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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

As The Dollhouse Turns - Is That You?

Episode 11 - Is that you?

"Jimmy?"
 Second question: Is this delivery, or DiGiorno?"

Upon seeing the missing boy suddenly appear on her doorstep delivering pizza, Sunny's voice squeaks out like helium escaping a balloon.

"Me no know no Jimmy, ma'am. Me told me name Bob. Me eat your pizza in car on way here. That be $22.45, plus tip."

"What?" Sunny can't decide if she's more confused by this kid claiming not to be Jimmy, or by the exorbitant price he's charging for two pizzas he already consumed.

Her party guests, starving and fed up with her lack of booze, file out the door as Sunny searches her purse for exact change (Tip, my ass! she thinks). As she rifles through her giant bag, searching for cash among the wadded tissues, emergency fruit snacks, and receipts that she's keeping until "someday" when she actually balances her checkbook, Sunny continues to question the boy.

Why aren't there ever caps on my ChapSticks?
And which one of the girls put an open bottle of bubbles in here?!?

"So, you aren't Jimmy?" Sunny queries, still unconvinced. "You look just like him. Jimmy lived around here - he went missing a few weeks ago. Are you sure you didn't go out with my daughter a while back? Her name's Charmeuse..."

The hulk of a boy has been shaking his head in response, but his face looks blank, as if he's thinking of something else.

"Uhhhhhhhh..."

"Oh well," says Sunny. "I guess I'm mistaken." Then, to herself, she mutters irritably, "I never have any cash on me. I guess that was one nice thing about having Buzz around - he always had change in his pockets."

At the mention of Buzz's name, the young man's face shows a brief flicker of recognition - and anger.

"Grrrrrrrr!!!"

As quickly as the moment came, it passes - but not without catching Sunny's attention.

"Hey, wait... did you say your name is Bob... or that someone told you your name is Bob?"
________________________________

"Mmmmphh," says Buzz, shaking his groggy head.



"You're wondering where you are, huh?" The voice comes from behind Buzz, and sounds surprisingly drunk to have been able to decipher Buzz's mumbling.

Buzz has seen a lot of action movies. With his hands tied behind him, he decides to use his body weight to hop, scoot, and wrestle his chair around to bravely face his captor.
Thirty minutes later...
Buzz is quite winded by the time he makes a full turn, realizing too late that the good guy in movies is usually tied to a flimsy wooden chair, not a fully upholstered wingback.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to kidnap me?

Luckily the sweat from his exertion works the duct tape off Buzz's mouth, so when he catches his breath he's able to greet the man sitting across from him. "Nice place you have here."

The man, almost identical to Buzz aside from their shirt colors, smiles humorlessly and simply replies, "I know that you think that nobody knows, but you should know that I know that you know something about Jimmy's disappearance."

Buzz plays it cool.

Mmmmmmkay.

Not getting the reaction he was hoping for, the man gets agitated. "You think Jimmy's gone for good, but they ruled it ain't a homicide no more! He's been seen delivering pizzas! It's only a matter of time before I find him - or else I'll find a way to make you talk."

With that, the man picks up his gun and waves it around.

"Um," Buzz says, "your gun is leaking."

"What?" The man sees water streaming from the barrel of his semi-automatic weapon and throws it down. "Dangit! That dude in the toy department at WalMart swore this would look just like the real thing!"

Buzz stifles a giggle.

"It don't matter!" the man yells. "I'll find out what happened to my boy one way or another!"

Huh?

"Your boy?" asks Buzz.

"Yes, my boy. Dangit, Buzz, don't you even know who I am?"

You mean besides the guy who isn't sharing his booze?

"Sure I do," replies Buzz. "You're Buster. My brother."

Whhaaaaat?
Buster is Buzz's brother?
But I thought Buster was Maggie's ex-husband!
And didn't Buzz and Maggie used to get freaky together in high school?
That's messed up!
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Neither do I!


The drama continues next time - until then, please feel free to catch up on previous episodes of As The Dollhouse Turns. Then click the Top Mommy Blogs banner below while I drink this miniature bottle of wine and call a miniature therapist.

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I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


17 comments:

  1. But then that means Jimmy and Charmeuse are cousins!!! GASP!

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  2. I have to go get a manicure--I have no fingernails left!!

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    1. Don't worry, free imaginary manicures are included in the imaginary salary for my art director, of course!

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  3. Gasp is right....oh this is getting even more good Robyn, why isn't Buster sharing his booze? so many questions so many relatives??HMMM??

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    1. A lot of these people are stingy with the booze, aren't they? That's because I like to put a little of my own personality into the characters. ;)

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  4. "I know that you think that nobody knows, but you should know that I know that you know something about Jimmy's disappearance."

    Beautiful. It's like poetry.

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  5. GASP! Wait...what? I'm so confused, but it's hilarious!! Devan

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    1. No worries, I'm confused, too. Maybe I should start having *all* the characters wear name tags. And carry bios with them everywhere. ;)

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  6. Hi Robyn. Just hoping on to say hi. I haven't been on the blog in awhile- 2 kids being sick, work, etc- blog hopping as been to a minimal. But I miss reading your posts and hope to hop on much more frequently now. So now I am confused, is this a short story you are doing?

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    1. Hey, Melissa, glad to hear things are getting back to normal! As The Dollhouse Turns is the soap opera in Zoe's dollhouse, so it's an ongoing series; you can catch up on past episodes if you want, either by clicking the link at the end of this post, or the button with Sunny's face on the left sidebar. I'm SO happy you're back - I was just thinking about you yesterday, wishing I was organized enough to get on Saturday's Laughs. ;)

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  7. BAM! Just wait until the big Bo and Hope wedding.

    I'm quite fond of all the close-ups. And the shot angles. Crazy.

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    1. The big Bo and Hope wedding - and this is why I love you.

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  8. I would NEVER admit to being related to someone who wouldn't share their booze with me. These people are ANIMALS! I can't watch. I can't tear myself away. As The Dollhouse Turns is my new Real Housewives-esque obsession. Love it. Love you.

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    1. I know, what a bunch of sickos, right? For the record, I'd always share my booze with you. No lie.

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?