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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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The Natural Cycle of Your Child's Interest In a Pet


The Natural Cycle of Your Child's Interest In a Pet - funny graphic by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


Kidioms 3 - EVEN MORE idioms rewritten for parents!

By now you're probably familiar with Kidioms (she said, wildly flattering herself to think you've ever read this blog before). On the very, very highly unlikely chance that you don't stalk me and therefore aren't familiar with everything I've ever written, Kidioms are translations of old-timey, down-home folksy sayings into updated version that modern parents can use - check out the original Kidioms post and Kidioms 2: The Sequel for a refresher (or just to figure out what the heck I'm talking about). And now - you guessed it - it's time for PART 3!!!

Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV



Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV

Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV


Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV


Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV


Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV


Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV


Ever wonder why folksy sayings don't seem to make much sense? Click through for MORE hilarious Kidioms - classic idioms, rewritten for parents. #funny from @RobynHTV



Liked those? Great! That makes me feel so warm and fuzzy. Don't forget to pop over to check out Kidioms 1 and Kidioms 2! Also, your hair looks pretty today.


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


Why Back-To-School Shopping is Awesomely Awful

I love back to school time! Crisp (still unstained, hole-free) clothes are laid out on the bed. Fresh pencils are sharpened. There's a general buzz of excitement in the air as my kids fill brand new backpacks with empty notebooks, the blank pages just waiting to be filled with class notes (okay, fine - and mostly doodles).

I get a weird, school-supply-geek high from seeing all the glue sticks, boxes of tissues and unused pens spread out on the dining room table at the end of August. We haven't yet sunken into the November doldrums or started complaining about homework; the school year is still stretched out before us, full of promise, like a neatly organized box of 64 washable markers that still have all their caps.

However, actually doing the back-to-school shopping is a different story.


Find out why I love - and hate - back to school shopping on momdotme, and let me know if you agree!


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


I'm Not a Perfect Parent

I'm going to say something very shocking right now.

I'm not a perfect parent.

It's true! I know, hard to believe. But, I'm trying to be better every day.

No, wait. That's a lie.

Here's the real truth that no one wants to say, including me - I'm not a perfect parent, but I can't claim I really try to be better every day. Not really. That's a sentiment for an inspirational quote on Pinterest, not for real life. In real life, I do want to be better every day. And, like most parents, I end many days feeling guilty about the various ways I wish I had done a better job. Been more patient. Stopped to play more. Communicated more clearly. Listened. But can I honestly say I do something about it every day?

Nope.

Because then tomorrow comes and the same stresses are there, the same triggers, the same responsibilities, the same issues that caused problems yesterday. And I continue dealing with them using the same parenting tools I had the day before.

I am not a perfect parent - on MomAssembly by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV


For example, I live with a toddler. She's sweet as apple pie, but she does like to test boundaries, because... toddler. And I'll admit that, on occasion (frequently), I'll give in to her third (and fifth, and forty-seventh) demand for "just one more" because, frankly, I lack the energy to argue about it and I could never really see a way to enforce the limit I'd set (such as, "Hey, probably 82 pieces of gum is enough for one day") without dealing with a giant tantrum.

I am not a fan of tantrums.

But that's okay, because I'll be dealing with fewer of them now. Now, I have MomAssembly.



Co-founded in 2012 by Jill Spivack and Jen Waldburger, MomAssembly is an interactive online video-education site, where you can go any time, day or night, to get real, expert advice on exactly the topics you need (like power struggles, sleep problems, first aid, discipline and raising kids in the digital age, to name a few) in nearly 50 video courses. Each one has a short clip you can watch to see if it's right for you, and the courses are broken down into 5-10 minute classes - so you can fit them into your schedule easily.

I'm not kidding when I say these courses blew my mind. They explain what to do, how to do it, and why to do it in terms that have truly given me "ah-ha" moments that will change the way I parent.

So, after putting Madeline to bed one night (which involved "just one more story" about 400 times) I turned on a course about setting limits and making them stick. They set up some awfully (painfully) familiar parenting scenarios, and since I'm a skeptic deep in my cold, dark heart, I was thinking, "Okay, let's see how they expect us to get out of this kid's argument!" Ten minutes later I was like, "OH, YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT ARGUING?!?!?"

Seriously. It sounds super dumb when I type it out like that, but they actually had a realistic way to handle setting limits and STICKING TO THEM that didn't result in freak outs (from toddler or Mom). Here's a clip so you can see what I mean:


Even if your toddler never tests your limits (hahahahahahaha - liar) there's sure to be a course you'll love, and you can start with a free trial to decide if you want a monthly subscription. They have courses (browse them here) that cover birth through age five, plus some just for mom and dad. And lucky you, if you're one of the first 10 folks to sign up here, you'll get a free month! You'll just need to sign up for a plan first, then you'll be notified by Jill or Jen if you've won at the end of your free trial period. So what're you waiting for?

Disclaimer: I was compensated for this post, but the opinions and the new-found peace in my household are all my own.

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.


26 Unfortunate Parenting Truths

Parenting has its share of happy moments, of funny things that toddlers say and sweet cuddles with a book at bedtime. I would say it's 90 percent completely awesome, give or take a handful of tantrums.

But no one — and I mean no one — expects it to be perfect all the time. They know there will be fights, food feuds and frustrations. So many frustrations.

But not just the obvious ones, like the complete and utter lack of sleep or logic you deal with on the daily. Moms and dads also encounter a surprising number of smaller, unavoidable frustrations, like Murphy's Laws that are unique to parenting.

You know about Murphy's Law, right? The theory that anything that can go wrong, will? Yes, of course you do — soon enough, all parents know it, because they live with it every day.

Don't think so? Consider the funny, universal parenting truths I wrote about over on mom.me: 26 Murphy's Laws of Parenting!



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing - and so I don't get all lonely. I get extra-pathetic when I'm lonely.