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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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estate planning for dummies

We're not big plan-aheaders.

Well, I shouldn't say that. We plan for small things, like dinner. And by "plan," I mean that about 10 minutes before dinnertime, my husband wanders into the kitchen and yells two or three likely meal options in my general direction, I yell back that I don't care what we eat, and then we get take-out.

That counts as planning, right?

One day, our teenager was teasing us about our apparent lack of foresight, and to drive his point home he said something to the effect of, "You guys probably filled out your will in a Mad Libs."

Which is completely untrue, and ridiculous!

But also a really great idea.


Actually, we're not even pulled together enough to have a Last Will and Testament in Mad Libs form - I think we've been putting it off until we actually had some stuff worth passing on to the next generation. But I hate to think of our five children in some stuffy lawyer's office someday, fighting over who gets to keep my Guns N Roses cassette tapes and who gets Gerry's boxes of old magazines.

So Kennedy's comment, along with my younger kids' passion for Mad Libbing, has inspired me to do something about it. I created a Mad Libs Last Will and Testament, and had the kids supply me with the missing words. That way, instead of fighting, if they don't like what they end up with, it's their own damn fault.


Is this non-legal document some kind of revenge for how they like to add you into their Mad Libs and surround the word "Mom" with as many offensive words as possible to ensure maximum inappropriateness? you might ask.

Hollow Tree Ventures
"Every time Mom stepped in a puddle, her butt would get totally furry." --winning at Mad Libs 

No, of course not. This is about being a well-prepared, responsible adult. The revenge is just a bonus.


Granted, they didn't know what the Mad Libs form was for when I was asking for nouns and verbs, but nevertheless, they had the opportunity to keep it clean. Do you think they did?


You're welcome, Bieb! Don't spend all those boogers in one place.

So there you have it - if you've been neglecting getting your affairs in order like I was, do it the smart way. The easy way. The fast way.

Make your heirs do it themselves.

After all, it's only fair.

Please click below as I rest a little easier knowing that my nose hair will find a good home when I'm gone, and that my Guns N Roses tapes will go exactly where they belong - in the casket, with me.
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21 comments:

  1. I haven't thought about Mad Libs for years! My kids would lose their minds over that hilarity. We haven't had school since Thursday because of the blizzard, so we're going to do this today!

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    1. They're some serious fun, plus I like to pretend they're educational. How else will my kids learn that "stupid" is an adjective and "stupidly" is an adverb? Unless that's not right, in which case the Mad Libs are doing more harm than good.

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  2. I giggled while reading that amazing testament, and my daughter asked why I was laughing. I read her the will and she giggled right along with me. Then she asked "What's a will, mommy?"

    I explain that it's a set of instructions to do after someone dies and that it's good planning. She replies with "That lady is PLANNING TO DIE?!?" (imagine this said in a highly dramatic 6yo incredulous tone). Cue in a good 10-minute explanation and a better definition of a will, why people need one and why it's good to plan for things in life. We also talk about jokes and how your will was just a funny little joke.

    She shakes her head and says "Well, that lady should know that DEATH is not funny." (5 second pause) "Unless she died because her nose hair was burning from a smelly fart." Cue in mad giggles and a fun game of embarrassing-and-funny-ways-to-die. Most of them involved poop and other bodily functions.

    Thank you for a laughter-filled morning!

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    1. Mel, that absolutely made my day! Really, the thought of you and your daughter having a giggly morning together because of something you saw here is the BEST feeling - thank you so much for sharing! (And your daughter's right - death isn't funny, but I have a long history of not taking important things seriously.) ;)

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  3. My husband & I have a simple will. It says that on the off chance that we were unable to spend everything before we died, the kids can fight over it!!

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    1. I love that, fishducky! I'm going to print out a copy and sign it, so if this Mad Libs thing doesn't hold up in court I'll have that as a backup.

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  4. I had my lawyers (my two cats) look this over and they said it looks legit (they meowed).

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    1. Perfect - that's just the kind of free legal counsel I was looking for. Tell them thanks/meow for me!

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  5. Yes, finally financial planning that makes sense.

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    1. You know me, I live to serve! Eat, sleep, drink beer, talk about my boobs on the Internet, eat, and, if there's time left, serve.

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  6. Finally, a will I actually understand! I'll take 2. That's how it works, right? Thank you, Hollow Tree Ventures, Attorneys at Law!

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    1. They're BOGO, like shoes at Payless. I feel like I should hang a shingle outside my door - I think I'd get a lot of business! But probably also get sued a lot.

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  7. I absolutely love this! And we have a lot in common! I too am a mom of 5 who plans dinner as the hubby is walking into the kitchen. Tonight was frozen pizzas. I miss Mad Libs and after reading the first line "I Mom Being of Stupid Mind and Toilet" I'll be heading to the store tomorrow to buy some. We need a will :)

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    1. Pro tip: if you get the pizza out and put it on the counter at lunch time, it's room temperature by dinner time. That's practically cooked! All the convenience of crock pot cooking without the messy crock pot to clean. Mamas of 5 have to save every ounce of effort they can, right? ;)

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    2. Here's a wonderful tip I learned from my mother-in-law.She was also a mother of 5 and she has a goldmine of useful tips.

      Line a couple of cookie sheets with tinfoil (easy clean up!). Take a soft flour tortilla, slap some canned tomato sauce, whatever toppings you like, sprinkle with cheese and bake for 5-10 minutes (until cheese is melted). Voila! You got yourself a fancy thin-crust "healthy" pizza.

      Best part is, you can let your kids put on the toppings (a la assembly line!) and entertain them for a few minutes. The foil will catch any stray cheese and make clean-up super easy.

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    3. Mel, I was expecting a joke, but that's a REAL TIP that I can actually use! And I will, so thank you - my baby loves anything on a tortilla and the schoolagers still love helping with dinner, so we'll have to give this a try. :)

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  8. My son loves Mad Libs! He fills his out when he is sitting on the toilet going poop. Hence all the potty-fill-ins I am sure.

    It does make for rather interesting "library" material for the rest of us though. Because that's exactly where and when you need a good laugh.

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    1. I always love to laugh heartily when I'm in the bathroom alone - it sure makes people wonder! ;)

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  9. My favorite from the old days doing these with G and K - "One way to kill a vampire is to drive a wooden toilet through his house." They would almost invariably use Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan as the proper nouns, and make up new words entirely for other categories. Elephagomalous, anyone?

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    1. Unfortunately I lost my toilet driver's license after I drove my porcelain throne through someone's house. It still makes me feel a little elephagomalous to this day.

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  10. I read a lot of Dummies books,and I really like about them is that they are usually well organized. Estate Planning for Dummies is also available.The authors start with relatively simple concepts and then move on to wills.
    Scottsdale estate planning

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