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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Oh, snap - curtains!


Mama’s Losin’ ItI'm linked up today with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, responding to the prompt, "When was the last time you made something with your hands and what was it?"

I know you're thinking it was those popsicles I made with a bag of cherries and two scoops of failure, but it wasn't.  The last thing I made was curtains.

It started when 17-year-old Kennedy came trudging upstairs on his hind legs to greet the morning, which (in case you forgot) is postponed until smack in the middle of the afternoon for teenagers.  As he appeared bleary-eyed in the kitchen, he mentioned that he'd made a blanket fort in his room.

Of course Gerry and I switched immediately from teasing him about sleeping until 2 PM to teasing him about being eight years old. Because we're mature and supportive like that.

But it turned out he'd made a fort because the sunlight in his room was keeping him awake.

Because he doesn't have curtains.

Because I suck at step-momming and  decorating.

So I dropped what I was doing (nothing) and set about making some curtains for him out of whatever spare fabric I could find.

The funniest part is that I marked this pic with my website
name, as if someone is going to Google "crappy curtain"
and steal my precious photo.
This is one of them.  The ribbon is actually at the top, but I took the picture upside-down thinking I could just flip it over and it would look fine, which just goes to show I know nothing about perspective.  It also goes to show I'm too lazy to take another picture.

I didn't bother to hem the bottom (it's the selvage edge, and thus is self-hemmed where I come from), or the sides (okay, that's just laziness again), yet in hindsight it still seemed like a lot of trouble to go to just to make a plain piece of fabric look exactly like a pillowcase.


The rod pocket.
Now all we need are some curtain rods.
Believe it or not, this is finished.  Let's pretend like I purposefully made it "rustic" because he's a guy and all.

The only part that might conceivably be considered clever is that I hid a snap under the ribbon, with another strip of snaps hanging down sewn onto the back.  That way, in case Kennedy ever decides he does want to see the light of day, he can gather the curtain up, wrap the strip of snaps around to the front, connect it to the snap under the ribbon, and hopefully that'll hold the curtain up.

It would probably have been a lot more clever if I hadn't broken two sewing machine needles trying to sew the snaps.

Or if I could adequately describe the relative cleverness of the snap-based curtain hoisting system with my clumsy word-based talking system.



I bet it would be really easy to see what I meant if I included a picture of the curtains in action, but our curtain rods are hopelessly trapped under a pile of boxes in the storage room.  So naturally we put the curtains up with thumb tacks (classy!), and I can't take a picture of that because you know I'd rather die than reveal to you how lazy and disorganized I am.  Ahem.

I'll take pictures soon, though, because I'm sure the tacks are just a temporary solution.  In the same way that I temporarily hung an obnoxious decorative horn on a nail in our living room as a joke.  Three years ago.

Please click below to vote for me if you enjoyed my sewing tutorial, including such helpful tips as:
Don't bother to iron your fabric, because who cares?
and
Be sure to curse profusely throughout the process.
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory



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49 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you! ::blushes:: Luckily I rarely finish a sewing project, so I have plenty of random unused supplies sitting around.

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  2. Thumb tacks or duct tape DUH Epitome of klass. But they look great; I wish I knew how to sew. I keep saying I'm going to take classes (but then I say the same thing about swimming, so, yeah).

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    1. Well, I'm cheating by using a sewing machine - you should see me try to sew by hand. It's basically just a lot of poking myself in the finger with a sharp needle and knotting thread until I give up. ;)

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  3. That is very cute. I might have to do that. We took down all the curtains when we moved in b/c the looked like they belonged in a nursing home.

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    1. Ha! I swear people take down their real curtains and hang up tattered hobo rags right before they move out of a place. Or maybe I buy all my houses from dirty hobos.

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    2. that second thing, dirty hobo house buyer.

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    3. Watch it - you live here, too, ya know! Besides, he wasn't a dirty hobo; based on the mail we still get for him, he was just your average bail-jumping ex con. Big difference.

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  4. You rock! I'd love to be able to sew, too. My curtains would look like ridiculous! Yours are really cute!

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    1. You should see some of the stuff I've sewn - it's hit or miss. Thanks, though! :)

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  5. Ooh, it's all Martha Stewart up in here today. Is it just me or is that ribbon glowing in kind of a mesmerizing manner--a la The Baby?

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    1. Everything here glows. Related: We live right by a nuclear power plant.

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  6. Curtains? You made curtains? If you start making matching outfits for the children and singling, "High on the hill lived a lonely goater.", I will....well, I will...join in. Who am I kidding. I'll love you even with your curtain and popsicle making.

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    1. Send me your measurements - I need you to be in costume for family photos in a few weeks (This year: polka dot jumpers!)

      I'm just kidding, obviously.

      I already have your measurements.

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  7. LOL, this reminds me of a friend who was exclaiming over the cafe curtains I made for my dinette. Seriously, they are two rectangles of fabric held up with little clips that hang on a curtain rod. They way she was going on you would have thought I just designed and executed a wedding gown for Paris Hilton. And the kicker is, I am so terrible at sewing (I have no patience) that on two of the panels (out of three) I had to re-do them because I sewed them INSIDE OUT!!! LOL! SOOOOO typical me at the sewing machine!

    I like your snap idea, BTW...may have to steal that in 15 years when I have enough sewing amnesia to attempt to make them again.

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    1. Don't look too closely - the curtain rod on one of our kitchen windows is crooked because I got tired of trying to get the bottom of the curtain even. BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE.

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  8. Great job on the curtains! thanks for sharing this project!

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    1. You're welcome - thanks for visiting!

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  9. I'm a great fan of "whatever works." Sunlight was a huge problem in my husbands and my bedroom EVEN with curtains because our bedroom is on the East side of the house---but the solution was to paint white walls in our room a darker color. (white reflects light.) It's amazing how much that helped.
    You haven't got to the "I want paint my room black" age yet!

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    1. I'm sure he'd have tried something like that, but when we finished the basement I was in an, "If I'm painting all this I pick the color" mode - I wasn't about to buy 50 colors and have a different paintbrush in each one! :)

      I have the same problem in my room. Our headboard is in front of the offending window, so when we moved in Gerry threw a blanket over it to block the light - and it's still there! Mostly because the headboard is blocking my access to put up darker curtains. Hmmm. Painting the room is a great idea - I'd love to see my headboard again! :)

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    2. Meh. It looks like the footboard (?) but taller.

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    3. I'm sure it does, but the footboard's covered with not-quite-dirty-enough-for-the-laundry clothes, so I don't remember what IT looks like, either! ;)

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  10. Someday we'll live in a world where we have finally put an end to this sunlight nightmare that has plagued our lives for what seems like eternity.

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    1. I have a feeling I'm going to regret making it *easier* for him to sleep until dinnertime.

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    2. That's why Mr. Burns was shot Christian. It's a dangerous business.

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    3. True, but Mr. Burns was blotting out the sun for greedy reasons, whereas Christian recently mentioned HTV on his blog so he gets to do whatever he wants. I mean, I'm not a legal expert, but I think that's how it works.

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    4. Exactly, Christian! That is why when the pediatrician or "pusher" likes to tell me that all the kids need Vitamin D, I like to state the obvious that the sun has gotten us NOwhere and that I'm not about to start getting my kids addicted. Everyone knows that D is the gateway vitamin.

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    5. Yep. At first it's all fun and games, and before you know it you've started taking minerals, too.

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  11. Whoa. I'm not certain that I have the right to comment here...I'm sort of feeling overshadowed by your crafty awesomeness.

    If I ever *do* attempt this project? I will be sure to swear up a storm. Works for me.

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    1. I swear as a matter of course, I just noticed some *extra* swearing during this project, mostly while I was changing the sewing machine needle.

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  12. In the same way that I temporarily hung an obnoxious decorative horn on a nail in our living room as a joke. Three years ago.

    Hehhehe. Sounds like me.

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    1. Seriously, there are parts of my home that are just an accidental nightmare. :)

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  13. Dropped by from Mama Kat's...and I've gotta say, it looks better than anything I could do. I don't sew, I hot glue. ;)

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    1. I used to do that, until I burned all my fingerprints off. :)

      Thanks for visiting!

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    2. You told me you did that on purpose so you could "disappear" your old college roommate.

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  14. :D love how you're laughing at yourself. I've had plenty of those "failed" projects. kaye—the road goes ever ever on

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  15. That is so creative Robin! I don't think I could do this if I tried. Good job mama!

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    1. Thanks! And I bet you could - let's face it, I didn't set the bar very high. :)

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  16. ~snicker~ sometimes i'm not sure if i feel better about myself when i find out that i'm not the only one who does some things in a certain way (ie quickly and occassionally *not perfectly*) or worse for the people i find out are like me...i think that we should meet somewhere in the middle and just admit we're both freaking awesome...even with your ugly horn and my blue plaid blanket thumbtacked up over the bedroom window after our blinds broke...

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    1. Of COURSE we're awesome! We're *resourceful,* so even after the rest of modern society has crumbled, we'll be able to decorate with whatever's left. :)

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  17. I want to know more about the horn. Is it like the blue horn Ted stole for Robyn? (Hoping you watch "How I Met Your Mother). Me thinks there is a blog post in that story!
    *stoppin' by from MamaKat

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    1. Ha! No, it's some metal horn that, according to my mom, is probably toxic so I don't even know if it blows (horns? toots?) because she has me paranoid about putting it on my mouth. It is, however, a great thing to hang on the giant, oddly placed nail that was lodged in our wall when we moved in. :)

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    2. The horn looks like a beat-up version of the Christmas-y horn you see spilling out of Santa's bag in all those old Coca-Cola-type ads along with a ball, a top, and some kind of rocking horse or toy train. It goes with my "Christmas til Valentine's Day" tradition of keeping the tree up as long as I can get away with not taking it down. True story: this last year, Robyn got so tired of it that she enlisted her Marma to come over while we were gone and take it down "for us." (read: for her) Or maybe it was Marma's idea...

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    3. Hmm, I don't remember whose idea it was, I just remember her finding a saucy note I put in the tree for you ON VALENTINE'S DAY the year before since it was still up in Februrary, so I figured I'd redecorate it with inappropriate messages. Apparently I didn't get them all out when we took the tree down the prior year. Awkward.

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  18. This is so many levels of awesome I don't even know where to begin.
    You helped a kid solve a problem without being asked 10 times why you haven't done what you said you would do yet. That automatically makes you a better mom than me.

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    1. It's easier to do stuff for Kennedy because he NEVER asks for anything. If he'd asked me to make curtains, he'd probably still be waiting. The other kids should find a lesson in that. ;)

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  19. You're the best, Baby Bird. At least the thumb tacks are the same kind of silvery glowy color as the ribbon.

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