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Monday, October 31, 2011

Gerry's P.O.V.

I firmly believe that no one on the planet uses their cell phone camera more than my husband.  He gets it out when Maddie does pretty much anything (or looks like she's about  to do something) and takes 50 pictures in a row, which must look like 50 completely identical pictures to anyone but her parents ("Awww, you can tell she's thinking about the color chartreuse in this one...").


Of course I do that with my camera too, which is why when she's grown up and Diane Sawyer is interviewing her, they'll never actually get around to discussing her multitude of accomplishments because Gerry and I will insist they first show a montage of all 12-bajillion of her priceless baby photos.

When I'm sifting through his downloaded pictures, I find many he took at work for reasons that are unclear.  I'll often come across a photo of an incomprehensible panel of blinking lights and tangled wires; I don't know if he needed to show the set-up to another guy and taking a pic was easier than ripping the panel off the wall, or if he's recording what it looked like when he got there in case his complete rewire of the building doesn't work out and he has to put it back how he found it.  I lump these into a category along with Photos He Takes at Work While Atop Very Tall Buildings, which I suspect he takes mainly just to give me vertigo.

There are other photos taken for practical purposes in there, too.  We don't have a printer hooked up to our computer (I know, it's like we're cave people) because we're incapable of supplying ourselves with the correct kind of ink cartridges and  preventing them from drying up into shriveled little ink cartridge raisins.  I've known Gerry to take a picture of our computer screen that shows a payment confirmation, and use it to return something at the store when it clearly states that a printed receipt is required.  I'm not sure how he gets away with it.


He can use his camera to make a point, like the time I insisted that we didn't own a wet/dry vac, and he had to go out to the garage and show me that I was, in fact, mistaken.


Hmm, point taken.  But sometimes the joke's on someone else...


We don't know these nice folks, but their picture was hanging up on the wall at a lodge where we went over the summer, so he took a close-up of it and sent it to his family with the caption, "We're having a great time on vacation."  This amused us both greatly.

One of my favorite ways he uses it is to capture little scenes from his day; that way, I can feel like I was there with him while he was at work, and I know he was thinking about me.  Like a beautiful sunrise...


or a hungry cat stalking the birds in a nursing home's aviary...


or the remains of a gigantic moth that is a little too well camouflaged for my taste, and clearly died from eating too many whole cows.
 

But best of all is when he finds and shares oddities he encountered throughout the day that he thought might make me laugh.  For instance, an electric wheelchair with an ironic brand name.


Or a prime example of one of my biggest pet peeves.


The perfect pairing of news headline and photo.


Random products (not pictured: a generic tub of margarine with the brand name "Is It Butter?" - I can't find that picture anywhere).



Mysterious item placement - this one was sent to a gal he works with, with a text along the lines of, "I found your car."



Dumb signs (really, people?)


And one of my favorites:
 

Yes, that's a room full of mannequin torsos on poles, surrounding one headless mannequin sitting on a toilet.  I have no idea why.  I love that whoever set this up (and no, it was not Gerry) left a full roll of TP for Headless.  I can't wait until Gerry gets home so I see where he's been today (oh, and because he's awesome)!

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


5 comments:

  1. Okay, this is freaking me out because now Gerry is just like my Bert! I love it! Bert has taken pictures of an alpaca in a minivan on the highway- while driving in the next lane, and also has a collection of pictures of himself with any and every mascot he ever runs into. It's like a journal. Great post to explain this photo-fanaticism phenomenon!

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  2. YOU'RE awesome. I was laughing out loud at this post, which you might know already, since you're right next to me on the couch. I'm pretty sure you're snoozing, though. Too bad, as you just missed San Diego snatching defeat from the jaws of victory on MNF, and in the process blowing any chance I may have had at finishing the first half of AJ's Severalth Annual Football Pool Classic in the $$. Oh, and you're MINE. <3

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  3. I just noticed that the "<3" thing looks less like a sideways heart and more like a stacked less-than sign.

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  4. I think I see a Hollow Tree Ventures Halloween card in the making - "I found your car." Ha Ha Ha!!

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    Replies
    1. You are SO full of great ideas! That one's going in the Zazzle shop.

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