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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Monopoly for Moms


I believe you're well aware of how I feel about family game night - SuperFun family togetherness!

In theory.

In reality, it's often a never-ending Whine Fest. Sometimes I'm not even the only one whining.

In terms of family game night suckage, it's widely agreed that Monopoly is the worst game ever invented - easily twice as bad as Old Maid and lawn darts combined, which at least would have some potential to be entertaining. In the history of family game night, only three entire games of Monopoly have been seen through to their 15-hour marathon completion, and in zero of those cases did anyone care one iota about who won by the time it was over.
Pro tip: When deep in the throes of Monopoly, you can often end the agony by paying fellow players all your money just to take your properties off your hands, if you have any, which I usually don't.
But I have a theory - maybe if they made the game more relatable, I'd be able to tolerate it a little better. I probably still couldn't stand it long enough to finish a whole game, but maybe at least long enough to get all the way around the table once so everyone gets a turn before I swipe all the Scotty dogs and top hats onto the floor in a dramatic hissy fit and declare, "Screw this! Game over."

My family might be spared that scene if, while my pewter shoe tapped its way around the board, I knew I might land on some of these new properties. Instead of arbitrary rent amounts at places I've never been, these familiar locations would make any mom feel right at home.







And let's not forget those Chance and Community Chest cards. Paying everyone $50 because I got elected Chairman of the Board? Getting out of jail free? Bank error in my favor? I don't even know what those things are. Most moms would feel a little more connected to the game with cards like these:



See? Much better. I'd almost be willing to play this version of Monopoly... as long as I don't have to be the thimble.

UPDATE: Obviously you'll need a game board to play on, too - check out Mom-opoly on NickMom!



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


21 comments:

  1. Thanks, fishducky! It wasn't too hard to be better than the original. ;)

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  2. I just love your blog posts. So original, applicable to almost all with a pulse, and mingling humor with reality--it really does make for great reading! I have curtailed a lot of my online reading (hours in a day conundrum) but I will always read this blog, well done lady!

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  3. I would SO play this version!!! Excellent! Now to thing of other games with a Mom twist...:)

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  4. What a perfectly wonderful thing to say - thank you!!! Believe me, I know it isn't easy to keep up with all the blogs you'd like to, so I'm honored and flattered to be on your reading list. :)

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  5. I'm sure there are plenty of games that need to be reworked - but my favorite is Go Back To Bed, Mommy Said You Couldn't Get Up Before The Sun. They really need to take the part out of that game where the kids get up at 3am. ;)

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  6. Will this be available for Christmas 2014? Also, how does one get stuck on "Spa Avenue"? I'll draw two of those and head to jail for not being able to pay at the end of it.

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  7. I'm afraid Rule #1 is that I permanently reside on Spa Avenue, but as part of our sisterwife-hood you can stay there rent-free whenever you land on it - I apologize in advance for draining the bar. ;)

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  8. THIS IS AMAZING!!! Can you trademark this!! Spot on!

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  9. So I use Internet explorer on my desk PC. I am using our work community PC and it also has internet explorer - it works, the one on my desk does not. It is a POS. It is not you and it is not IE, it is MY computer. I can also see Taras on this computer. I will report my computer to the computer GODS and see if I have a virus, I am sure I do....cough, cough. :) Love you chick! <3 Devan

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  10. I should! I bet that would be even more work than playing Monopoly, though...

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  11. ROFL!! This was a much needed read after a sleepless night with a teething 14 month old.

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  12. So YOU get it, for sure! ;) I hope you get to go directly to jail (they have cots there, people cook for you, and there's nothing to do but sleep - it's heaven!).

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  13. I'll take it!! Sounds better than a spa day :)

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