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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

I'm lucky.  My husband is extremely supportive of all my endeavors and experiments, whether practical or practically insane.  He's also very complimentary of my cooking, even though about 98% of what I can make in the kitchen comes out lukewarm and beige, which doesn't always make for the most appetizing meals.  Maybe that's why he volunteers to do so much of the cooking.  Hmmmm.

Last week I decided, as I occasionally do, that enough was enough and I couldn't justify yet again making any of my old standby dinners, such as Beige Chicken in Light Beige Sauce, or Partly Burnt Beige Meat Product with a side of Beige Noodles.  So I dinked around on the innerwebs looking for a few new recipes to try, which wasn't all that easy considering no one seems to have taken up the challenge of writing the Realistic Recipe Book I suggested, and my criteria for trying something new in the kitchen is as follows:
  1. No more than five ingredients, and I have to have heard of all of them (Sorry, but I'm not scheduling a special trip to the farmers' market to hunt down some gourmet Kabocha Squash.  If I make that recipe at all, I'm substituting something that I can find within four seconds at the local grocery store, like zucchini.  Zucchini's sort of a squash, right?  See, there's part of the problem - I don't care.)
  2. Must not require me to do any Fancy Chef Maneuvers.  The key words I avoid include, but are not limited to: deglazing, Julienne, parboil, caramelize, infusion, and dredge
  3. As little prep time as possible.  I'm a very, very busy lazy person.
  4. Bonus points to any recipe that calls for meat that's still frozen, because mine usually is.
Needless to say, there aren't very many recipes out there that fit the bill.  There are, however, over eleventy million recipes that I wouldn't  make, like anything in here for instance:


Miraculously, I did find a few (non-banana) recipes I wanted to give a whirl, and Gerry picked up the ingredients for me, no doubt while he was out stocking up on Tums.  That night, the Tex-Mex Chicken dish looked and smelled wonderful, and it was more of a taupe than a beige, so that was nice.  We dug in, and all was well until we were halfway finished and I noticed the chicken was a little... off.  It was hard to tell with all the cheese, but it seemed like maybe the poultry was still a teensy bit rubbery in some spots.  We agreed it was probably fine, but just to be safe we stuck it back in the oven for approximately another seventy hours, give or take (remember, we all just had the stomach flu, so we're none too keen on tempting fate).


Dinner ended up just fine, aside from my mild embarrassment over committing such a rookie cooking error.  I sheepishly apologized to Gerry about it later, and he was quick to jump to my defense, reminding me what an easy mistake that is for anyone to make and how delicious dinner ended up being.  Supportive, as always.

"Besides," he continued, consoling me, "if you have  killed us all, at least I won't have to work tomorrow."

"Hey," I objected, feigning offense.

"I'm totally kidding," he quickly assured me.  Then, under his breath he added, "I'll probably still have to work."


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


3 comments:

  1. 1) i really do like your cooking, because it's tasty. and also because i don't have to do it.

    2) it isn't a rookie mistake to undercook chicken. chicken is notoriously difficult to get just right. add to that the fact that you're cooking it in what is essentially a casserole that you've never made, and voila - occasionally sketchy chicken.

    3) i love you. thanks for always talking me up in your blog and never mentioning what a #@*! i can be.

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh, and i believe you double posted that entry?

    oh, and i believe you double posted that entry?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha!! Love it! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and leaving such a great comment! I, of course, had to stop by yours and read about your misadventures with undercooked chicken. That banana book made me laugh out loud!! Especially since I am definitely NOT bold when it comes to bananas...I only eat them when they're green-bordering-on-almost-ripe. If there's a speck of brown on it, forget it. LOL

    Just another one of my food neuroses I guess!! Anyway, it's nice to meet you! I'm following and looking forward to reading more!

    Smiles, Jenn @Misadventures in Motherhood

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting - you're awesome! I mean, even if you're a jerk, at least it means you read my blog. RIGHT?!?

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