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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Friday, June 15, 2012

Believe It Or Not, This Counts As Praise

Father's Day is coming up, and I'd like to take a moment to talk about my wonderful husband, Gerry.  I'm just going to go ahead and jump right into it, since I can't hear you and therefore have to assume you're enthusiastically cheering and throwing your hats in the air in celebration.  So, here we go.

Contrary to popular belief, Gerry is not perfect.

Whaaaaaat?   you gasp in disbelief.  This is quite a fine Father's Day howdoyoudo.

Yeah, Mom.  Don't look now, but he's right... over... there!

Wait a minute, we're getting to the part Gerry's going to like.  Because I'm about to put something in print that I bet he's been waiting to see for a long time.  Get ready for it...
I'm not perfect either.
(Pause for shrieks and the sounds of breaking glass and distant police sirens and people rending their clothing to tatters.)

I know, I've pretty much based a whole blog on admitting I'm a hot mess on a stick, so in the blogosphere my little announcement probably isn't all that Earth-shattering.  But here in the Reality World of my house, it's a different story.

That's quite an understatement you have going there.

See, though Gerry and I have known each other for about (does math on fingers)  16 years, we spent the first 11 years as friends, too busy being stupid to realize we were in love the whole time.  And as friends, although we adored each other's kids, we weren't really paying much attention to each other's parenting styles.

If you think about it, there are an awful lot of personality traits that don't affect platonic relationships.  For example, parenting styles.  Financial habits.  Snoring.  How many months you prefer to leave the Christmas tree up in the living room.  These things don't matter all that much when you're just buddies, but they suddenly become kinda important when you step it up to a romantic-type situation.

We dove into our romantic-type situation like a couple of gropey teenagers at a drive-in, completely schnockered on a decade of repressed Love-With-A-Capital-L, but we found out that, in addition to all the ways in which we already knew we were perfectly suited for one another, our personalities were also well-matched in the areas that didn't matter so much during our friendship years.  We are both savers, not spenders.  We both sing like lunatics for no reason, changing the lyrics of popular songs to fit whatever mundane tasks we happen to be performing.  I try to fall asleep before he starts snoring.  And so on.

Oh God, the singing - it never stops.  You have no idea.

But then there's the parenting thing.
He thinks I'm more permissive than a sack of Suckers.
I think he makes up new rules at the rate of eleventy hundred per minute.*
I'm inconsistent, picking and choosing when I enforce rules based on how tired I am and whether or not I feel like it's a big deal at that particular moment.
Gerry considers almost every moment a Teaching Moment. 
We agree on a great many of the finer points, but sometimes this disparity causes Conflict, which occasionally requires a visit from Conflict's ugly cousin, Compromise.

I call Compromise the "ugly cousin" because I didn't have to deal with her very often in my Life Before Gerry.  I was doing the parenting, and I don't know if my decisions about child-rearing were even noticed  by any other adults, let alone questioned.   So now that I'm in a partnership with a person who actually voices opinions (How dare he?),  sometimes - SOMETIMES - I can dig my heels in and resist his perspective with a stubborn relentlessness I normally reserve for refusing to acknowledge the existence of the Kardashians.

Sometimes?  There you go with the understatements again.

Yet I respect his opinions, so eventually we come back around to this Compromise business, and really - it's not all that bad.  I've learned a lot from Gerry's parenting style, and he says he's learned a little something from me, too.

He makes a real effort to relax the rules and reduce the number of "no"s we dish out, which lowers everyone's blood pressure.  Meanwhile, I agree that it probably wouldn't kill the kids to have some chores around the house - ones that I actually make them do.

Plus, he's attentive, and really listens to their stories, whereas I send them off to play Who Can Leave Mommy Alone For An Hour.  He's the best  homework helper, long after I've screamed and given up and stormed out of the room in frustration.  He appreciates every second with the kids while I'm tying sheets together in an attempt to escape from an upstairs window.  He teaches them funny jokes and facts about the solar system, while I let them eat crumbs out of the carpet and get glue stick on the table and pretend not to notice when they're playing on the stairs.

We might not approach parenting from exactly the same mindset, but that's okay.  The kids get the benefits that come from both of our approaches.  We balance each other out well, and we both come out as better parents.

As long as he admits I'm right most of the time.

Just kidding.

Not really.

Happy Father's Day, Gerry!



Aren't they cute?  Maddie's such a clever little baby - she's sure that with just a few more lessons Daddy will be able to read.  Please click below to vote - 10% of all votes received today will go to a charity dedicated to thanking Gerry for putting up with me.
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

*Please note that none of the above applies to Madeline.  She does what she wants.  We're just here to take orders and bring her things when she grunts.



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


28 comments:

  1. You are lucky indeed.

    I'm glad to see the ammendment at the end though; there's no way The Baby is taking orders from either of you. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Very true, on both counts. The baby actually made me add that part at the end, but after she released me from the head lock I had to agree she was right. See, I'mm getting good at this compromise stuff!

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  2. After Father's Day, you should have Madeline run the house for a week...give both you and your husband a break!

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    Replies
    1. She DOES run the house, but she needs to use us as her minions. I'm not sure how well she'd do without our help getting things out of the upper cabinets... ;)

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  3. Every moment is a teaching moment. For example, from reading this comment you have learned that every moment is a teaching moment.

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    1. I never saw it that way before, but I'm going to have to refuse to admit you might be right - just because. See why my husband needs those charity votes? I'm a very frustrating person (though I'll deny I ever said that).

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  4. thank you, baby. you were almost right about being right some (most) of the time. sometimes you are mostly right. and then you are just plain right a lot, it's just that those are the times you agree with me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    seriously, though. you're my favorite-est and i wanna smooch you up. and i'm gonna.

    ilu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahaha:) You're my favorite-est too, thanks for being suck an awesome papa! MmmmmuuuuuuaaAH! ilu2

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  5. Replies
    1. Sorta makes you want to throw up just a little, though, doesn't it? Just me? Oh.

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  6. I thought I was wrong once, but I was wrong about that.

    Balance in a relationship Is important like the perfect amount of peanut butter mixed with chocolate. Resses is on to something. Mmm... Resses. What was I talking about?

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    1. Ha - ditto! Relationships ARE like Reeses, except I feel like there's a disturbing, "You got your chocolate in my peanut butter, no, you got your peanut butter in my chocolate" sexual reference there that I, apparently, couldn't manage to avoid.

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  7. Great photos with the description classic. I love these tributes to our fellas for all they do for us and their children. BALANCE IS WHAT MAKES US FEEL CENTERED LOL i had a life moment there haha. Wishing you & the family a great Dads weekend.
    I tell mine I let him be right sometimes because I am bored with it!! lol

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    1. Yeah, I let Gerry believe he's right sometimes, too (unless you're reading this, Gerry, in which case you really were right.) ::wink wink::

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  8. I think having different approaches is ok. I think usually one parent is more permissive (that's me) and one does more discipline. Have a great Fathers Day!

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    1. True, and it sure helps to have someone around to balance you out, doesn't it? Have a great weekend!

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  9. I think that two different styles of parenting make the most awesome kids.
    I know this because I am the product of such a household.
    And I am awesome.
    And I blame the Kardashians for everything.
    Even world hunger.
    Happy Father's Day Gerry

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad we can both agree on your awesomeness (you forgot to mention how totally hawt you are, too, though) and about the K-dashes. I don't know if they're responsible for any shortage of food, but I know who to blame if we run out of silicone.

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  10. "people rending their clothing to tatters"
    First off, people don't use that phrase nearly as much as it deserves. Secondly, thank you for writing a really awesome post about your man being a great dad. I didn't because I forgot this weekend is Father's Day, so, subsequently, can't let Husband anywhere near your blog, lest he find out that other blogging wives don't suck as bad as me. But, he's sleeping in right now, so I guess we're even.

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    1. I know, I think there might be something wrong with me that the image of people shredding their clothing out of grief makes me laugh. And I think you should ENCOURAGE Husband to read this, as it (completely unintentionally) came out as almost an insult. Luckily Gerry has a good sense of humor, but your husband could look at it as sort of a relief that you didn't publicly call him out for being a control freak (oops). ;)

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  11. awwww - those are some stinkin' cute photos! lol
    And yes, parenting is 100% give and take.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! And I agree about the give and take - sadly, it's still a learning process for me... ;)

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  12. I am impressed how you admitted being slightly unperfect to celebrate Father's day. As long as you tak wit all back by Monday!

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    1. Oh, don't worry, I will! But what else do you get the man who has everything? Even if it's only temporary. ;)

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  13. Although single (far too long) and childless (except for my doggie), I loved reading this post because I now have inspiration: friends for 11 years before hooking up??

    I can't think of any guy friends right now that I'd want to get romantically involved with, but that's a plan for future guy friends I've yet to meet, except maybe do the friend thing for only a year or so... or less... (I'm just getting too old to wait that long-LoL!)

    Thanks for the fun read and Happy Father's Day to all Dads!

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    1. It was a loooong wait - if you can get it figured out before 11 years pass, you'll be much better off. ;)

      Also, I totally Twitter/Piterest/Yahoo/blog stalked you, and it sounds to me like there should be guy friends lined up around the block ready to kick it up a notch! Eh, guys can be so dumb sometimes.

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  14. Sounds like he's a great father!! You guys are very lucky!!

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    1. He truly is, and we certainly are lucky - I give him a hard time, but he really is an amazing dad. Thanks for your comment!

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