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Hollow Tree Ventures parenting humor
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New Year's Resolutions the Smart and Lazy Way!

I'm going to come right out and fully admit that I suck at keeping New Year's Resolutions.

What I really excel at, though, is making New Year's Resolutions that I don't HAVE to keep, which is how I uncovered the secrets to making realistic resolutions. Or maybe I mean "realistic" resolutions. Whatever.

In any case, I've gone one better this year.

Everyone focuses on improving themselves in the new year, but let's face it - wouldn't your life be improved a lot more quickly and easily if certain other people in your life made some changes instead?

So this year, rather than make a bunch of promises about my own behavior that everyone knows I'm just going to break and/or forget about by the second week of January, I'm going to make some resolutions for other people. That way, when 2015 rolls around and none of these people do what I told them to do - and as a result absolutely nothing about my life changes in any way - it isn't my fault! Same results I always get from resolutions, but without the guilt!

I KNOW, IT'S KIND OF GENIUS.

If you want to hop on board, I have some ideas for great resolutions - and who needs to make them - over on momdotme with New Year's Resolutions For Other People! Check them out, and then let me know who you think should promise to make your life better in the new year!




I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


5 Reasons Not To Have Holiday Traditions With Your Kids

Do you have family holiday traditions? You probably do, if you have a family and celebrate one or more of The Holidays.

But you probably shouldn't bother, and here's why: What many of us call "traditions" are really just "annual bad habits that we refuse to let die."

Nevertheless, perhaps in a misguided attempt to paint my family into an idealistic Norman Rockwell scene every Christmas, I've nurtured a few holiday traditions with my kids. I want to build a foundation of happy childhood moments they'll recreate with their own children someday, plus it would sure be nice if we could just PLEASE SHARE SOME MAGICAL MEMORIES, ALREADY!

Unfortunately, the vision of holiday jubilation I strive to bring to life almost always goes out of focus at some point, making me sort of wish I'd just spiked my eggnog and waited for January to roll around instead.

5 Family Holiday Traditions I Wish I'd Never Started With My Kids by @RobynHTV

Please help yourself to a few misshapen, sloppily iced tree-ish looking cookies and then head over to momdotme, where I'm sharing the 5 holiday traditions I regret ever starting. Then, if you don't mind, bring me back a cup of coffee; these cookies might be harder than bricks, but they aren't going to eat themselves!


I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


The Perfect Advent Calendar For Everyone In the Family


Do you use an Advent calendar this time of year? Did you handmake one yourself from some kind of incomprehensible Pinterest tutorial? Do you barely have any idea what I'm talking about?

Advent calendars use a series of 24 fun surprises to count down the days of December until Christmas. Using them is a long-standing holiday tradition that, along with putting a wreath on my front door and threatening my children with the Elf on the Shelf, is one more thing I'll probably forget to do until it's nearly Christmas Eve.

If you'd like some ideas for what to hide inside your kids' Advent calendar, check out Realistic Advent Calendar Gifts For Toddlers and Teens on momdotme. Your kids will LOVE this stuff! Best of all, with items like "An envelope full of glitter" for your toddler and "No more questions about dates, friends, school or their black fingernail polish" for your teen, all it's likely to cost you is your sanity!

Likewise, if you're looking for the perfect series of 24 treats for moms, pop over to see It’s Like This Advent Calendar Knows Our Every Wish on NickMom! Personally, I can't wait for December 20th.




I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Birth Order: A Definitive Guide To Which Is Best

The ultimate guide to which spot is BEST in birth order - oldest, middle, youngest or only! @RobynHTV

When I was growing up, my brother used to torment me by swinging one of my dolls around by the leg, even though (in my high-pitched, screechy little girl voice) I made it perfectly clear that she didn't like being dizzy - or thrown unceremoniously against the wall.

When he got bored with that, he would hide my beloved Blankie, or force me to build my genius Lego creations using only his rejected blue one-block bricks, or pretend to tickle me from a quarter inch away (which he excused by pointing out that he technically wasn't touching me).

Yes, he's my older brother - could you tell?

Similarly, as the youngest, I had ways of tormenting him back. I was an expert at getting him in trouble when he hadn't done anything wrong, I stole his high school yearbook full of uber-private "Have a great summer - K.I.T!" messages and mocked him mercilessly, and my knee perpetually found its way over to "his side" of the car.

We each always griped that the other had it best - I was jealous that he got to do everything before I did, he hated that I got away with murder - but at the same time, like most siblings, we fiercely defended our spot in the birth order as Absolute Best.

But which spot is best?

I did an in-depth study on the pros and cons of each birth order placement - oldest, middle, youngest and only child - based on minutes and minutes of research and making stuff up in my head. As a result, I've determined which one WINS. The answer?

All of them.

No matter which place you hold in your family, find out why your spot is the best - then share the list with your brothers and sisters and friends. They'll be sure to appreciate your good news!

15 funny reasons it's great to be an ONLY CHILD!

15 funny reasons it's great to be an OLDEST CHILD!

15 funny reasons it's great to be a MIDDLE CHILD!

15 funny reasons it's great to be the YOUNGEST CHILD!



I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!


Pinterest-Ready Mom Fashion Layouts

Funny Pinterest-style fashion layouts for moms by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV
I see gorgeous collections of stylish clothes on Pinterest all the time, and I love them - but I exist so far outside the realm of current fashion that I had to actually poll my friends to ask what these Pinteresty collections are called.

We settled on "fashion layouts," but it turns out none of my fellow moms were entirely sure either. Maybe that's because no matter how much we admire them, few of us can afford $250 suede boots, even if they would look perfect with that asymmetrical cashmere wrap (which we'd have jelly smeared on within five minutes). And no sane mama would risk having that trendy multi-layer beaded necklace ripped off her neck by curious baby hands, nor could she fit her diapers and wipes into that adorable leather clutch.

That's why we need fashion layouts for moms. Because we have our very own style, and it's time we gave our wardrobes the Pinterest treatment!

Funny Pinterest-style fashion layouts for moms BASICS by Robyn Welling @RobynHTV

The Mom Fashion Basics Collection includes a white t-shirt and black yoga pants, perfect for everyday wear. From an overflowing diaper bag to dark glasses for disguising your under-eye bags, this collection has everything you need. A gigantic mug of coffee (AS FAR AS ANYONE KNOWS) keeps you going, while stickers slapped onto your legs by your kids pull double duty, covering stains and adding colorful flair!

Of course, motherhood frequently takes you beyond the basics - you need trendy, practical outfits for all sorts of scenarios! So go see the rest of these FABULOUS collections on momdotme, in Pinterest-Ready Fashion Layouts For Moms!

I hope you enjoyed yourself while you were here - and I hope you come back! Please share inappropriate giggles with me on Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook, or subscribe via email so you don't miss a thing!