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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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12 tips for removing kitchen odors


Have I ever told you how much I love bacon? Well, I do, but unfortunately I have a genetic defect or something that prevents me from cooking it properly. Luckily my husband is more than just a pretty face - he also happens to be a great cook (sorry ladies - he's not for sale). The other day, I came downstairs to find the air swirling with the delightful, mouth-watering aroma of delicious, delicious bacon.

I ate a lot of bacon that morning.

Later, after the baby's nap, I came back downstairs again and Gerry was making more  bacon!

"What gives, babe? You trying to kill me? Figure the coroner won't check my arteries for multiple recent bacon deposits?" I inquired with suspicion.

But he wasn't making more bacon. I just thought  he was, because the entire house still smelled like Waffle House.

Ewwww.

Unfortunately, cooking isn't the only cause of occasional (or persistent) kitchen stinkiness - sources of stench can lurk in every corner of the room (don't act like it's just at my house, y'all - there's no shame in it).

I think it was Phyllis Diller who once said that the best way to get rid of kitchen odors was to eat out. True, Phyllis, but since we can’t all eat out for every meal, I'm making my debut on Home Made Simple with some uncharacteristically actually helpful  tips for getting rid of those pesky kitchen stinks. Please click over to check 'em out, then enjoy your fresh, odor-free kitchen while I talk Gerry into making me a BLT. With a side of bacon. **Note: Sad trombone - Home Made Simple is no more, and I have NO IDEA what became of my precious, precious article about food odors. My sincerest apologies for the continues stench in your kitchen. If it's any consolation, mine still usually smells like bacon.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


25 comments:

  1. There's ALWAYS an excuse for more bacon.

    ALWAYS.

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  2. Bacon and a Phyllis Diller quote? You lady are a master! Ellen

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  3. I should not have read those great tips! I use the "but it makes the house stinky" excuse not to make it every single day ...

    I think we're going to have bagel BLTs for dinner tonight. Yes, that sounds much better than the boring broccoli and chicken.

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    1. Sounds delicious! Could you stop by and bring me one? All this bacon talk has me hungry.

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  4. So what you are saying is that I need to start cooking bacon in the bathroom. Got it.

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    1. I hear bacon is really good steamed. Okay, I've never heard that, but how could it not be???

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  5. Bacon is proof that God loves us. Or that pigs are awesome. Or something.

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    1. At the very least, it's proof that pigs love us.

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  6. So funny since I had just found and commented on your bacon post from like a year ago. Also? Bacon! <3 Devan

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    1. I thought about that when I linked it. :) Bacon! (I think we should sign off all our communications with a resounding "Bacon!" from now on.)

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  7. WOW! That web site has a ton of links and tips... I feel so inspired! I love organization tools and tips!! Thanks!

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    1. I'm SO glad to hear you say that! I write for them on the regular now, so watch for more actual, snark-free helpfulness a few times a month - until I can find a way to sneak some snark in there. It does pain me to take things seriously sometimes. ;)

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  8. That was great!! Especially the microwave one. Mine constantly smells like spaghetti.

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    1. Yeah, what gives with the spaghetti smells? It seems like such an innocent food. Thanks for checking it out! :)

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  9. Have you ever noticed that "bacon" spelled backwards (and separated by a space between the "o" and the "c") is "no cab?"

    weird.

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    1. No, I never noticed that. I imagine that's the whole reason they don't cook and serve sizzling bacon in taxis.

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  10. Can we still be friends if I admit we only eat turkey bacon?

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    1. YES! I can't stomach regular sausage. It's pretend, skinless turkey sausage all the way. :) Also, turkey bacon is delicious in its own right.

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  11. The hood over our stove doesn't vent and all I do is splatter grease and set off the smoke detectors when I cook bacon inside...so I make it on the BBQ. No stinky house, only jealous bacon smelling neighbors.

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    1. BBQ bacon?!? Genius.

      We don't have a kitchen vent - I'm pretty sure our house was built by someone who didn't know much about appliances. Or rulers. Or levels. Or building houses.

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