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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The REAL School Calendar

Holy crap, another school year is upon us.

It gives me stomach cramps to think about the fact that Jake's in fifth grade already.  Of course in my eyes he's still a baby, hesitant to board the school bus bound for kindergarten.

"Noooo, don't do it," I screamed
(mostly) inside my head.

When the bus pulled away, little 3-year-old Zoe cried inconsolably.  I took her to a playground to try to distract her, but she just buried herself in the sand and refused to play all by her sweet little lonesome self without her brother.

"You want to be alone? Oh, okay, honey.
Shucks.  I'll be over here on this bench
with the book I haven't had time to read
since your brother was born."

School has gotten a lot less traumatic, for all of us, over the years.  Part of what makes it easier to cope is that there are fewer Scary Unknowns - you notice the school year has a familiar, predictable rhythm once you've gone through it a few times.

However, things still tend to get hectic and sometimes even the most seasoned Lunch Monitors and Field Trip Chaperones can lose track of time.  So whether you're an old pro, you've just sent your first baby off to kindergarten, or your kids are out of the house and you just want a reminder of what you're missing, I created a calendar to walk you though what you can expect each month of the school year.

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


Real school calendar by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV






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11 comments:

  1. Ok, the Valentine's Day card thing made me burst out laughing! Even though my kid is still a toddler and I don't have to deal with that yet, I remember from when I was a kid. Those darn boxes never had the right amount of cards for your class. You always had to buy more boxes than you needed and always had some left over.

    Ahhhhh Hallmark, I see what you did there.... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're pretty sneaky, aren't they?!? I still occasionally find one of the extras that Zoe had left over from a box of Disney Princess valentines we got two years ago. Stupid things are everywhere.

      Delete
  2. Fabulous! I commented on Britely, but thought I would say "Hi" here. Hi!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, you're awesome!

      And, "Hi!" ;)

      Delete
  3. I may have asked this before but how bad would it be if I never sent my kids to school?

    P.S. Home schooling doesn't sound any better to me either if you were about to suggest that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gah, my kids would never learn anything if I homeschooled. I'd tell them, "Let's do school tomorrow. Today is breakfast, followed by 7 hours of the Quiet Game, because being patient enough to be the last one to talk is an important life skill."

      After a couple semesters of that, I'm sure the state would put them in public school. Probably me, too.

      Delete
  4. I think you forgot that by week two the girl child will have switched crushes, then switched back, and possibly switched back again. And that by November I will be in jail for "taking care" of the weird dad (if he's even a dad in real life) who tried to chat you up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're correct so far - we've had the first crush switch, as one boy threw an acorn at her face. So far no creepy faux dad, though. Whew.

      Delete
  5. Very funny. I laughed out loud at so many!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks - glad you could relate! ;)

      Delete

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