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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Valley Girls, Video, and a HUGE Giveaway!

 
The other night, I was reading to Gerry from a book written by a friend of mine (she mentions casually, trying to sound cool),  Jen of People I Want To Punch In The Throat (she mentions, casually name-dropping),  reliving some serious valley girl jargon from my younger days (she says, losing all the cool points she'd gained in the first part of this sentence).

No, the whole book isn't written in valley-girl-ese (Gag me with a spoon! That would be bogus.) just the chapter where she gets a public school cool-kid makeover by some popular girls and ends up with a zillion scrunchies for Christmas.

You probably wouldn't know it from my horrible summary, but that story made me laugh out loud, as did the rest of her book, Spending The Holidays With People I Want To Punch In The Throat. It's SO funny, I begged until some hilarious bloggers let me tag along with them on this giveaway to make sure some of you get to read the book FOR FREE. Plus, somebody's going to get a Kindle Fire, and since it can't be me (I checked), it might as well be you!

As an added bonus, because I couldn't even come close to doing any of Jen's stories justice here, we also teamed up to embarrass ourselves by wearing ridiculous, unsightly holiday apparel while reading a passage from the book to you on video.

P.S. I'd better not be the only one in ridiculous holiday apparel.

Gerry was in charge of filming this little endeavor, a task I put off until the last minute because I hate to have video evidence of my existence. So, the night before the deadline, as we silently cradled the baby between us praying she would JUST FALL ASLEEP ALREADY, we were communicating via text in our typical way. You can tell we were already amused with ourselves before we even got started.


SO, several hours, one gigantic goblet of wine, and 4,528 takes later, my part of the video was finished. I hope you enjoy it, assuming they don't edit me out of the final cut, which I wouldn't blame them for one bit.

By the way, Gerry thinks the hat says "ice skating in a winter wonderland," but I think it says, "elderly DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba." You be the judge.
Later...
Holy crud, guess what. The video thingie didn't work. Something about downloads and our collective awesomeness crashing the innerweb. So instead, since I already wrote the part where I promised you a video, here are my outtakes so you can see how hard you'll be laughing when you read the book. Fair warning, I get progressively more tipsy as my goblet mysteriously empties. And I say "crap." A lot.



Wait, weren't we going to give you some stuff? Sorry, I got sidetracked.

Here's the scoop:

Nineteen of your favorite mom humor bloggers had a meeting and we all agreed. There's a brand new book that we think you NEED to read this holiday season. The title says it all.



If the holidays have you stressing about gift giving, cookie decorating, or where in the world to put your Elf on the Shelf, then you need to take a mommy time out and read a chapter or two. 

And now you can have a chance to peruse the pages for free - consider it our holiday gift to you. Jen generously donated an autographed copy of her book to every blogger participating in this giveaway so that we could increase your chances to win. All you have to do is enter the giveaway using the Rafflecopter form below for your chance to win an AUTOGRAPHED copy! Sorry, this giveaway is open to US residents only.

"But wait, that's not all!" we say in our best Price is Right announcer voice. We couldn't get a bunch of tech-savvy moms together for a book giveaway and not bring you an eReader, right? So we are also giving away a Kindle Fire!
   

NINETEEN winners will receive a copy of Spending The Holidays With People I Want To Punch In The Throat and ONE lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a Kindle Fire! What are you waiting for? Get clicking!



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


39 comments:

  1. Robyn, I'm going to eat you. That is all.

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    1. Thank you. I needed to hear that this morning.

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  2. It's official, I love you...and your cat...and your husband.

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    1. Yay, you're in the family! You can have the cat on alternate weekends. Aw hayle, you can have the cat all the time.

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  3. 1. Your husband has a dreamy voice.
    2. Please tell me you didn't steal that vest from a sad old lady on Bingo night.
    3. I want you to come over and read with me.

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    1. 1. I agree - he's totally dreamy. To the max.
      2. I got it for $1 at Goodwill, but I tell everyone I stole it from a Bingo lady because I want to seem like a badass.
      3. You mean for real, not just leaning over your bed reading Goodnight Moon while you sleep and I stroke your hair??? Not that I do that.

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    2. 1. That's funny. True, but funny.
      2. That's funny. True, but funny.
      3. That reminds me of the lady who started a "Snuggle Service" wherein she charges by the hour for snuggling. Seems legit.

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  4. Robyn, you just made my week. You are adorbs!

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    1. Aww, you're too sweet! ::blushes, kicks pebbles::

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    2. You are adorbs. Shooting that video was a riot.

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  5. Damn, you're cute! Since I never win anything, I just bought the book!!

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    1. Pshaw, thanks! And thanks (from Jen) for buying the book - may the laughter carry you through the stress of the holidays, possibly with a little help from a nice Merlot. ;)

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  6. You guys did not have enough fun filming that video. Admit it, your Hubs was kind of turned on by the Mrs. Claus/hat/glasses look at the end wasn't he?

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    1. My hubs gets turned on if I wear a muumuu and a bag over my head - he loves me THAT MUCH!

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  7. What do I have to do to get the sweater and the book?

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    1. After I wear it to the family gift exchange, the sweater will be available for pickup on the curb in front of my house. First come, first served!

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  8. I want to be related to you. That's what I'm asking Santa for this year. That fat fuck.

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    1. What a jerk, right? I'm still waiting for that pony I asked for when I was 7.

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  9. That was truly impressive and awe inspiring. There is no way I could get one of my cats to sit next to me for that long. Excellent work.

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    1. Believe me, that was over the course of several hours. I scared the cat away multiple times. He was really confused about why I kept calling him back, which I normally never - ever - do.

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  10. Hilarious, are you sure that glass in your hand was the first glass? Your video was one of the ones I couldn't see for some reason. Love it!

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    1. It was the first one - Promise! - though I was reminded more than once how HUGE the glass is. I'm not surprised you had trouble with the video after trying to edit it myself, though. I had to convert the file type and perform a voodoo ritual. Thanks SO MUCH for attempting to take that on - I wish we'd known from the start what an impossible task that was going to be! :)

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  11. US residents only? Hey now, you know Santa's from the North Pole right? That's in Canada. Like me. And he totally wanted to enter your contest. In fact, Santa told me that desperately wants "Spending the holidays with people I want to punch in the throat" for Christmas, because he feels a kindred soul with Jenn the author. Now I'm not entirely certain why Santa just wouldn't give it to himself, but I'm no holiday expert here. In fact, I've totally lost my train of thought entirely. So there.

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    1. Santa works in mysterious ways, as does the postal system. I truly do apologize for the "US residents only" thing. I blame the postal system. And Santa. And maybe the Keebler elves a little bit, because I strongly suspect they're in on it too.

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    2. I thought the North Pole was over the water (ice), making it international territory.

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    3. You wish! It's a little known fact that he's Canadian, which is why he's so friendly and is rarely seen flipping off other sleigh drivers.

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  12. That hat is totally Yo Gabba Gabba! Awesome! Loved seeing you on the video!

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    1. That's 2 votes for Yo Gabba Gabba - we're officially winning the debate!

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  13. Your laugh!! It's awesome!!! :)

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    1. Thanks - it's soooooo hard for me to listen to it (aaaack!) so that's nice to hear. :)

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  14. Love Love Love this Robyn! How freaking fun! I already have a personally signed copy of the book, so I will leave these alone. :) You and your hubby are so fun, I definitely want to live with you! I NEED (and by need I mean, will procrastinate and never do) a gawd awful sweater for family gift exchanges. I'd never be able to walk in and keep a straight face though. Happy Giveaway! Devan

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    1. Yes! You can move in, and we'll shop for ugly sweaters at Goodwill, read funny books, and drink wine - not in that order. :D

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  15. Hilarious! Just the thought of it makes me laugh!

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  16. Holy CRAP are you adorable! And your cat! And your husband! I'm just sorry I didn't get you your Craft Whores Goblet in time to make this video...it would have looked awesome next to THAT VEST. (I did actually mail it TODAY though. Pinky swear! Plus, bonus gifts...mwah ha ha!).

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    1. Perfect - I'll be wearing the vest to my family festivities and I'm planning to take the goblet with me, so they'll be spending plenty of quality time together. ;) If the goblet holds anywhere near as much wine volume as the glass I used for this video, I may or may not be vertical during said quality time.

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