this house.

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  9. Thank you! And thanks for making me feel less alone - life in your house sounds a lot like life here, where I was recently poked in the eye with a metallic fish sticker.

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  10. Damn you're clever! I want all of trees framed!

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  11. This is so creative and clever! I love it! Must share!

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  12. Thank you so much - for the kind words *and* the sharing!

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  13. Hahahaha! Glitter, the bane of my existence! I actually make sure I have Sweets use glitter in all her handmade cards (don't judge) so that I can share the love of glitter. I pinned that one- love it!

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  14. The Lego one is an absolute truth!
    and oh good lawd the glitter....and it's not JUST glitter now....they have glitter GLUE! thanks ever so much.
    I also like Cry Over Spilt Milk.....or, at least I hope that is what is stuck all over my kitchen floor!! Did it move? I think it moved....

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  15. Very VERY funny! Love it!

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  16. Glitter + Glue = the herpes of craft supplies!

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  17. Her Royal ThighnessJanuary 14, 2014 at 5:06 PM

    I especially love Nap Time Flies and Cleanliness is Next to Impossible. Clever!

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  18. I especially love Nap Time Flies and Cleanliness is Nest to Impossible. So Clever!

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  19. Thanks for the share - and for *not* sending me a glitter card (that's completely hilarious when you do it to *other* people, though)!

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  20. They had to mix glitter into the glue, because glitter doesn't already get into EVERYTHING and stick there forever. Oh, wait... Never mind, I'm not sure why they thought we needed glitter glue.

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  21. You sure know how to make a girl feel appreciated, Nikki! Thanks for sharing, by the way - your Facebook intro made me snort. xoxo

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  22. Those are soooo true!

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  23. HA! Those are great. You make me giggle every time!

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