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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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Candy-fed Cuties

I don't know what you were up to yesterday, but at our house it was Halloween. No terrifying ghouls or goblins here - we had Captain America...


Sleeping Beauty...
and Princess Leia.

Is she SO CUTE?!?! I made that costume (oh yes I did) and you can see the tutorial here.

Okay, enough of that.  After school the kiddos hurried into their costumes, we skipped dinner (hey, we know where our priorities are), and we went over to trick-or-treat with the kids' cousin, Olivia, who was the cutest and most authentic Monster High doll ever.


It was the perfect opportunity for several (dozen) group shots.


It always astonishes me how patient all the kids are for these photo sessions.  There are approximately zero pictures of me in a Halloween costume as a kid, and do you know why?  Because the moment I got into costume I was nothing but a candy-collecting blur - there was no chance I was waiting for my mom to get a camera out.  But this is one of the ways I knew Gerry and I were compatible; our families are equally likely to get into a photo frenzy for nearly any reason (It's Easter!  You lost a tooth!  Happy Wednesday!  Hey, we're all wearing green shirts!).  This results in a brood of children who are willing to stand still for hours on end, if necessary, with unfaltering smiles plastered on their faces, even with the lure of Halloween candy dangling in front of them.

For her first Halloween, Maddie was in a pretty good mood...


...despite being put in various Star-Warsy poses by her parents...


...until she started to get tired - then the whining began.  We took her outside to wait for the Great Candy Haul-In to begin, but then a kind stranger commented that she was cute and Maddie dissolved into tears (Gerry told the woman, "She doesn't like to be looked at," which is true but probably made the lady think we were crazy).

Finally it was time to begin our assault on the neighborhood, and I had so much fun watching and listening to the kids.  Ah, the anticipation as you approach a new house, making last-minute costume adjustments, ready to score some goodies.


Zoe passed by me at one point and, talking to herself, muttered, "I am really raking it in!"  I loved how many times the kids would peer wide-eyed into their buckets to check on the size of their growing stash (which was after nearly every house).


Who can resist?  And while we're on the subject, check out Zoe's overflowing bucket!  That's because at one house, commenting on the relatively low number of trick-or-treaters, the woman leaned out her door and called out to us adults, "Where are all the kids?"  To which Zoe, walking away from the woman's door after getting her treat, turned around, raised her hand, and replied, "I'm right here."  The woman laughed and made some joke that our group should come back because she had too much candy, and that was all Zoe needed to hear to get her to go back for seconds.  As the other kids followed suit, Zoe circled around to the back of the line and went to the door again.  I eventually had to holler from the road for her to cut it out, or she probably would have completely wiped out the lady's sugar supply.

As Maddie finally slept off some of her crankiness...


...the enthusiasm of the older kids only grew.  They hustled from house to house as fast as their little legs would carry them (I love this picture).


By the time Mads finally woke up (in a much better mood)...


...it was about time to head home and let Candy Swap 2011 begin.  The Halloween Candy Swap, if you ask me, is the single best argument in favor of having a sibling that I've ever heard.


But Jake is too generous to really take advantage of the art of negotiation, so while Zoe had pulled out some pretzels and two DumDum suckers she was willing to trade, Jake just outright gave her all of his Butterfingers and Almond Joy because he doesn't like them much.  Then he came out of Zoe's room and gave a huge pile of candy to me, most of which I made him take back (I said MOST, not ALL - hey, I like Kit Kats).

Zoe, meanwhile, suddenly developed an imaginary headache (I say "imaginary" because it dissolved immediately when I suggested it might get worse if she had any more sugar) and said she wanted to be alone (in her room - with her candy - with the door closed).  I waited a few minutes before going in under the guise of asking if she felt okay, fully expecting to see chocolate smeared on her face from ear to ear.  I was surprised to see she wasn't a mess - she wasn't even chewing - and I was impressed with her restraint, until I saw her oh so casually  slip a Hershey bar into her bucket, and I couldn't help but notice the wrapper was open.  Oh well, on Halloween night the Sugar Tyrant takes a break from almost all candy-related discipline.

This morning, as we walked to school, there was a break in my conversation with Zoe.  Suddenly, out of nowhere she announced with conviction, "Well I can tell you that I did NOT  bring any candy in my backpack today."  Which means there were probably upwards of two pounds of sugar in there, but I didn't have time for a full search and seizure.

Halloween Weigh-In (no scale required):
I'm curious about everyone else's Halloween experiences and opinions, so feel free to weigh in on these or any other holiday issues by clicking the comments link below!
  • How many pieces of candy can you steal from your kids' treat stash and still convince yourself you're doing it for the sake of their physical and dental health?
  • Candy corn - trash or treasure?
  • Which is worse: toddlers dressing up as axe murderers or tweens dressing up as French maids?
  • What was the best H'ween costume you ever got to wear?
Happy Halloween, from us!



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


4 comments:

  1. So funny!! That pumpkin of Maddie's looks a lot like the many our dad carved for each one of us when we were the youngest of the bunch. Had SO much fun with you guys and the kids. Same time next year! Steph (mom of Olivia)

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  2. You know I can never pass up a quiz!!

    1.) Uh, too many to count? Enough that I also skipped dinner and woke up this morning with a bit of post-Halloween bowel trouble. TMI, I know.

    2.) Candy corn - definitely trash. The consistency is weird and it’s just too damn sweet. If I'm going to blow my Weight Watchers points on something, it will most definitely be a Kit Kat or Heath Bar.

    3.) I'm going to go with toddlers dressing up like axe murders on this one. Although, I did see a gal, who must have been all of 14, trick-or-treating in some french maid-esque costume, with her cell phone hanging out of her cleavage. Classy.

    4.) Now, I am not proud of this, but I went trick-or-treating as a freshman. I was going through an extremely morbid phase and decided it would be a good year to dress up as "death". Ah, teen angst.

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  3. kc, I hear you - I did eventually eat dinner last night (why skimp on calories?), but skipped breakfast and lunch today to make room for half of Zoe's Almond Joys (this year instead of dental health, my justification for eating Z's candy is satisfaction of the Cosmic Halloween Balance since she got so much more than Jake). I used to agree on the candy corn, until Stephanie introduced me to GOURMET candy corn, which is delicious (THANKS A LOT, STEPHANIE! There used to be at least one kind of candy I could resist - not anymore). My vote on #3 is the tweens, only because I believe that inappropriately dressed teenage girls eventually lead to the existence of inappropriately dressed toddlers. And my fave H'ween costumes were (as a kid) Wonder Woman because I had one of those store-bought masks whose eye holes stab you in the tear ducts (but they were coooool) and (as an adult) a lumberjack with a beard made of syrup & coffee grounds - only because my mom & I worked at the same place so I wanted to see if I could go to the work H'ween party without her recognizing me. It worked - for a split second. Come to think of it, that wasn't really worth having syrup on my face all night...

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  4. WHAT?? Stealing from your kids Halloween stash? Preposterous. I would never stoop to such a thing. Never. Hardly ever.
    Candy corn gets a bad rap. It's not that bad. But it's not chocolate either.
    Toddlers dressed as axe murderers would certainly make me steer clear of said toddler's parents.
    A costume I assembled for an adult Halloween party was inspired by a female accused of domestic violence in the 90s. The costume only had three components, but since the case was all over the news at the time everyone knew who I was impersonating. The three items? A bathrobe, a kitchen knife and a half of a salami.

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