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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Top 10 reasons to have kids



I'll bet there are a lot more than 10 reasons to have kids, maybe even as many as 15 (reasons, not kids - there's hardly ever a good reason to have 15 kids). But since I have to get back to dying all these hairs that've mysteriously started turning grey since I became a mom, let's just start with 10.


  1. You have someone to blame when you want pancakes for dinner, pizza for every meal three days in a row, or dessert after breakfast.
  2. They can often be bribed into changing the channel when the remote runs out of batteries.
  3. Gives you an opportunity to meet your neighbors, as you explain why the side of their car has a baseball-sized dent or why your child addressed them as "that idiot next door."
  4. They say you look fancy when you wear a sweater with your good yoga pants, because yes, their standards are that low.
  5. No need to waste money on having nice things - they'll just get broken anyway.
  6. Great excuse to giggle about boogers and toots.
  7. Helpful (and loud) alerts any time there is a really, really, really old person near you at the grocery store.
  8. Constant updates about Spongebob episodes you might have otherwise missed.
  9. Good practice for your ninja skills: navigating your child's cluttered bedroom in the dark, catching partially chewed food rejects before they hit the floor, and stifling your screams when you wake up to find their manically smiling face two inches from yours.
  10. Finally, you're no longer the most immature person in the house.
Okay, #10 is really only true on a good day, but how am I supposed to teach them the importance of Pancake Dinner Night or the intricacies of apologizing for a wayward fast ball to the idiot next door if I act like an adult all the time?

What about you - what perks have you found to having your kids hanging around the house?



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16 comments:

  1. lol. I never thought of this stuff when I decided not to have kids. There are only so many pizza nights I can blame on my cat...

    That can NOT be a real TV show. I swear the collective intellect of Western society is inversely proportional to the number of reality shows on TV. But I bet it's a hit.

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  2. Kathy at kissing the frogMay 28, 2013 at 8:05 AM

    Numbers 1 and 6 are my favorites! :)

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  3. Hahaha, I just realized you were talking about the ad - but yeah, pretty sure it's a real thing. ;)

    I'll never judge you for as many pizza nights as you deem necessary and/or delicious, whether you blame them on the cat or not. **eats breakfast pizza**

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  4. Thanks! And also... BOOGERS! hahahahaha :)

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  5. My wife would disagree with #10. I'd also add... so many high fives!

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  6. You're right, our society has left it to the kids to keep the high five tradition alive!

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  7. #5 and #9 are my favorites.

    I would have to say the benefit I found is not getting weird stares when I want to jump in a bounce house or run to the front of the exhibit at the zoo - because "my child is the one who wants to do those things."

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  8. SocialButterflyMomMay 30, 2013 at 7:06 AM

    I really like #7 and #8 :) I would add that mom/dad are always the best singer and dancer, no matter how we actually sound/look.

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  9. I love it. Especially number 4. Yes, the good yoga pants :)

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  10. That's actually happened to me, many times. Too bad it's summer - very few ways to dress up my tank top. ;)

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  11. YES! And they loooove the singing and dancing - beg for it - which no adult in their right mind would do.

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  12. Ooooh, #9 - Hubs is highly impressed at my ability to anticipate a puking child and get her head over the toilet just in time.

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  13. You've reach Ninja level: Master, due to the fact that you actually get her to a toilet instead of what I do, which is run up with outstretched hands for no imaginable reason and then wish I hadn't.

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  14. 11. Having Barbie dolls & Legos to play with.
    12. Being able to re-read all the great childhood books.
    13. Having Watermelon & Ice Cream for dinner on the Hottest Day of Summer!
    14. Running squealing and laughing through the sprinkler on the Hottest Day of Summer.
    15. Watching Sesame Street again; still miss Mr. Rogers.
    16. Naps; for the Kids and for Me!

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  15. Yes!!! Those are great! I had seriously forgotten how much I loved Legos until I had kids. Plus, my brother used to use all the good pieces, and now it's MY TURN (when the kids aren't using the good pieces, of course).

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