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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Yahoo! for divorce

In case you didn't hear the news, which is being broadcast 24 hours a day via the girlish scream inside my head, I got an article published on Yahoo! Voices - yup, that's right, a real life grown up article!

Because I was strutting around at home as if I'd just single-handedly invented the written word, it wasn't hard to discern that Something Was Up, not even for a 10 year old boy with his face buried in a video game.

Gerry explained my behavior by telling the kids, "Your mom got an article published today!"

"Really?  What's it about?" Jake asked.

Gerry quickly responded, "Well, it's an adult topic - you can read about it when you're older."

Without looking up, Jake nodded knowingly and said, "Oh, is it about karate chopping your son repeatedly on a daily basis?"

No, Smartypants, it isn't (not yet,  she says, making notes for future article), but it sounds like I'm going to have to change my standard threat from, "I'm gonna karate chop your head" to something else - maybe, "Don't make me bust my foot on your rear," or something.  I'm open to suggestions...

Actually, the article is a glimpse at the story behind my divorce and (since they're somewhat related, if you hadn't already gathered as much) the story of how Gerry and I got together.

Of course you know how super-wordy I can get (I've heard some people may call it rambling), so it was hard for me to rein in my typing fingers and adhere to the length requirements.
Must add more details,  begged my fingers as they tippity tapped the keyboard.

Must stay under 750 words, you idiots, my brain scolded as she forced them to use the delete key against their will.
But the article does give the bones of the story, and writing it inspired a desire to flesh it out - gory details and all!  And maybe I will - who doesn't like gory details?  But first things first - I hope you'll still be my friends after reading the article.  It's true, I'm not a saint, contrary to popular belief.

What do you mean  no one thinks that???


Please click the banner below (I heart your votes!) and then, if you're so inclined, take a look at my Yahoo! article - if you're still speaking to me when I come back from vacation next week, and if anyone gives a rat's patooty, maybe I'll write some future posts about our little love story, a.k.a. Why We're Going To Hell But It Was Worth It.
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23 comments:

  1. Nice. I liked the article too. I'm clipping it for my file on Best Practices for if I ever need it. Watch the karate chops and keep it to soft tissue strikes. Better for kids, better for us. G'day.

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    1. Good advice on the soft tissue strikes - I don't want to hurt my chopping hand on any bony parts.

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  2. Whoa whoa whoa....you're not a saint? I'll need some time to process this and call the Vatican. Because, I coulda sworn...

    Congrats on the article!

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    1. Thank you! And tell the Pope I said "Hi," and, "But not my TROUSERS!" He'll know what it means.

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  3. Aw Hell...I just deleted a whole thing that wasn't really my place to write because I am on my second marriage and kind of understand my first husband's point of view...

    Are you Happy? Are your kids happy? Ex husband not feeling stabby? Yes, yes and yes? Then all is well. Good for you, glad you found happiness. It is elusive and who are any of us to criticize how you got it? It takes a certain inner strength to go public and write something like that and you did it well. Kudos.

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    1. Thank you very much - I wish I could've read your original comment, though! I understand my ex's point of view, too - the whole thing was awfully complicated (Isn't it always?). It was very difficult to take that leap, so the main thing I'm always afraid won't come across is how much thought and heart and careful consideration was put into it. It certainly wasn't something that happened on a whim or without regard to all the consequences, real or potential. Anyway, thanks for reading - and always feel free to rant in the comments. :)

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    2. I think I am just super sensitive because recently a friend's marriage was rocked because a mutual friend was canoodling with friend #1's husband. But there was little to no maturity about it, mutual friend has denied all involvement (I saw the incriminating emails, I know the truth) and it resulted in all of our other mutual friends having to take sides. A LOT of relationships went to Hell because two married people couldn't keep it in their pants. So, yeah, sensitive.

      But your article (when I read it a second time with a slightly less steam coming out of my ears) shows VERY clearly that we all have our own story. Nothing is black and white, cut and dry. It seems that you really did make an effort to make things smooth for your families and there was no denial of your real feelings. We really do all deserve to be happy and you found yours in a slightly convoluted way. I should be so lucky. That's why I said that I sort of understand my EX husband's point of view...he is still a super sized butt wipe, always will be, but I kind of get why he felt the need to get out. He just went about the whole thing in a VERY bad way. Sigh...Like the sands of time, so are the Days of Our Lives...or whatever the thing is that goes along with that show...heehee...

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    3. Thank you so much for sharing, and for giving the article a second chance - I know you didn't have to do either, and I appreciate it.

      I feel for your Friend #1, and really all the friends involved - it's a horrible situation for everyone. I very briefly debated never telling my ex about my feelings (we were ripe for divorce without them, anyway) but that didn't seem fair. Or maybe it wasn't fair to hurt him with knowledge that ultimately wasn't really the cause of our split. I never could figure out which was "right." One more of those complicated things. ;) Anyway, thanks again for hanging in there with me despite the steam coming out of your ears - that's awesome. :)

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  4. Congratulations and well done! You are brave, thoughtful, and human; which probably does make you a saint, of some sort.

    Re: the threats. How about, Ima bust a cap in yo ass?? Then when he doubles over with laughter at you trying to be a gansta, he'll stop whatever annoying this he was doing.

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    1. Thank you, as always, for your kind words - and for the excellent threat suggestion. However, he laughs hard enough to double over even if I just threaten to ground him, so it doesn't take much.

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  5. I really love the article, and congratulations on getting it on Yahoo!
    I've already shared it.

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    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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  6. Congratulations. It is beautifully written. Nice to see a fresh perspective. :)
    -Laura

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  7. As a cyber stalker I devour new information and try not to disclose how much I know about you so I can appear to be completely in control of my mental faculties.

    That being said, your article was very nicely done and it's awesome that your happy. But can you be truly happy with a man who wants to make his own marionette or was this article written premarrionette admission days?

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    1. Sadly, I'm so smitten that I was aware of the marionette potential when I wrote this. True love knows no bounds - like my love for cyber stalkers. :)

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    2. I would have thought the "running for office" thing would be more of a warning sign than the "someday I'd like to make a marionette" thing.

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  8. Congrats on your yahoo article! And I'm really happy you found happiness. Life is never a straight and narrow road. hugs

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    1. Thank you! That's so true - life would be heaps easier if you could see where you were going to end up from where you started, but it would be awfully boring, too. :)

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  9. Here's a threat: Don't make me pound you into a turkey sandwich and feed you to the rooster.

    It really helps if your kids are afraid of a wide range of fowl.

    Congrats on the article!

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    1. Luckily I've instilled a deep fear of multiple animals, insects, and household objects for just such a purpose - this is an especially great suggestion because they're also afraid of sandwiches.

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  10. Your article was very engaging, and as always, well-written. You are inherently likable, and your husband sounds awesome.

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    1. Mmm hmm. Thank you, kind stranger.

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?