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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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I Finally Have Lipstick on My Teeth

You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth

**sips celebratory margarita**

Part of me thinks you wonderful people might get tired of me spewing words into the world at some point. Then I think, “Nahhhhhhh... But just in case, I’d better hitch my wagon to some of the funniest women on Earth, and throw in a new hilarious story about my boobs to seal the deal.”

I should’ve offered to let In The Powder Room use that klassy quote as the back cover blurb for the wickedly awesome anthology, “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth: and other things you’ll only hear from your friends In The Powder Room” (already an Amazon #1 Hot New Release!). Instead, I just shut my mouth and peed my pants in gratitude for being included in such a fantastic book.

#1 Hot New Release on Amazon - woot!
This happened while I was out of town on vacation last week -
but I'm totally taking partial credit anyway.

Yes, I’m co-author in another book - woohoo! Lookie, I'm all growed up and stuff!

Sorry, the maragrita is writing most of this post for me.

The margaraita would like you to know that I’m incredibly humbled and proud to be one of the 39 amazingly witty women included in this anthology who, I’m not even kidding, will keep you laughing with every turn of the page. They have pretty much every angle of womanhood covered (teehee, she said she had her womanhood covered...)

Gah, shut up, margarita!

Seriously, sorry about that, guys. Anyway, here’s how the comedic/editorial genius Leslie Marinelli (of The Bearded Iris) has it all summed up on the (actual) back cover blurb:

You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth
“You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth” is a hilarious collection of true tales by women, for women, about being women—bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and more—written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart. 
But be forewarned: we’re holding nothing back. We’re revealing our funniest deep dark secrets—because it’s through our most vulnerable and honest moments that we forge the strongest connections and discover we aren’t so alone after all.


My chapter in the book, you’ll be shocked to hear, is about breastfeeding. Specifically, it's about me finding the lighter side of being a human pacifier/beverage dispenser for over four years, along with some charming anecdotes about flashing construction workers and fantasizing about kicking little old ladies in the head. (Yeah. You'll see.)

However, on the off chance you're sick of reading about my breasts (Whaaaaaat?), there are also 38 other original, laugh-out-loud stories about getting knocked up, marital snafus, shopping debacles, menopause, and other people's breasts - just to name a few of the topics we're tackling face-first.

Heh heh. She said she's tackling breasts face-first.

Okay, ignore the margarita. The point is, I know you want lipstick on your teeth, too (the book, not actual lipstick). So don't waste any more time reading this - click below and read all the awesomeness that In The Powder Room has jammed packed into this fantastic book.

USA Kindle or  paperback
UK – Kindle or  paperback
Canada: Kindle or paperback
Apple – Coming soon
Nook – Coming soon
Kobo - Click Here
Sony Reader – Coming soon
Would you like copies for your store? Email for wholesale pricing: leslie@inthepowderroom.com

And thanks again to all of you for reading our stories. For real. We love you, man.

Uh oh, the margarita wants me to give you a smooch. xoxo

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


23 comments:

  1. I think I heard something about this book once or twice! But look at you, in two best-sellers this summer. So freaking fancy! I can't wait to read your story and should warn you mine does not include breasts or other lady parts, which I'm now realizing is mistake as I hear what others contributed. Oh well. I'M IN A BOOK WITH YOU AND YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE ME NOW!



    Stalking complete. Carry on ;)

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  2. I'm making it a personal goal to write something that doesn't involve anatomy. Some day. Maybe. I can't wait to read your essay, either - I'm going to use it for non-boob writing inspiration! Thanks for classing up the joint for the group. :D

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  3. Hitch your wagon to me anytime you want. Yeah, I know how that sounded.

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  4. Your margarita is hilarious, tackling breasts face first made me utter what I think can only be called a guffaw. Congratulations on the totally deserved inclusion in another best seller, seriously, you're one of the funniest ones out there :) *MWAH*

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  5. ERMAHGERD. You and your (hiccup) "maragrita" are frickin' hilarious. I love you both, man. Also, I love that we both wrote about our boobs. (#Classy) Seriously though Robyn, your essay is heartwarming, authentic, and most of all FUNNY. I will never be able to look at a twist off cap again without thinking of you. Highest of fives for all your much-deserved success as a writer and a weaner. (heh heh heh, I said weaner.)

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  6. Consider me allllllll hitched up in yer bidness.

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  7. Thank you, and YOU'RE one of the *sweetest* ones out there - MWAH right back atcha!

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  8. GREAT, now you've cursed me with "maragrita" in the same way I'm cursed to forever mispronounce, "What's the problem, occifer?" in a suspiciously drunken manner, even when I'm not suspiciously drunk. But that's okay, I'm sure you and your gimpy boobs will come and bail me out, or at least help keep me & mine occupied in the slammer with a 6-way game of checkers. I can never thank you enough for opening the doors to ITPR for me, or for including me in this incredible book. I'm bursting with pride and love for all the great talent you've amassed - but I have to stop there or I'll start crying again. ;)

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  9. SO COOL!! I'll definitely buy this one!! :) Congrats!!

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  10. I never read books, remember I'm your dyslexic friend, but I'm going to have to start! I'm so proud of you!! Oh and you've been saying "is there a problem, occifer?" Since we were 16!

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  11. SocialButterflyMomAugust 13, 2013 at 7:19 AM

    A second book calls for a second marg!

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  12. How exciting! Looking forward to reading another one of your contributions.

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  13. Christian at PCPPPAugust 13, 2013 at 5:48 PM

    Congrats on another book! But be careful listening to margarita, she once convinced me to sleep in the backyard and become one with the squirrels. Not good.

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  14. Thanks - and thanks for buying the book!!! You won't be disappointed. :)

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  15. That's true, but I was just 16 a few years ago (RIGHT?!?!?). If you can get a B+ on a biology exam that you slept through until 5 minutes before the exam was over, you CAN read this book. Or I can read it to you while you rest your head in my lap... ;)

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  16. She's a tricky drinking buddy. Her suggestions always sound like a good idea at the time, though...

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  17. Bwahahaha your still annoyed about that test aren't you! I rather you read it to me so I guess that would be a good excuse for me to come visit! :)

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  18. Amy at Funny is FamilyAugust 16, 2013 at 7:33 AM

    I was all "I want to write something my grandparents can read this time." I wrote about blowjobs. Let's weasel our way into amazing books together forever, OK?

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  19. Congratulations!!! SOOOOO awesome!!! :) You need to get a manicure and a pedicure and your hair done all up and maybe some new make up for this gig!!! Oh, and if you are like me, perhaps a new wardrobe too!!! lol

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  20. Thank you! Believe me, I'll try to wrangle a new wardrobe out of this one way or another!

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?