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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The 7 Stages of Putting Baby Back To Sleep

We've all been there.  It's 3:00 in the morning, and...










1 click below = 1 vote for a face palming mama who's on pot of coffee #2.

Have you ever noticed how two pots of coffee don't really make you feel any less tired, but they do make your brain buzz like a zillion hummingbirds are trapped inside it? Yeah, that.
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21 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! I'm sorry, that totally sucks, but it's hilarious. I babysat my nephew when he was really little (couldn't talk yet), and it was three solid hours of crying for no apparent reason (I tried bottles, diaper checks, entertainment, nothing worked). I went through all of the steps mentioned above except the coffee one, because it was in the evening. Around step 4 (anger), I remember telling him in a super-sweet voice: "You know this is why babies sometimes get shaken, right? I mean, I'm not directly threatening you, but..." Of course, I would NEVER EVER EVER do that. And when my sister came to pick him up, all of a sudden, he was all smiles again.

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    1. I've SO been there! I've told my kids about how some babies get left on other people's doorsteps, and that children who won't stop crying are the ones who get a monster under their bed, and all sorts of things (of course when they couldn't understand me) - hey, at that point, it's just whatever keeps you sane, right?

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  2. We have threatened our children with the gypsies on more than one occasion. Actually, it's a pretty regular thing. One of these days they are going to see a colorful caravan and panic! "Mommy wasn't kidding!"

    And really, because of all of the things listed in your post, my second child sleeps with us most nights. I never WANTED to be a co-sleeping Momma, but I am. I'm also never having another child (because, honestly, HOW would we even make one with our toddler in bed with us??) You people with more than two children amaze me...HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON?!?!?!?!!? =D

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    1. I know, I didn't intend for Maddie to still be sleeping with us, and every morning I'm filled with resolve to make her sleep on her own. But every night I'm faced with the choice between taking her to bed with me or getting zero sleep while she screams in her crib, and the answer is, "I'll put her in her crib... tommorrow."

      And no, I've learned NOTHING! :)

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    2. LOL...we say the SAME THING!!! Big G can and will go to sleep on his own (4 years). Little G (2 years) has occasionally fallen asleep on the couch next to us, but NEVER in his bed. Ever. Once in a while he will stay asleep in his bad all night, and although it is rare, it is starting to happen more often. Now, if I can only get him to sleep at a reasonable time. (Read: earlier than 10:30)

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  3. you're awesome, baby! for one thing, i love love love these illustrations and they're funny as hell. for seconders, it's pretty much an accurate representation of what actually happened. plus, you always let me go back to bed, which is a pretty big deal to me. mew.

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    1. Thanks, babe - and you've gotten up with her quite a bit yourself, at which time I don't exactly toss and turn with Mommy Guilt. ::snore:: :)

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  4. I DID NIGHTS THE 1ST WEEK HOME WITH THE NEW GRANDBABY AND NOW HE IS 4 MONTHS OLD I SPEND 2XS A WEEK OVER THERE I SO REMEMBER THIS EVEN BETTER WITH IT BEING SO FRESH AND HAVING THE DAUGHTER CALL AND TALK ABOUT HOW HE JUST WANTED TO BE UP. THE ILLUSTRATIONS WERE PERFECT ...YOU ARE SO TALENTED IN YOUR STORY TELLING. THANKS FOR REMINDING ALL MOMS OF THOSE CLOSE MOMENTS OF DESPAR AND THEN THE AHHH ONES :))

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    1. Thank you so much!

      Wow - nights for the first week home?? That's pretty huge, I bet your daughter was relieved to have the help. :) Just let me know which nights you're free and can come over to sit with my baby. ;)

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  5. But see? The baby gave you a few extra hours to draw some pretty pictures you wouldn't have otherwise drawn. Thanks Maddie for making my day!

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    1. Hmm, you're right, when you put it that way it sounds like I should almost be grateful, and yet... ;)

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  6. Oh. My. God.
    You are sofa king funny.
    This is epic.
    I love you.

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    1. Aww, thanks - you know I love you too, girl!

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  7. This is fabulous! And TOTALLY some of my night last night! :)

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    1. I'd say I'm glad you could relate, except that almost sounds mean! I am glad I'm not alone in my middle-of-the-night breakdowns, though. :)

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  8. Wow, I felt as if you were telling my story from Monday night. Is it bad that I knew he would sleep well last night from the mix of shots and Tylenol? Well, he did and I am ever so thankful!

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    1. No, there's nothing wrong with that! Good for you, I'm glad you got some sleep. :)

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  9. Oh man haven been there, and will be again soon. Oh s soon. I'm scared!!

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    1. There's nothing to do but close your eyes and dive in! Well, not really close your eyes, since you don't get to do that for another year and a half, but you know what I mean. I feel your pain!

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  10. Replies
    1. Probably because I wrote it as it was happening - she actually fell asleep as I was finishing the last panel. :)

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