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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

As The Dollhouse Turns - Christmas Special



Episode 14 - The First Annual Christmas Special


Buzz decides to surprise his family this year with a REAL Christmas tree!


"I don't know why more people don't come to the public park for their trees - this place is lousy  with them, and they're FREE," he thinks.

As he'd hoped, Sunny sure is surprised.


"Wow," she says, choosing her words carefully. "Do you think it might be a teensy bit... large for the space?"

"Fine," Buzz says. "I'll get my trimmers."

Two hours later...


"Better, right?" he asks with pride.

"Umm, sure. We'll just fill in the bare spots with ornaments."

Soon the children are gathered to participate in the Annual Tree Trimming tradition. Buzz takes a seat on the couch  with a beverage and tells baby Chiffon, "It's best that you learn early to stay out of Mommy's way when we decorate for Christmas 'as a family.'"


Sunny is already helping the girls trim the tree.

"Be careful with that one, Charmeuse! Be sure to spread them out evenly. No wait, the garland needs to come up a little on that side. Higher... higher... now over to the left... oh never mind, honey, let me do it. Hey, you can't put up all  the ornaments; let your sister hang some. But not there - we already have a red one there. Remember, spread them out. No, you can't eat these candy canes, they've been in a box in the attic for a year - they're just for show. Oh, here are Grandma's glass ornaments... Chenille, stop! Those are fragile! That one belongs to your sister, let her put it up. I see that you already did, just take it down so she can hang it up. Honey, I think we already have enough clothespin reindeer on the tree, don't you?"

Two hours later...


"Wait," says Buzz, "I know what we're missing!" He rummages around in the bottom of the box of decorations.

Sunny thinks, Surely he isn't going to dig up the tree topper I hid, the one Charmeuse made in pre-K that's 90% gold glitter and crusty Elmer's glue...

"Look what I found," Buzz announces.


He produces the glitter bomb before Sunny can kick him in the shin, and lifts Chenille up over his head to place the star at the top of the tree. Meanwhile, Charmeuse has a fit, claiming it was her turn to put the star on and besides she's the one who made it and it doesn't matter if she's too heavy to lift up, it isn't fair.

"Much better," Buzz proclaims.


The next morning, all three children wake up at 3 AM, ready to open gifts.

"Please, can we open presents?"

"I'm still asleep," says Sunny.

"Please, can we open presents?"

"Wait until the big hand is on the seven and the little hand is on the leave me alone."

"Please, can we open presents?"

"Fine."

Buzz and Sunny stumble out of bed. Sunny makes a strong pot of coffee, splashes some of it on her face in an attempt to absorb the caffeine directly through her eyeballs, and pours herself a cup. Buzz grabs the newspaper, ready to check the sports scores while the kids dig into the pile of gifts.

They find the girls in the living room, frothing at the mouth a little.


"Where's the pony I asked for?"

"I told you, you're not getting a pony."

"Please, can we open presents?"

"Just let me get the camera..."

"Please, can we open presents?"

"Fine."

Four minutes later...


"Mom, we're bored."


Dearest readers, whatever you're celebrating this month, or even if you're not celebrating anything in particular at all, I hope you're doing it with the people you love nearby. Love them and hug them - even if they're ungrateful brats.

And, as usual, the drama continues next time - until then, please feel free to catch up on previous episodes of As The Dollhouse Turns. Then click the Top Mommy Blogs banner below while I run out and buy a pony.
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I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


6 comments:

  1. FIRST!!!!!

    Just kidding. I know there were a ton of comments that got "disappeared" when you had to b***h-slap your new comment program.

    This is hilarious - perhaps mostly because of how accurate it is. The pictures are some of your best yet.

    My favorites: Buzz with the tree in the park, and the finished tree. Awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for helping replenish the wasteland that was left after all my comments were deleted. :)

      Also, thanks for reminding me I need to go rearrange all the ornaments. Again.

      Delete
  2. Love this. Who doesn't rearrange the ornaments after the children have left the room?

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    Replies
    1. It's one of the top reasons people keep having more kids - with a toddler around, you can always say, "Oh, this glittery one's so precious, I need to put it where the baby can't get it - way, way in the back." ;)

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  3. I never thought to splash the coffee in my face first.....that should give me the boost i ALWAYS need in the morning! LMAO as always reading this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Yeah, sometimes directly into the eyeballs is the only way to go. ;)

      Delete

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