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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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I Just Want To Pee Alone

Ohhhhhh mercy, people, the book is here!

If I hear you say, "What book?" I swear I'll... well, do nothing, except for tell you about it.

It's a hilarious collection of stories about motherhood, as told by some of the crazy-funniest women on the internet. Plus me. I don't know how I got in there too, but I know it's true because the intensity of my eyeballs staring at my own name almost burned a hole through the table of contents.

My little old name, next to the masterminds behind blogs like People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Insane in the Mom-Brain, The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, Baby Sideburns, and Rants From Mommyland. I'm rubbing literary elbows (home of the literary funny bone) with Bad Parenting Moments, You Know It Happens At Your House Too, Let Me Start By Saying, and Ninja Mom. I could go on, but there are 37 side-splittingly funny ladies in this book, and I know you have so many other questions. Such as...

What's it all about? Glad you asked:

Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand.

Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web.
So there you go. You know you have to have it, and I'll tell you exactly how to get it in your grubby mitts.

Option 1: For paperback copies and the Kindle version, you can click on the Amazon widget in my left sidebar - it'll take you straight to laugh town. While you're at it, keep in mind that you can click that link any time you want ANYTHING from Amazon - even if you click away from the page you land on, whatever Amazon shopping you do via my widget (not as dirty as it sounds) results in extra pennies for me - without costing you anything extra! 

I've also tried to simplify the ordering process my creating a Buy My Book page. In a nutshell, the other options are:

A SIGNED (by me) PAPERBACK COPY, delivered to your door with a slobbery kiss I'll plant on one of the pages but I won't tell you which one. For that: CLICK HERE. Shipping is included, and covers one book - if you need more than one, A) you're awesome, and B) please email me, otherwise your shipping will be janky. Make sure to tell me who to make the book out to or request any special messages in the "Add Special Instructions" field. Signed copies are very limited, though - not because I'm fancy, but because I suck at math and I quadruple hate going to the Post Office. So, get 'em while they're hot!

For the "CLICK HERE" equivalent of clicking on my Amazon sidebar widget...

KINDLE: CLICK HERE

AMAZON PAPERBACK BOOK DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR: CLICK HERE

iTUNES FOR YOUR APPLE DEVICE: CLICK HERE

NOOK: While we wait for Barnes and Noble, you can get it at Smashwords by following the instructions for NOOK: CLICK HERE

KOBO and SONY READER: CLICK HERE

Other options, including Nook, Kobo, and Sony will be available soon. We were gonna wait to do the big announcement when those were ready to order too, except word leaked out and a bunch of copies sold on Amazon, causing the book to launch onto the bestseller list already, and we were like, "WAAAAIT, we want to tell our peeps* about it!" So here it is. Buy a copy, and twenty more copies for your closest friends. Then tell your family, "Hey, I just want to pee alone," and lock yourself in the bathroom - as a bonus, you'll laugh so loud, you won't be able to hear them pounding on the door.

*Speaking of peeps, I'm sending big hugs to all of you reading this - if it weren't for you, none of this would be possible, my husband would have to bear the brunt of my rambling and would've gone insane ages ago. So thank you. From both of us.


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


33 comments:

  1. WOOOO HOOOO!! I just ordered a signed copy, so get busy wench! :) I'm gonna send mine all over Merica to have it signed by everyone in it - it'll be worth one million dollars but ill never sell!! NEVER!! Can't wait babe!! <3 Devan

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    1. You're the BEST, Devan! You *are* the first order, and you can bet I'm gonna cook up something good to scribble in there... or maybe not, since now I've set myself up with too much pressure. ;) Thank you so much. Seriously.

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    2. Your copy is in the mail RIGHT NOW - they claim they'll get it to you by Wednesday. :)

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  2. I just clicked over to Amazon, read a little & bought it!! How could I not?

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    1. And then my little Grinchy heart grew three sizes - thank you so much, fishducky! I'm glad you have an excellent sense of humor, or I'd be nervous all the anatomical references might offend. ;)

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  3. I'm thinking about doing what TNMom mentioned above too but I would like to sell it for the one million dollars. Do I just ebay it or is this more of a Tiffany's auction type deal? Thank you.

    P.S. And congrats! That's very exciting-awesome!

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    1. Thanks, Christian! If it's ever worth a million dollars, I'll personally deliver your copy to Tiffany's myself - I'm going to go out on a limb though, and say it'd probably sell better at a garage sale.

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    2. Unless you're printing one on diamonds, I think Christie's might be a better auction-house option.

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  4. Wooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Nice, baby! Number one on Amazon!

    Ur funny. And mine.

    Mew.

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    1. Woot woot! Thanks, babe - it truly wouldn't have happened without your support, and your willingness to put up with my face being glued to the computer so much. :)

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  5. Done and done! Can't wait to start reading! Boy, am I a big fan of Amazon's buy with 1 click/delivered instantly to my Kindle! Talk about instant gratification! Congrats, mama!

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    1. Thanks SO much! I know what you mean about the one-click thing - daaaaangerously easy. I hope you love the book - if you do, please consider writing a quick Amazon review, it REALLY makes a big difference! :)

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  6. congratulations!
    Kicking myself for buying a Kobo...guess I'll wait a few weeks for the funny. But I am MOST certain it will be worth it ;)

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    1. Thank you, but also DANGIT! Sorry about the delay. I hope it doesn't take Kobo long to get on board, and that it does end up being worth the wait (I think it will be, but I'm probably biased). ;)

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  7. hi there robyn! it's me, your mominlaw!

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    1. I'll say HI, even though I know Gerry typed that in for you as a demonstration and I was sitting right there when he did it. ;)

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  8. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!! Congrats!!!

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  9. What??! I knew you'd be super famous one day! Or in Mexico under an assumed name. But this is waaaay better. Congrats!!

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    1. The smart money was on Mexico, but I'll take it! Thank you!

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  10. I'm too impatient to wait for a signed copy. Kindle 1-click buy/delivery? Best thing ever - right after this book. I've never howled so hard. I laughed till I had to pee. And no, I did NOT get to go alone. She's THIRTEEN. When so I get to pee alone already???

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    1. Oh, yay! I'm so glad you liked it, and even more glad that it made you pee! :D If you get a chance, I'd LOVE it if you put a quick review on Amazon - it's a huge boost for the book!

      Seriously, hearing that it made you laugh makes me really, really happy. Hearing that kids might still bug me while I'm in the bathroom when they're 13? Not so much. ;)

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    2. I reviewed it already! How could I not??? I love it!

      I didn't expect her to bug me at age 13, either. Not happy making. She stands there yammering at me when I'm dealing with monthly issues, for crying out loud! =(((

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    3. Noooooo! I thought teens were supposed to ignore you for several years before they hit their late twenties and realized they weren't as smart as they thought they were?!?! Our older kids are boys, so they always stay waayyyyyyy away from the bathroom when I'm in there. ;)

      Thank you SO MUCH for the review - really, it helps TONS. I appreciate it!

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    4. You'd think that, right??? Bah. The worst is when I'm in the shower and she decides she has to poo and just can't wait any longer. =(

      You're welcome! I may have to edit it - I've read it 3 times now and it just keeps getting funnier! So I'm thinking that should be mentioned. =D

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    5. Awww, that's awesome! I mean that the book keeps getting funnier, not that you also don't get to *shower* alone. It seems like right to shower alone once our kids are teenagers should've been put in the Constitution or something. :)

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  11. My hubby just text me and said I got the book in the mail today!! Cant wait to get home and READ IT!!! YAY!!! <3 Devan

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    1. Aaaaaack, now I'm nervous! PLEASE LIKE IT!!!!!

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    2. You rock! I just love you! I have to go to bed now but as soon as I shake off these little people in the morning, I skipping straight to your section! :) Thank you for the nice words! As long as you keep writing, I'll keep reading and tossing my two cents in! <3 Devan

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    3. That's awesome! :D I hope I didn't leave enough room on that page for any of the other authors to say something better than what I wrote - I already bragged to them that I sent out your book. We all love you. ;)

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  12. Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart.

    That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks to DR AKPAKPA, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how DR AKPAKPA could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: afiamensolutionshrine@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?