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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Friday, April 27, 2012

Just Checking In From Fever Village

I believe, in yesterday's post, I may have demonstrated mentioned that my mental faculties were temporarily (?) compromised by the ravages of a fever, but I'm happy to report that today I seem to be emerging from the Fever Fog.  Sense is starting to make sense again, and I even sort of wanted some caffeine this morning.
Usually if I don't drink coffee for three days straight, it's a pretty big red flag that something's terribly wrong.  Paramedics, somehow perceiving the seriousness of my condition before I even dial 911, will arrive on my doorstep with a gurney and a latte IV.  Mmmhmm, I loooove some intravenous coffee.  I wasn't even aware that I could function without coffee anymore, but maybe the lack of caffeine is why I slept for about eleventy hundred hours this week.  Huh.
So when I arrived back in the Land of the Living this afternoon, I realized a few things.
  1. My mom is awesome for coming over here every day so I could sleep as much as I needed to without tethering the baby to my ankle by an old phone cord (for safety).
  2. My husband is awesome for taking care of the kids and feeding them dinner and handling a cranky baby who was no doubt wondering, "Hey, what ever happened to that one lady who used to live here and carry my favorite beverage around on her front side?"
  3. And, OH MY EVER-LOVING DEITY OF YOUR CHOICE, the baby's first birthday is tomorrow!

You can probably gather from my reaction that I'm woefully under-prepared for the First Birthday Extravaganza.  "Under-prepared," as in I have no party planned.  Or food.  Or gifts.  I do have the baby though, so that's a start.


Procrastinate much?  I hear you asking.  Yes, I do, but in my defense I was under the (admittedly false) impression that I wouldn't be completely comatose this week, so my Big Plan was to work on it during the hours I actually spent sleeping.  And whenever the baby's birthday was brought up for discussion while I was in the Fever Fog and I was awake-ish, for all I knew we could've been debating whether or not a Pegasus can fly just on rainbow power alone or if it also needs sparklers and raisins and David Hasselhoff.  Which, come to think of it, wouldn't have made a terrible party theme, minus the raisins.  And the Hoff.

So anyway, wish me luck.  It should be interesting.  At least I'm always safe in the knowledge that, even though I might not throw her a fancy party, I love my daughter like crazy.  She is absolutely adored by this family, and we couldn't imagine life without her.  And also, she's never going to remember her first birthday party anyway.  Right?  RIGHT???


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12 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're feeling better. She's 1. She's not going to know that you threw her a crappy party. By the way, I made a pinata for Justin's first birthday. There's photographic proof. So you suck.

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  2. you wish. there is nothing you can do to get the kids to stop speaking to you. i've tried. :P

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  3. I'm glad the Fever Fog is debating and you are clearly on the way to being well because a birthday would be good with Pegasus and sparklers but not the Hoff or raisens.

    Also, happy birthday to the baby that wants to control my mind with her stare. (You might better fancy it up, I think she knows all.)

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  4. I think it's less the fever than the fact she's #5. Buy a cake on the fly, put a party hat on her, snap a pic, and call it done.
    But this is coming from the woman who started planning 2 July bdays in Jan. I am crazy weird bday lady.
    Good luck and glad you're feeling better!
    p.s. found you when you did the character assassination thing and I love your sense of humor. You make me laugh all the time! Thanks.

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  5. @Ali, you don't hafta rub it in! A pinata is a great idea, though - I'm sure I can whip one up. I'll just use the ripped-up pages of her baby book for paper mache, and fill it up with shattered dreams, unanswered prayers, and shards of broken glass (for SPARKLE!).

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  6. @thirdparty, I know - dare to dream.

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  7. @tumbleweed I'll pass your bday well-wishes along - it's a good thing, too, because she told me she was really going to unleash the hypno-gaze on you if you didn't wish her a happy bday. (Trust me, you don't want that!)

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  8. @justkeepswimming, that makes me so happy - thanks!

    You are the Birthday Planner I always wish I could be! Part of my problem is that, of the 7 of us, two have bdays right near Christmas (already overwhelmed) and three are smashed together in March (sick of cake). If I'm in the mood for it, I get really into planning a party and go way overboard - otherwise what I end up doing is getting sucked into Pinterest for 500 hours looking at a bazillion cute ideas, but then not actually doing any of them. Suely there's some middle ground there...

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  9. I found your blog from just keep swimming (awesome chick!). Anyway, love your blog.

    Fevers are the absolute worst! Glad you're back in the land of the living. So was the birthday yesterday? Hope it went well!

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  10. I'm plan your party for you! Cake. Party hats. Camera. Aaaand...done! She's one. So long as you have a picture of her with cake all over her face, you're golden. Glad you're feeling a bit better!

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  11. @Steph, so glad you're here! And yes, the birthday went fine - she didn't seem to notice there were no elaborate decorations or musical guests or visits from Elmo - whew!

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  12. @Stephanie, I couldn't agree more! Especially since that's pretty much what I did, except I'm going to have to Photoshop in some party hats. :)

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