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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The Olive Debacle

Halloween is over, which is sort of a bummer because that lands us squarely in Thanksgiving territory.


Thanksgiving rarely registers as a blip on anyone's Favorite Holiday Radar, but I can't imagine why not. Just off the top of my head I can think of several reasons to love it, such as:
  • getting up at 3AM
  • spending all day in the hot kitchen
  • putting your arm elbow-deep up a turkey's butt
  • reconnecting with distant relatives to remind yourself why you don't make an effort to see them more often
  • getting out the "special dishes," which you washed the last time you had them out, but that was a year ago so you have to wash them again, unless no one's watching and then you can just dust them off
  • feeling guilty about being ungrateful on all the other 364 days of the year
  • feeling guilty about overeating
  • feeling guilty that you haven't started Christmas shopping yet
  • completing a meal in 12 minutes that took 12 hours to make
  • cornucopias
  • strictly enforced family traditions
What's not to like? Plus, I sort of specialize in making an idiot of myself and/or turning normal events into disasters, so when Hillary of Because My Life Is Fascinating asked me to guest post with a Thanksgiving horror story, I thought, "Woohoo, that's awesome!" and also, "This is gonna be sooo easy."

Then I sat down to type. And I sat, and I sat, and I ate a Skittle that at some point had fallen into my sports bra (true story), and I sat some more.

I couldn't think of a single Thanksgiving horror story. Or at least not one I could publish without getting sued (another true story).

But then my mom reminded me about the black olive thing, which is one of the reasons I keep her around. To help me remember stuff, that is. Not for olives. But I digress. Click here to visit me at Because My Life Is Fascinating and hear the Epic Thanksgiving Olive Story of 2004, a cautionary tale of power struggles and olive-based traditions that almost tore my family apart.

Wait! Before you go, don't be a turkey - click below! (You see what I did there?)
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12 comments:

  1. I put this on Hilary's post:

    We also have an olive bowl at all holiday dinners, but there ARE rules to be followed. A prospective olive eater is required to insert each of their 10 fingers into a pitted olive & walk around wearing them for at least 5 minutes before eating!

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    1. Perfect - my kids are already in total compliance. ;)

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  2. Thanksgiving is actually my favorite holiday so I was surprised by your list until I remembered that it is never celebrate at my house so I never have to make any of the food. I think that is key.

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    1. Yes, that's a crucial detail, and required in order to enjoy the holiday.

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  3. I can hardly wait to read it. Anything involving black olives is bound to be hilarious.

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    1. They are one of the funnier... vegetables? Fruits? Legumes? Foods, we'll go with foods.

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  4. Can't wait to see what happens with the olive debacle. I, too, was once involved in a Thanksgiving olive scandal.

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    1. What are the odds?? Have you blogged it? Link, please!

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  5. Yay I forbid olives in my house!! True olive story....when I was doing foster care I had my lil Nessie girl she was not potty trained yet and would eat olives up!!! Well gobbled up olives do not always digest well and lets just say she would poop olives out for days and get the worst smelly raw bottom from them, the older kids remember the olive diapers we all had to change and we have sworn off those black beauties from all holiday festivities! Great post Robyn......Janice

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the warning - I'll bring that up with my kids. It might slow down their scarfing (briefly).

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