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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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My boobs are fine, thanks for asking.

Remember how I'm in that book, You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth?

And remember how it zipped up to the #1 spot on Amazon's Hot New Releases list and refused to leave, like a crotchety old lady on a park bench who refuses to scoot over or move her bag of pigeon kibble so someone else can sit down?

And remember how my essay in there is about how I longed to wean my baby, because it seemed like she was going to keep nursing until she either won the international title for Longest Uninterrupted Nipple Addiction, or left for college, whichever came first?

Robyn Welling @RobynHTV essay on breastfeeding #ITPRlipstick

And how I was afraid I was going to need a physical therapist and a team of crowbar experts to break the suction, since the unsolicited advice I was getting from strangers on the subject only served to make me want to gently kick them in the kneecaps?

Robyn Welling @RobynHTV essay about breastfeeding #ITPRlipstick

Well, I have news. She is weaned.

Mostly.

She still suffers from her nipple addiction, but she's come to terms with the fact that, beverage-wise, she's stuck with gnawing on a sippy cup.

Obviously in my essay I was looking at the lighter side of weaning, but how did I really feel about it when I got down to the nitty gritty of detaching her from my decolletage? I had a rare opportunity to document my feelings about retirement from my lengthy breastfeeding career practically as it was happening, which was weird but also pretty cool. I wrote about it on In The Powder Room (where else?) - bring your tissues and read all about it here.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


6 comments:

  1. WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustionSeptember 11, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    LOVED your essay in your old crotchety book ;)

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  2. Nipple addiction! you are so hilarious. I am a bad mother, my kid didn't get the hang of breast feeding right away so not much weaning was needed! I got your link from the ladies only link up party, so glad I did!

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  3. Bad mother?!?? No way! You know full well that kids just do whatever they want, and it starts at an early age - like birth. ;)

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  4. I Have A Pair i paid 15,99 but since the tag said 300 i just went on with it :]

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  5. And when you wear them and your friends ask, the correct response is, "YES, these are my $300 jeans!" :)

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