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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Either I'm Awesome Or You're Crazy

Let me start by saying OHMIGAWD I'm so sorry  to the sweet, thoughtful folks mentioned below; I'm sure you're all thinking I'm an ungrateful twit, but actually I wrote this post months ago (that's like four lifetimes in BlogTime) and thought I posted it already. THAT, my friends, is just how organized I am. I'm sorry. I suck. I owe you each a beer. Or wine, if you prefer.


Okay, moving on, because if I sat around wallowing in my rudeness every time I perpetrated a social blunder I'd never get anything else done . . .

I don't know what I've done to deserve all this love (assuming these people don't hate me by now), but I find my lap overflowing with more than just the usual squirming children and out-of-control muffin top today - I've been gifted with wonderful blogging awards from some of my favorite bloggers!



The Liebster Blog Award came from my buddy Laura at Stroller Parking Only way back in JULY.  At this point I can't even remember anymore how I found her blog, much in the same way she probably can't remember why she gave me an award, but I'm glad I did because she always has me giggling, which is a good trick because I'm not much of a giggler. I snicker, and scoff, and laugh out loud in a way I've been told is "endearing" (which is a nice way of saying "freakish") so giggling is a welcome change of pace for me.

The rules state I need to answer the 11 questions Laura kindly provided.  So hereyago:


1. Do you bother getting dressed if you are not leaving the house that day?  I don't bother getting dressed even if I do  leave the house. For real. If you've ever met me in real life, chances are you've seen my PJs.

2. Are leggings pants?  Yes. But not jeggings, because I don't understand them. Do they have pockets? How does that work? Don't they stretch out and become all un-pocket-shaped? Or would that just be on me and my gigantic hindquarters? Am I jealous because I don't have a pair?

The answer to all these questions is maybe.

3. How do you keep your little ones entertained while you cook? (Seriously. I’m asking because I desperately need ideas!)  Laura probably doesn't care about this one anymore, since by now I bet her baby is in college, but for the record, Maddie usually sits in her high chair and plays with an ice cube. If a meal can't be prepared in the time it takes her to get totally chapped and frozen, I guarantee we haven't eaten it since she was born.

4. Real Housewives shows- love or hate (or hate to love)?  Hate, unless the definition of "real" changed without me knowing. (Secret confession: actually I've never seen an episode, mostly because I'd probably secretly love it if I did.)

5. What are your goals for your blog?  To become crown empress of the universe.

6. If you were a stroller, what kind of stroller would you be?  The 11-year-old stroller that I still use and has served me through three babies: an old, beat up, Jeep stroller that's been pushed through so many miles there's no tread on the tires. It may not be new or sleek or have fancy features, but it's sturdy, and reliable, and has a lot of life left in it.

Wait, that's not like me at all.

7. Do you close the door when you go to the bathroom if no one's home?  Are there times when no one is home?!? Only during a fire evacuation, in which case I'd just pee down my leg.

8. How many different homes have you lived in over the years?  One throughout my childhood; I was lucky to have strong roots and a great neighborhood full of kids my own age. Since then... nine.

9. What’s the best part about being a mom?  Stuff like this:
10. What’s the hardest part about being a mom?  Everything else.

11. How did you chose your child(ren)’s name(s)?  Jake was a preemie, so his name was chosen because it was on the short list of names we hadn't ruled out yet when the nurse came in demanding to know what we were going to call him.  Zoe was the only name that we could agree on for her - we were in a total name stalemate because he was blind to the awesomeness of all the names I liked, and his favorite names were stupid (hahaha, JUST KIDDING). For Madeline we had a list of three or four possibilities and we couldn't decide, but didn't want to go to sleep without giving her a name on the day she was born. Just before we collapsed from exhaustion, Gerry wrote her name on the dry-erase board in the hospital room, and somehow we both instantly knew it was perfect for her.


She was lucky we didn't name her Blueberry.

Yes, I'm aware that I totally looked like Nick Nolte's mug shot.
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I think there were some other rules, but let's just mumble ahemcoughcough over those and move on, and also pretend like those 11 questions cover the rules for all the other awards, shall we? Trust me, you'll thank me for it.

Nextly came the Very Inspiring Blogger Award from the witty One Funny Motha!  Her sense of humor is so dry I use it to style my hair after I shower. I mean, like a hair dryer, not like gel or Aquanet hairspray. Because that wouldn't make any sense. GAH, never mind, this analogy sucks. Besides, I don't even style my hair.  Or shower.


Then, even though that was like 100 years ago and she probably thought I didn't care and just wiped my feet on her Very Inspiring Blogger Award and then flushed it down the commode, One Funny Motha was sweet and forgiving enough to honor me recently with the Liebster Award - she Liebs me, and I Lieb her like crazy right back. That's for real. Even though even MORE recently, she specifically refused to fork over the Versatile Blogger Award just because I was snotty and ungrateful about the last two awards. Sheesh!



I'm pretty sure she still Liebs me, though - just in case, I'm going to Lieb her twice as hard to make up for it.

Not to worry, though - as if that weren't enough to satiate my enormous ego, the super funny Kristina at There's No Time For Pants was kind enough to nominate me for The Versatile Blogger!  Her posts are always a treat as she seems to specialize in making me laugh and can make stuff funny that isn't even supposed to be funny, and as such is a woman after my own heart.



A few days later, the very thoughtful Jay at Crafty Spices also nominated me for the old VB (that's what I'm calling The Versatile Blogger now, because I can), so now I have one to display on each of my marble fireplace mantels.


Then my good friend Sue at Wub Boo Mummy, who's so very funny and obviously needs to start doing all my computery graphics stuff for me, invented  an award that looks cool and has NO RULES and clearly has the best name evah.


wubboomummy.com



And finally (by which I mean you're finally almost to the end of this post - I don't mean to imply that I've been waiting impatiently for these gals to shower me with awards - though that's also true) the funny, crafty, great-advicey Erin and Ellen at The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms gave me a Kreativ Blogger honorable mention (because I'd already received it at the time they wrote their post) which was completely awesome.

Thanks so all you sweet and thoughtful souls for sweetly thinking of me as you graciously doled out blog awards. As is tradition here at HTV, I'm not passing any love on because I'm afraid of leaving someone out and offending the few friends I have left in the blogosphere. Which is code for "I'm selfish and lazy," but is also still mostly true.


WHAT? You didn't get me an award?
Well, it's not too late to click the banner below - I gratefully accept vote love, too!
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


32 comments:

  1. I am totally going to have to check these out.
    Anyone that you find funny HAS to be good.

    Oh, and to get you back....

    Porn!
    Did it work?
    ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'll tell you what - at this point it couldn't hurt. ;)

      Delete
  2. Congrats on the fabulous awards! And that was one blue baby (but so frickin' cute!).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And yeah, she was born purple, but she wore it well. ;)

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  3. Don't feel bad about the late award thank yous. We've been working on a thank you post for about six months now. The good news is it's almost done and will probably be posted in the next couple of weeks. The bad news is you'll probably read it and think "This took them 6 months to write?".

    But the other good news is that you're one of the people thanked in it. Now you're probably thinking "I gave you guys an award? I don't remember that." Hopefully that's not other bad news.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I can hardly wait to read it! And of COURSE I remember giving you guys an award. Unless I didn't and you're just kidding, in which case I don't remember.

      Delete
  4. I have an award I'd like to give you--my "fishducky approved" button! Can you give me an email address to send it to? I'm at fishducky@budandfran.com.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww, Fishducky, I'm honored! If you sent it to HollowTreeVentures at gmail dot com I'll proudly display it on my sidebar - thanks! :)

      Delete
  5. Don't Lieb too hard. I don't want you to hurt yourself. I understand it's hard constantly attending award ceremonies and clearing off mantel space (good thing you have 2 marble ones) for all the awards you get, but I seriously had no idea how wonderful you were. You are inspiring, versatile, Kreativ, awesome, Liebed and even spicy I think (b/c you got that award from Crafty Spice. Was he one of the original Spice Girls?)

    And smart. Next I'm gonna give you the Smart Blogger Award and maybe the award for Best New Daytime Web Drama that takes place in a Dollhouse. It was very wise of you to hold on to all the awards & cover them in one shot that way you only have to come up w/ 1 lists detailing personal information for each of the 10,000 awards.

    And thx: "Her sense of humor is so dry I use it to style my hair after I shower."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry, I'll Lieb you but in small, concentrated doses, so as to avoid straining myself. I expend enough energy as it is, restraining myself from revealing all my personal info in list form over the course of multiple posts, even though I KNOW the internet needs to know stuff like whether I wear boxers or briefs and whatnot. BECAUSE I'M FASCINATING! Okay, not really.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. You get two boxes of wine because you put up with me so graciously. Unfortunately, I drank them both.

      Delete
  7. Here I am thinking you're freaking gorgeous in your hospital picture, and you think you look like Nick Nolte. Man, I don't even want to THINK about who I look like if that's the case!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are too kind - but there must be something about the combination of sweat and desperation that makes Nick's and my hair freak out in similar ways.

      Delete
  8. Sorta just now getting caught up on the awesomeness that is your blog, Robyn. No surprise about all the awards, you keep me laughing and smiling throughout most of your posts, which I'm a fan of. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a perfectly lovely thing to say - thank you very much! I'm glad you're here. :)

      Delete
  9. what the @?!@!...for 35 years i thought that 'awesome' and 'crazy' were synonymous...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They ARE - I could've called this post Either I'm Crazy or You're Awesome and it would've made exactly the same amount of sense. ;)

      Delete
  10. How do I get my hands on that awesome farting unicorn award?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the beauty of the Farting Unicorn - there are no rules to the award. So steal it, I say! There's no rule saying you can't, but you certainly have my blessing - you totally deserve it.

      Delete
  11. Whew! Just in time to prevent me from going all "Fatal Attraction" on you. "I will not be ignored, Robyn!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dang! I was WAITING for you to go all Fatal Attraction, but then I gave up hope and went ahead and published this post. So close! Next time, maybe?

      Delete
    2. So "close" as in "Glenn Close?" ha ha.

      Delete
  12. Good work, lady! Oh, and btw, I AM crazy, but you are also awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hopefully we're both a little of both. Thanks again for the award, and your patience waiting for my reesponse. ;)

      Delete
  13. Thank you for honorable mentioning us for honorably mentioning you!

    Now, Point 1: You look lovely in your hospital picture. Now that that's cleared up, how do we get our blog to fart unicorns? Seriously. And there is no Point 2. Even we are not awesome enough to come up with a Point 2 when Point 1 leads into mentioning a unicorn AND farting. Ellen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can be difficult to work unicorns and farting and hospital pictures into one blog comment, and to reward your success I bestow unto you the Farting Unicorn! Steal it from my blog and love it well; I'm sure it will find an exceedingly happy home on your blog.

      Delete
  14. At first I thought the picture of the white board was a graphic you'd stewed up. I thought, "Wow, that's a pretty accurate reproduction." Derp.

    Both you and our daughter are gorgeous. And awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Almost forgot. I'd like to point out that I am not the person you are talking about in the excerpt below.

    "Jake was a preemie, so his name was chosen because it was on the short list of names we hadn't ruled out yet when the nurse came in demanding to know what we were going to call him. Zoe was the only name that we could agree on for her - we were in a total name stalemate because he was blind to the awesomeness of all the names I liked, and his favorite names were stupid (hahaha, JUST KIDDING)."

    Just sayin'. That wasn't me. Just to keep that straight.

    Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let the record show that The Third Partier speaks the truth. When Maddie was still being incubated, he even allowed me to leave my RIDICULOUS pregnancy-hormone-induced our-daughter-is-going-to-be-a-fairy-inspired name on the list right up until the very end. Nice restraint, honey.

      Delete
    2. I liked that name enough, but when she was born... no wings.

      Delete

Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?