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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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She's on The Twitter

People, listen up - I hope you're sitting, because otherwise those of you who know me might be so surprised you'll fall clean over and sustain serious head injuries, and frankly I don't really like visiting people in the hospital very much.

I am (are you ready for this?) on the Twitter.

I think.

I know, the title of the post was a bit of a giveaway, but I'm nothing if not a sucker for the anticlimactic with a flair for redundancy.

What happened?   I can hear you wondering.  I thought your feet were planted firmly in the late 1890s and you were NEVER going to use social media on the grounds that you're antisocial and also the thought of tweeting gives you heart palpitations and hives.

Well said.  And true enough.  But I've been slowly and reluctantly letting the idea seep into my head that I'm going to have to step outside my Comfort Zone (of Laziness) and get on board with some of this stuff.  However, I've been ignoring myself whenever I think about that, which is remarkably easy to do.

But then I got an email from Abby at Abby Has Issues, who if you don't already know is absolutely awesomeness, and she (brace yourselves again) asked ME if I was on the Twitter or the Facebook because SHE (still braced?) was willing to possibly consider thinking about the idea of maybe following this lil' ol' blog.  I KNOW, RIGHT?

So I pulled up my big girl britches and set out to dust off that Twitter account I was pretty sure I had, and figured out how to make it send an announcement to the world whenever I post some of this Remarkably Marvelous Drivel, and so far the computer hasn't caught on fire and no SWAT team has swooped in to take me to federal prison for an accidental violation of some Innerweb Law, so I think I might've done it correctly.  Correctly-ish, at least.

What took you so long, then?  you're probably wondering, as if you have nothing better to do.  If you'd asked me that 48 hours ago (back when you didn't care because I hadn't brought it up yet), I'd have said it was because I didn't think I had time for it - one more thing to keep track of and update, at a time in my life when I can't even follow my kids' school calendar accurately enough to prevent them from missing field trips.

But yesterday, as I sat poised on the edge of the Public Pool of tweets, my toes dangling dangerously in the tepid water of this bad metaphor, I realized the truth: I was afraid.  What if I break some Twitter rule that I didn't know about because I'm a newbie, but then everybody's irritated with me because I did something e-annoying?  What if I can't figure it out?  What if I use it too much, or not enough?  What if I say something dumb?  (This last one especially is a very real possibility, and if you don't believe me, consider the following conversation that took place last night):
Gerry:  What're you doing?
Me (squinting into the depths of my iPhone screen):  I'm learning how to Twitter.
Gerry (with almost audible eye roll):  Learning how to tweet,  honey.  It's called tweeting.
Luckily he's a patient man.

You were scared?  That's the stupidest thing I ever heard,   you're most likely thinking.  You have a public blog where you spill your guts shamelessly on a near-daily basis about what a complete tool you are, yet you think doing it 140 characters at a time is going to do more damage than that?

Boy, you really don't pull any punches, do you?  But you're right, that's true.  I never said the fear was rational.  I think underneath it all is just a plain old simple fear of change, and the fact that sometimes change can lead to public blunders and/or stress, and most certainly requires stepping outside that Comfort Zone of Laziness.  Some days I think we all feel that one more feather falling on the scale is going to upset the balance of our lives and send all the balls we're juggling crashing to the floor (another beautifully formed metaphor - you're welcome).  I had to remind myself that most change - like updating my mindset about the Twitter - can help us grow.  Growth is good.  Sometimes that growth happens in a very public forum, where everyone on Earth can potentially witness the gangly, pimple-faced, awkward stage of said growth.  But that's okay.

So if you're interested in watching me trip and fall and stub my face as I embarrass myself figuring out how to tweet, please click below...



...or click on the lovely new button I added to my right sidebar.  It should be interesting.  As soon as I get rid of these hives.

This post was written initially in celebration of (hopefully) overcoming my very real Twitter-aphobia, but also conveniently meshed with the Studio 30 Plus writing prompt this week: Changes.

Could Facebook be next???  To encourage a backward old lady who's slowly recovering from Social Media Anxiety Disorder, please click the banner below!
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14 comments:

  1. And now you're sucked into the void...
    I think I rambled enough to you in the email, but just have fun with it, my friend. When you worry about rules or obligation or popularity, it sucks all the fun out of it--out of everything, actually.

    Just enjoy yourself and don't stress out. Famous last words...

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  2. Good advice - I do so enjoy stressing about things before they even become a problem, but I'll try to loosen up a little with this. I can totally see how you could get sucked in, though - what an age to live in, when you can think, "Hmm, I wonder what the ol' Dalai Lama's thinking about..." and THEN YOU KNOW!

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  3. Following - woo hoo! Although, as is evidenced by my lack of posting (erm, tweeting), I'm not sure I know how to work the Twitter either.

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  4. Following - woo hoo! Although, as is evidenced by my lack of posting (erm, tweeting), I'm not sure I know how to work the Twitter either.

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  5. Not sure I know how to work the comment page either, apparently.

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  6. kc, you're killing me! It's pretty obvious why we're friends in real life. 'Cept I don't see you in my followers, and I would know because I now have the phone wired to deliver an electric shock whenever there's any activity so I don't miss anything. I prolly didn't set up my button right or something? Figures... Imma gonna text you and figure it out (since I DO actually know how to work the texter-majig).

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  7. SOOO funny! THE Twitter! Enjoy--and let me know if you figure it out because I am pretty sure I never will!

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  8. Nika, I can assure you I'll NEVER be in a position to give lessons; I'm shooting for the more reasonable goal of not alienating the other humans.

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  9. Yay!!! now following :) Thanks for linking up !

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  10. I like your sense of humor. Love the fact that you called Twitter 'The Twitter'. Made me smile.

    I'm following you on 'the Linky'. :)

    Regina
    www.thecrazynutsmom.com

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  11. Thanks for the warm welcome to Twitter, Jenny!

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  12. Thanks, CrazyNutsMom! I'm flattered!

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  13. I am following Robyn! I am @dentistmel. I get sucked in! You are funny! I always enjoy reading your posts. Feel free to link up to my Saturday laughs:)

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  14. Yay, Melissa!!! I'm following you back on this Twitter thing - I have to admit it's a little crack-like in its addictive qualities (but in a good, not-crackish way - unless crack is really time consuming, in which case they're pretty much the same). :)

    Thanks for hosting the link-up, as always!

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Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?