Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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How To Waste Time and Influence People

Let me begin by saying that, while it does pay the bills, my husband's job is not terribly intellectually stimulating.  So, although Gerry is an excellent employee (she subtly reminds his boss, in case he happens to read this), there are times when he needs to engage in a little... extracurricular activity, to keep himself awake and prevent boredom-induced insanity from inciting him to jam something pointy in his eye.

I've shown you before how he uses his phone to document oddities and entertain himself (and me) while he's traveling for work.  Usually he sends me pictures of random weirdness he encounters (heaven knows there's plenty of material out there).  In fact, just the other day he sent me this photo:

Gah, that sounds positively disgusting,  I thought.  What lost souls are forced to eat this stuff?   So I texted him back.

I'm sure the poor children at that school will be horrified - and then later, pleasantly surprised that they're actually having soggy grilled cheese and limp french fries instead - and then probably upset that there's no Yoo Hoo.

He also sent me this lovely, high-quality video.

He is a nerd, yes?  Well, I'm pretty sure his identity is safe, considering the back lighting and graininess factor.  It's SO high-quality that, although I've been his wife for a number of years, I didn't realize that was him until he told me (I wasn't even drinking, as far as I recall).  There's probably some way to fix it, but I'm not proud to report that it took me four hours just to learn how to remove the part of the video where the cameraman grunts, "Uh, yeah, okay" during the Magical Transition from small to giant pencil.  FOUR HOURS.  Four hours of my life spent removing 0.23 seconds of video.  Yes, I am a computer genius, thanks for asking.  Please, don't all rush at once to beg me for help with your technology-related questions, I'm all booked up for the rest of the day with plans to beat my computer repeatedly with a ball pean hammer.

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I'm going to spend my weekend digging a bunker so I have someplace to hide from my kids during Spring Break next week - I sure hope our wi-fi reaches the back yard...
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  1. I had a good snort at the "yum" behind cream of okra soup.

    Also, technology can suck it. You showed that .23 seconds who was boss! (insert Rocky theme)

  2. Tumbleweed, was that list not four of the most random food items possible? :)

    And you know what? You're right, I did sucker punch those .23 seconds (eventually)! It was just one of those things - the more time I invested, the more I just. refused. to. drop. it. But now I'm finished - woohoo (insert bottle of wine).

  3. Haha- now I know where you get your humor from:)

  4. Third Party, he actually is kind of a huge nerd. But don't tell him I said that.

  5. Melissa - Oh, the things we'll do to entertain ourselves when we're bored, eh? ;)

  6. Hahahhaahah, that's hilarious. Let's feed kids hummus. (I LOVE hummus)

  7. Gia, if there's one culinary combination kids adore, it's hummus and salisbury steak. They just don't eat it much because we're always forcing them to eat chicken nuggets and vanilla milkshakes (little known fact).

  8. That would be a weird combination to feed elementary students. Good thing it was a joke. If my son had that, he would have thrown it on the floor. And the dog would have loved it.

  9. That's a great sense of humor. We charge like $5.25 for not-much-better for our cafeteria. Guhrose.

  10. I would dig the hummus, but the rest? Not so much.

    However, we do all need to find those things to make the freaking workday bearable. I wish I could blog about my job, but instead I just passive aggressively sigh and craft voodoo dolls of coworkers out of paperclips and things I find in the recycle bin.

    Not really. I never sigh passive aggressively. I should start texting you.

  11. Oh man! The video isn't working!! But, that "menu" is awesome. :)

  12. Cassie - HA! Yeah, sometimes I wish my kids would eat like dogs, except retain just enough pickiness to keep them from eating garbage. :)

  13. Pish Posh - and I thought Gerry's price was a rip-off!

  14. Abby, I LOVE the voodoo doll idea -I don't know why I never tried that instead of actually shivving people in the bathroom (woulda saved me a lot of trouble). I also lack an ability to sigh in any way that doesn't make it perfectly clear who I'm sighing at and why, so I have to try to avoid it as much as possible. Text me any time - I have much workplace sympathy to offer, as well as evil revenge suggestions. :)

  15. That stinks, Bridget! It seems to be working now - might've been a glitch (that's the technical term for "computery thing I don't understand"). Glad you liked the menu, though!


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