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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"Oh, grow up," says the baby.


Is there a better toy in the known worldiverse than a largish, empty box?
That wasn't a rhetorical question.  The correct answer is no.
Okay, I suppose it depends on who you ask.  When Gran got us a new car seat and Gerry cut some windows in the box, Maddie seemed to really enjoy her new cardboard dream house.  For a minute.

"Yeah, this is okay.  It could use a deck and
a better view and an indoor pool, but it's a good start."

But babies get bored pretty easily.  I don't mean to say they get bored with electrical outlets or smacking the cat in the face, I mean they get bored with stuff you want  them to pay attention to, like super-fun boxes and eating their food and doing your taxes for you.

"Hmm, I can't seem to get outta here this direction."
"I CAN'T GET OUT THIS WAY EITHER! HELP ME,
YOU LAZY SLOBS! QUIT TAKING PICTURES!"

So I swooped in to rescue her.  I don't know what she was complaining about - it was good times in there.


"No offense, Mom, but it's a little crowded now, with your whole
gigantic self in here.  And, ahem, can I offer you a Tic Tac or something?"
"That was not  your cue to kick me out," says the baby.
Please note that I'm taking the action photos while Gerry captures the aerial views.
Because no dorkiness goes undocumented in my house.
Also, I told  you I never wear real pants.
"Seriously?  You're staying in there?"
"Daddy, please try to keep your woman in check.
Is there nothing you can do about this situation?"
"Gah, you KNOW that isn't what I meant by "handling it"!"

Okay, okay.  Your immature parents will let you play with your dumb box; geez, don't be such a baby.

"Finally!  Huh.  Well.  ...Oh yeah, I forgot - this is lame."

One click below is one vote - stay tuned to find out if I'll ever grow up!
(Spoiler alert: I won't.)
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16 comments:

  1. In your defense, your pants aren't imaginary, because I can see them. AND, love the dual photo taking technique, very effective!

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    Replies
    1. That's true - we'd be in serious trouble if I was wearing THAT kind of "not real" pants. :)

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  2. Boxes are the best! Can I have it when you're done??

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely! It's so much fun, I'm thinking about getting a new fridge just for the giant box.

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  3. I always laugh about how kids play more with the boxes, than the things that came in them. When I was 12 I told my mom, "We should just give them empty boxes. Then you'll have enough money for more stuff to me."

    I was a super giving kid.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That just sounds like solid logic to me. It's true - without question my baby's favorite toys are this box, empty baby wipe containers, the laminated Energy Star tag from our new air conditioner, and empty string cheese wrappers. Meanwhile she has $40,000 worth of brain-stimulating educational crap that she ignores.

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  5. Your blog makes me seriously consider having another child just so I can take lots of pictures and make funny comments and liven things up. Babies are good blog fodder. Babies are cute and funny. (And I guess you're a little funny too!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooooo, don't do it!!!! Just kidding (not really). They are good blog fodder, but I should start blogging pictures of the diaper explosions and the 2 AM hissy fits too, just to offset some of the baby-ache inducing cuteness.

      Delete
  6. Ah I see you get your babies delivered in boxes too. I find it a lot more preferable than having them delivered in those incredibly large manilla envelopes. It's much easier to get them back into the box if/when you want to return them.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, although all that bubble wrap isn't exactly environmentally friendly.

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  7. This was a very cute post...loved the whole play thing!
    Laurie @ Pride in Photos

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for being here - glad you liked it! :)

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  8. Ok, ok, go ahead and flaunt your super cute baby all over the place and remind me that my baby still has two months until it decides to enter the world and allow me to fit in my pants again. Better idea..you carry this baby for a few more weeks and I'll take your cute baby as a trade. Sounds good. I'll send over the paperwork.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you fit into your regular pants again in 2 months, I'm afraid we can't be friends anymore.

      Hahahaha I'm on to you and your paperwork! At first it sounds like a great deal where I get to pig out and use my arms again, but you can't trick me into doing another third trimester - NEVAHHHHH!

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  9. i like the pic of me in the box, as it hides some of my less attractive features, like most of my face, my body, my ego...

    oh, i mean... your husband sounds awesome!

    that's one helluva cute baby. her parents must be gorgeous.

    ilu :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That baby is a helluva a cute baby, and her dad is super hawt and better stop joking about hiding in a box or else somebody's going to start posting even more pictures of somebody on sombody's blog and THEN somebody'll see who's gorgeous. Somebody. (I threw that last one in 'cause I lost track of how many somebodys there were supposed to be.)

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