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The not-so-funny problem with November

Thanksgiving's in two weeks? November isn't over yet? Ugh.

I know, Thanksgiving is awesome. You get to eat until the zipper explodes off your pants and then take a nap on the couch. What's not to love?

The problem is, I'm a humorist. Specifically, I'm the kind of humorist who hates offending people—and while playing nicely in the sandbox is good in my personal life, it can become a major professional obstacle in November.

That's because humorists make fun of stuff.
thanks for nothing Thanksgiving - the not-so-funny problem with November by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Unfortunately, as the calendar closes in on Thanksgiving, many people like their pumpkin pie with a heaping side of pious. 'Tis the season to be thankful, so folks suddenly start acting like nothing bothers them and every damn thing has a silver lining.
Which makes it pretty challenging to make fun of stuff.
If you aren't concerned about sticking a thorn up the Internet's butt, November can actually work to a writer's advantage. People seem to love reading things that make them mad—and people get offended by snark near Thanksgiving faster than you can say gobble gobble gobble (insert oral sex joke here, and someone who would've laughed on October 29th will accuse me of disrespecting turkeys).
All that anger can lead to lots of pissed off pearl clutchers padding your pageviews.
But I can't handle hostility, and I'm afraid too much hate mail wouldn't leave room in my mailbox for Sears credit card offers and poster-sized envelops from banks begging me to refinance my mortgage. So, I'm left with very little to joke about this month.
For example, familial irritation is normally a humorist's bread and butter. But I can't complain about my kids right now, because in November they're precious shining rays of light shooting down from heaven—much like the alien laser beam that blew up the White House in Independence Day, except more destructive.
I also can't joke about certain #blessed people on social media, because they probably are grateful for the opportunity to volunteer at the local soup kitchen, which they did yesterday before receiving their beautiful child's straight-A report card, for which their talented husband made a frame out of repurposed reindeer antlers they collected during a family trip to save an endangered orphan platypus.
Except, Facebook friend, I know you're a habitual humble-bragger who signed a petition to close the soup kitchen because it attracted poor people, and that you club orphaned platypuses for sport (#insincere). Nevertheless, teasing you about your November thankfulness only makes me look like a jaded, flippant jerk.
Which, of course, I am. I'm a humorist, remember?
Alas, in November I can't complain. Right now the Internet's a serious place for sharing Grandma's yam recipe and being grateful for laughter (but not actually laughing).
So my sincerest apologies, November. Thankfulness is great, but I'm ready for everyone to get their sense of humor back; that's why Thanksgiving can cram this gluttony of gratitude straight up its cornucopia.
No offense.
This article originally appeared on In The Powder Room and is reprinted here with permission.



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5 comments:

  1. Another funny, Robin!!

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  2. omg get out of my house! Stop taking pictures! Who let you in here?

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  3. I'm so glad to hear you say that - since some of those ARE my house! I live in fear that other people are just joking around about their houses being the anti-Pin, when mine really is. :)

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?